fast-food

Can Spain Conquer America With Sandwiches?

Lauri Apple · 08/13/11 05:16PM

The ambitious Spanish sandwich chain 100 Montaditos plans to out-Starbucks Starbucks in the rapid growth department by building 4,000 restaurants in the U.S. over the next five years. Could a European company actually pull off such a feat?

Swedish Prime Minister's Kid Gets Job at McDonald's

Maureen O'Connor · 08/03/11 05:33PM

Well, this upends everything I thought I knew about Scandinavians and children of privilege: Gustaf Reinfeldt, 18-year-old son of the Swedish prime minister Fredrik Reinfeldt, recently got a job flipping burgers at a McDonald's in Stockholm.

Man Seeks Justice After Bloody Band-Aid Pizza Encounter

Lauri Apple · 07/31/11 02:30PM

Perhaps the only thing worse than discovering spiders hiding in your Domino's pizza is biting down on your Pizza Hut pizza and finding a Band-Aid caked with dried blood in your mouth. Of course, the latter could never happen, right?

Chuck E. Cheese Embroiled in Crude Gesture Scandal

Richard Lawson · 07/27/11 02:33PM

Citizens of Las Cruces, NM and protectors of decency everywhere are outraged after a photo surfaced in which Chuck E. Cheese, known mouse pizza mascot, appeared to be giving "The Finger" while posing for a photo with a 4-year-old boy.

McDonald's Makes Happy Meals Slightly Less-Deadly

Adrian Chen · 07/27/11 10:23AM

McDonald's, which for years has played wicked witch to our plump little Hansels and Gretles, has announced that they are making their happy meals a bit healthier. Will this keep our children from having their first aneurisms at 12 years-old?

Bear Mauls Car In Search of Chicken McNuggets

Jeff Neumann · 07/24/11 11:54PM

What happens when you leave Chicken McNuggets in your car in the the Gila Wilderness of New Mexico? Leroy Griego knows: "A bear destroyed my car looking for Chicken McNuggets," he told Las Cruces Sun-News. And after surveying the damage Dennis O'Keefe, a local bookshop owner who saw Griego's mangled car, chimed in:

The Quiznos Death Watch Begins

Hamilton Nolan · 07/21/11 09:18AM

America is little more than prairie riddled with chain stores and fast food restaurants, so when a big national store it's bankrupt, it's a bit like losing a vapid but beloved family member. We just lost Borders. Is Quiznos next?

Taco Bell Employee Quits in Best Way Possible

Max Read · 07/16/11 08:57AM

Is there anything more gratifying than quitting a crappy job in dramatic, bridge-incinerating fashion? I don't think there is! But maybe we could ask Adam, former Taco Bell shift manager, since he seems to have some experience in that department. Adam submitted his sign-based resignation ("I QUIT - ADAM/FUCK YOU :)") on Thursday night; apparently he was upset that he was denied time off on July 4, despite having worked 22 days in a row. [WIVB via Fark]

Food Companies Voluntarily Agree to Change Nothing

Hamilton Nolan · 07/15/11 11:01AM

You can't accuse Big Food companies of failing to care about America's health. If Americans die, who will buy all the Cheetos and Kool Aid, for example? That's why Big Food is willing to make minor cosmetic concessions—for you!

'Fast Drunks' Coming to Drive-Thru Near You

Hamilton Nolan · 07/01/11 02:34PM

Our nation's fast food outlets are all in that "teenage phase" right now, in which they all try to "find themselves" by trying on various new identities. Denny's is a "diner. Panera is a hippie haven. Everywhere else is now a "cafe." The only thing that our nation's fast food outlets can all agree on: they need more drunk people on their premises.

All Fast Food Outlets Now 'Cafes'

Hamilton Nolan · 06/14/11 09:39AM

Americans are a proud people. So even when we are completely broke, as we are now, we still demand that our natural fantasies of class and superiority be indulged. Welcome to the crappy cheap food place cafe, sir.

Ice Cream 'Cone-ing' Your New Favorite Fad

Lauri Apple · 06/12/11 08:28PM

Just last month we were all planking on top of cop cars and camels, reacquainting ourselves with the joy and sense of wonderment that we knew as children. Now it's time for Cone-ing: a new "craze" that involves fast-food ice cream cones and cold hands.

Los Angeles Gets Its Very First Papaya King

Brian Moylan · 05/31/11 03:29PM

Papaya King, the red and orange hot dog emporium that has been adding heartburn to Manhattanites' hangovers for decades, finally opened a branch in Los Angeles. So far there are lines out the block for the New York chain's famous hot dogs. Does this mean we're finally going to get an In 'N' Out Burger?