Actress and noted hostage-taker Faye Dunaway says she can't be evicted from her rent-stabilized Manhattan apartment because she doesn't even live there. Dunaway claims that her slumlord "refused to paint the house, and bugs were everywhere." Rich people. [NYT]

Faye Dunaway is a much-feared resident of West Hollywood. That's pretty much common knowledge. Ask around a bit, and you're sure to hear a tale or two about the star of Mommie Dearest and Network terrorizing a Koo Koo Roo or holding an El Salvadorian car wash employee hostage with a barbecue lighter. And like any Norma Desmond worth her salt, Dunaway has more than a few skeletons squirreled away in her closet. Some of them are literal skeletons of Thai food delivery boys who'd forgotten her chicken satay. Others, however, are figurative skeletons — shadily held property holdings, for example, such as the one-bedroom walk-up on East 78th St. she's been calling her "primary residence" since 1994.

Just like most acceptance speeches and colonoscopies, the Cannes Film Festival goes on a little bit too long. That means that all of Hollywood is still living it up in the south of France, wearing their fancy clothes, and going to movie premieres. Here are some of the highlights.

Last night marked the start of the Cannes Film Festival, Hollywood's paid vacation to the south of France. So, who's currently caught up in the collision of blockbusters and indies? Oh, just about every star on earth. Here are just a few.

Kim Kardashian celebrates her 30th birthday by making a video of herself getting frothed in the face. Nicki Minaj "doesn't do" escalators. Charlie Sheen throws a party. A vengeful flight attendant plays a "wire hangers" prank on Faye Dunaway. Monday gossip's cup overfloweth.

It hasn't been the easiest year for Vikram Pandit, but the Citigroup CEO has at least one reason to smile today: It's his 53rd birthday. Cranky 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney turns 91 today. Fox News anchor Shepard Smith is 46. Maureen Dowd of the New York Times is turning 58. Director Steven Soderbergh turns 47. Jason Bateman is 41. Dave Grohl is turning 41. LL Cool J is 42. Model Angela Lindvall is celebrating her 31st birthday. And Faye Dunaway turns 69 today.

Hilary Duff has reportedly blinked in the escalating Cuban Missile Crisis of Hollywood catfights, standing down from last week's vicious retaliatory attacks against Faye Dunaway.

We've finally found the unlikely silver lining to Hilary Duff's casting in the forthcoming Bonnie and Clyde update. Sadly, you won't see it in the finished film.

As Wall Street's recklessness brings the country to its knees—and as the nearly $20 billion in bonuses claimed by bankers after the crisis began triggers mass outrage—is it time for the return of the bank robber as folk hero? The FBI is seeing a significant leap in bank robberies in many U.S. cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, and just as the real life Bonnie and Clyde were cheered on by the public during the Great Depression, one reporter suggests that it's now "proving hard to keep the public on the side of the law when banks are the only victims and the average haul is just $10,000, chump change on Wall Street." On a related note, Faye Dunaway is said to be unhappy that Hilary Duff will reprise the role of Bonnie in a remake of the 1967 classic, but we're guessing she'll be pleased that robbing banks for a living has never been more fashionable.

Worst birthday ever: Embattled Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit turns 52 today, although we're going to assume that whatever big party Swati Pandi had been planning is not going ahead as scheduled. Others celebrating: 60 Minutes' Andy Rooney is turning 90. Fox News anchor Shepard Smith is 45. The New York Times' Maureen Dowd is 57. Models Karen Elson and Angela Lindvall are both turning 30. Filmmaker Steven Soderbergh is 46. Cranky liberal Eric Alterman is 49. Venture capitalist (and babe magnet) Adam Dell is turning 39. Jason Bateman is 40. Dave Grohl is celebrating his 40th. LL Cool J is 41. Faye Dunaway is turning 68. And Ms. Kristin Cavallari is turning 22 today.

♦ It was the Metropolitan Opera's 125th opening night on Monday and so naturally a long list of recognizable faces trooped out for the occasion. In floor-length gowns and tuxes to walk the red carpet and watch Renée Fleming: Barbara Walters, Howard Stringer, Michael Bloomberg, Helen Mirren, Christie Brinkley, Faye Dunaway, Molly Sims, Taylor Momsen, Martha Stewart, Hilary and Bryant Gumbel, Henry Kravis, Mercedes Bass, Ann Ziff, Georgina Chapman (left), Helena Christensen, Jane Fonda, John Lithgow, Juliana Margulies, Joy and Regis Philbin, John Turturro, Parker Posey, Peggy Siegal, Ellen and Chuck Scarborough, Deborah Norville, Julie Macklowe, and Tory Burch. [Park Ave Peerage, NYSun, Wireimage, PMc]

Sad news for any schadenfreude addicts out there, but there was nary a swan head nor a peek of butt floss out to be seen on the carpet last night. Instead, we saw 80s-esque gold glitter fiascos (Faye Dunaway), billowy black muumuus (Ellen Page) and particularly poor choices in fabric, especially for a former stripper (Diablo!). While there aren't any oh-no-she-didn't moments, we were disappointed in several of the carpet walkers this evening:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you secretly wished you had the balls of that creepy dude at The Grove Apple Store hitting on Gabrielle Anwar:

The bizarre Koo Koo Roo eating habits of your favorite stars of the 1960s/70s, revealed! "DINERS at the Koo Koo Roo in L.A. were jolted when they saw Faye Dunaway sashay in wearing gym clothes and plastic food-handling gloves. 'She ordered chicken and broccoli to go, and then she sat at a table with her food container," reports cyber gossip Janet Charlton. 'She pulled a tiny scale out of her purse and . . . proceeded to pull the chicken meat off the bones and weigh it. She piled the bones and skin on a napkin. She carefully weighed the chicken meat and broccoli, and the broccoli was a little short, so she went to the counter and asked for more.'" [P6]

• "Blind" item from gossip marm Ben Widdicombe: "Which druggy young actress, who commands in the solid seven figures per role, is infamous for pocketing the rolled-up bills of her pals after snorting cocaine?" Hmm. [Gatecrasher, last item]
  

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you noticed Faye Dunaway meditating between screenings at the Sunset 5.