Many of us have heard and survived ghastly "real housewife" Kim Zolciak's single, "Tardy for the Party." So, who actually bought it? People who like RuPaul, which makes sense. But all that twisted love actually belongs to NeNe.

Paula Abdul danced her way into her VH1 Divas introduction as a way of poking good-natured fun at Ellen. But could it simply be a sad ploy at subtle revenge?

It should be a happy day for Mike Arrington and Jason Calacanis. The tech nabobs just wrapped their latest TechCrunch 50 conference, which captivated venture capitalists and the press. But the moguls are locked in Northern California-Southern California civil war.

A judge rejected a $33m settlement that would have ended the SEC's lawsuit against Bank of America, which is accused of not using enough judgment in giving executive bonuses. The settlement, said the judge, was unfair and inadequate. Shocker. [NYT]

Comedy Central is taking advantage of Kanye's idiocy to rebroadcast the "Fishsticks" South Park episode.

The community group ACORN has come under heavy fire after two employees were filmed giving a fake hooker advice on how to commit tax fraud. Now they're thinking of suing Fox News for airing the footage. But does it matter?

After spotting some stray tweets about the incident, Todd Bishop of TechFlash dug up the tale: At yesterday's annual Microsoft meeting at Safeco Field, Ballmer was making his entrance when a 'Softie tried to snap his picture with an iPhone. Bad idea!

Ellen DeGeneres was floating on cloud nine this week, when American Idol producers finalized a deal that made her the show's fourth judge. Sadly, that cloud has popped. Her talk show's being sued!

Gwyneth needs a better bra. The gays need not beg to kiss George Clooney. And Megan Fox knows she doesn't need a sex tape. All that and more in your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

Fox News personalities like Glenn Beck have been attacking Obama's "green jobs czar," Van Jones for being, like, totally radical. But, haha, Jones published a book with HarperCollins, which is owned by News Corp., which owns Fox News. [News Hounds]

Demi Moore's 15-year-old daughter Tallulah was snapped revealing some underage cleavage on hipster nightlife site The Cobrasnake. So, internet cockroach Perez Hilton posted it. Now they're going on about it on Twitter in a fight they both can only lose.

New court papers have Wolfgang Puck's wife dissing everyone from Anna Wintour to Shaquille O'Neal and proclaiming herself "the new Bill Gates." It's the inevitable trainwreck ending to a food huckster's partnership with a group of internet speculators.

Chairman Bill Gates famously cursed out Microsoft programmers. CEO Steve Ballmer screams and throws chairs. But online chief Qi Lu is as subtle as he is lethal, a corporate terminator who will hunt Google endlessly until it is dead.

Those Fox News folk were on a roll tonight. First there was Glenn Beck's "poor me" soliloquy. And then Bill O'Reilly went on to break the ceasefire between his network and NBC. And totally called out NBC honcho Jeff Zucker.

Two feuding families in Alabama sparked a riot of 150 people. Four people were injured.

After kicking Google off its board, will Apple compete with the company on its home turf? Quite possibly: Apple's new server farm "would qualify as a big-ass data center," an official backend expert told Cult of Mac. OK then! (Pic)

Recently it came to light that Dick Cheney and George W. Bush aren't exactly chums. Now the full extent of the contempt Cheney developed for what he saw as Bush's lack of resolve is being exposed, and it's ugly.

They say bickering intensifies as stakes diminish; this helps explain the enmity engulfing the U.S. Chess Federation. A struggle over board seats turned into a flurry of lawsuits, all rooted in the following obscene and allegedly faked internet postings.

Perhaps it was his over-entitled LA Lakers fandom that caused Alex von Furstenberg, heir to Barry Diller's fortune, to think that (attempted) public shaming was the best reaction to a basketball star pursuing his fiancee. That, or stupidity. Same thing.

It's been more than two years since restaurateur (and drama magnet) Nello Balan filed suit against Amy Sacco's Bungalow 8, accusing the club's bouncers of beating him up during a visit to the former hot spot back in May 2006. Nello came forward in the spring of 2007 to say that a bouncer had punched him in the eye and hit him over the head with a metal object (he also said his 21-year daughter was pushed), and the altercation left him with 10 stitches and a fracture to his eye-socket.