Robert Kovacik, a reporter for NBC Los Angeles, managed to stay calm during a live news segment on Thursday night in which he shared camera time with a cockroach that probably just wanted to be on TV. To his credit, Kovacik did not let the attention-whore bug ruin the shot. As any good top model would know, the best thing to do in this situation is kiss the roach, but if that's not an option, staring straight ahead works just fine too.

The Fear Factor segment that was deemed too horrifying for American audiences somehow found its way onto Danish television.

The twin contestants who were challenged to guzzle donkey semen and urine on NBC's Fear Factor may be able to extend their 15 minutes. TMZ reports that Brynne and Claire Odioso were approached by webcam site MyGirlFund.com. Now, there's no guarantee the twins would be doing anything pornographic, but if you read between the lines on the site, you'll get a pretty good idea of what's expected.

After discovering that the Fear Factor episode in which they chugged mugs of donkey semen and urine had been canceled, twins Brynne and Claire Odioso called into Tampa radio's Cowhead Show to describe their harrowing ordeal. Shortly thereafter, Brynne told me by phone today, NBC-Universal told her to STFU.

On Thursday, TMZ reported that NBC's Fear Factor would be forcing its contestants to guzzle beer steins full of donkey urine and donkey semen. (The urine doesn't sound so bad, right?) This raises a whole lot of questions about what reality television is willing to put its contestants through — and what we, as a viewing public, are willing to watch. It's one thing when Andrew Zimmern eats at an all-penis restaurant on Bizarre Foods. This is a horrifying amount of unadulterated donkey jizz.

Because there are too many shows about teachers and scientists and artists and hobos out there, one network is boldly doing a show about lawyers. Also today: a doctor becomes a ghost dad and Joe Rogan is back, ladies.

Today's spoooookiest Halloween story is about how a scary troll named Michael Chertoff called up our governor and made him back down from his plan to give driver's licenses to aliens. Because letting Hondurans drive to work will lead to a hundred more 9/11s! The Homeland Security chief bullied Gov. Spitzer into supporting a weird "tiered" license system in which illegal immigrants will have theirs printed with invisible ink on cocktail napkins with a big stamp that says "DO NOT LET ON AIRPLANES" while us citizens get the totally brand-new and fucking terrifying-sounding "Real IDs" that have microchips and spycams and GPS devices in them probably. So Spitzer kinda caved like three different ways here and now everyone is mad at him again! Except Chertoff, who promised to keep that Homeland Security money flowing into Albany.

Yesterday, we received an email from a couple who've started a blog to boost their chances at being cast on Fear Factor. Our immediate reaction was, "Fear Factor is still on TV?" Our second thought, perhaps even less charitable than the first, was, "Not Survivor? Amazing Race? They want help getting attention for their campaign to win the opportunity to gobble as many rooster testicles, bison boners, and llama anuses as their stomachs can handle in 60 seconds, then suffer Joe Rogan's smug giggles when they inevitably vomit?" Then we realized it's not nice to laugh at self-destructive impulses that we don't understand, so we'll wish them luck, hoping that the thought of the million dollar prize helps them keep down that nasty goulash of animal junk as they're being dropped off a skyscraper in a Ford Focus. Godspeed, etc etc.