fast-food
Survey Says Ronald McDonald Is 'Creepy'
Jeff Neumann · 05/18/11 06:34AMFast Food Moguls Continue to Live Far Longer Than You Will
Hamilton Nolan · 05/16/11 10:40AMIt is the final, sweetest "fuck you" to America when a fast-food mogul lives a long, healthy life, and passes away at an age that their most ardent patrons could never hope to reach, what with the saturated fats and all. In just the past few years, sausage king Jimmy Dean died at age 81; Taco Bell founder Glen Bell died at 86; Sonic founder Troy Smith died at 87; Hardees founder Wilber Hardee died at 89; Baskin-Robbins founder Irvine Robbins died at 90; Carl's Jr. founder Carl Karcher died at 90; and frozen french fry mogul J.R. Simplot passed on at the ripe old age of 99.
Burger King Is Withdrawing from Iraq, Too
Jeff Neumann · 05/14/11 01:20PMThis summer, as the remaining U.S. troops are pulled out of Iraq, we'll be taking some cultural icons with us: Burger King, Pizza Hut, Subway and Cinnabon are leaving the country, too. That's right — not only will Iraqis be missing the sight of heavily armed foreign troops and the comforting buzz of Predator drones, but they'll no longer catch a whiff of an oven fresh Meat Lover's® pizza wafting over the concrete blast walls of their local Forward Operating Base. All of the restaurants are scheduled to be pulled out by year's end.
McDonald's Seeks to Lure Hobos Away from Starbucks
Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/11 12:09PMFast Food Brawls: Now at IHOP
Adrian Chen · 04/27/11 01:47PMAmerica's worst trend, YouTube videos of fast food patrons fighting, continues. Now it's happening at an Atlanta IHOP, where an off-duty police officer punched a woman in the face, kicking off a melee. It's unclear exactly why the cop was struggling with these people in the first place. The lawyer representing three of the women in the video accused the police officer of "excessive force."
Absolutely Nothing Will Keep Americans Out of Starbucks
Hamilton Nolan · 04/27/11 10:36AM'Elaborate Ruse' Relieves McDonald's Patron of Handbag, Innocence
Hamilton Nolan · 04/26/11 08:24AMVoracious Americans Demand More Calories in Snak Paks
Hamilton Nolan · 04/21/11 02:53PMTaco Bell Would Like an Apology for Beef Lawsuit
Eater.com · 04/21/11 01:09AMTaco Bell Meat-Questioning Lawsuit Withdrawn
Seth Abramovitch · 04/19/11 01:15AMMcDonald's Pulls Obscene Ad Showing Children Nearly Holding Hands
Hamilton Nolan · 04/14/11 02:27PMMcDonald's Trying to Pretend Like Its Jobs Aren't Horrible
Hamilton Nolan · 04/04/11 01:29PMDon't pull that trigger just yet, suicidal chronically unemployed Americans: Mcdonald's is hiring 50,000 new workers right here in the USA, for positions ranging from cleaning grease traps to supervising the cleaning of grease traps to creating spreadsheets that rank the most cost-effective methods of cleaning grease traps. It's all part of a McDonald's effort to keep its grease traps clean. Along with its image!
Felony Charge for Burger King Bikini Brawler
Jeff Neumann · 03/28/11 06:36AMA 30-year-old Alabama woman who sparked one of the greatest food fights of all time inside a Panama City Beach, Florida Burger King has been charged with a laundry list of crimes: felony criminal mischief, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and two counts of misdemeanor battery. Shit, that's rough. An official statement on the accused, Kimesa Smith, via the The News Herald:
Fast Food Restaurants Will Kill Your Teen One Way or Another
Hamilton Nolan · 02/15/11 03:41PMDrunk Man Caught Eating His Own Paper Napkin at Denny's
Richard Blakeley · 02/14/11 02:35PMWatch as a very intoxicated Sean Connery look-alike at a West Hollywood Denny's was recently caught on video eating his own paper napkin.