fast-food

Hamilton Nolan · 01/15/14 10:40AM

Pizza Hut is about to begin selling pizza by the slice (in York, Nebraska and Pawtucket, Rhode Island, where no good pizza slices are available for comparison).

Why Don't You Eat at Quiznos Any More?

Hamilton Nolan · 12/06/13 01:26PM

Quiznos—the sandwich place, you know, with the "toasty" kinda subs? That one. Real popular place, not too long ago. What happened?

The Basic Inescapability of Fast Food for Kids

Hamilton Nolan · 11/05/13 10:48AM

The fast food industry cares about the health of your kids. That's why the fast food industry is self-regulating when it comes to marketing their meat-poison to children. And self-regulation always works. That's why kids are still eating tons of fast food.

The McDonald's Dollar Menu Is Dead

Hamilton Nolan · 10/22/13 08:27AM

The sands of time eventually destroy all things. Not actual McDonald's burgers—those are pretty much immortal, like all plastics. But McDonald's cheapest prices? Those will be dead in just two weeks.

You People Inexplicably Love Subway's Advertising

Hamilton Nolan · 10/16/13 09:44AM

You, the ruminant-like American consumer, "chewing your cud" (Cheetos) on your voluminous reclining chair as you passively absorb advertising messages for processed food conglomerates: which fast food ad do you relate to the most? The fake healthy place. Huh.