It took a whole fleet of NYPD officers, both uniformed and in plainclothes, to take down just a handful of young women at the 125th St 2/3 subway station on Friday night. Between the bumbling cops and the screeching girls, no one here ends up looking good.

A Florida woman faces a charge of battery causing bodily harm after breaking the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not throw thy Bible at thy son's girlfriend. She is literally a Bible beater.

After initially announcing that he'd attack her again if he had the chance, angry drunk Stephen Hanks has apologized for telling Bristol Palin that her mother is a "whore" and "white trash." His lawyer released a statement to E! News:

Bristol Palin was riding the mechanical bull at a Hollywood bar in front of a throng of paparazzi and reality TV cameras, when a rude drunk yelled, "Your mother's a whore!" Bristol marched up to the man, jutted out her new chin, and got into a heated confrontation:

Former KGB agent and billionaire newspaper tycoon Alexander Lebedev decided to spice up his appearance on some boring Russian talk show by punching fellow Russian billionaire Sergei Polonsky in the face. But it was probably justified, because Polonsky was the first to say he wanted to "stick one in the mouth."

Teonna Brown, the 19-year-old woman filmed beating transgender woman Chrissy Polis at a Baltimore-area McDonald's, was sentenced to five years in jail on hate-crime charges. "I'm sorry. My mother did not raise me like this," Brown said in court.

So these boys in Las Cruces, New Mexico thought it would be clever to get on their Facebooks and "cyberbully" the Zinsations, a local street dance troupe. It was not clever! Because four of the Zinsations beat the shit out of those bullyboys at McDonald's the other day.

Washington, DC transit officials launched an investigation on Tuesday after learning of a video that appears to show a Metrobus driver forcibly throwing a passenger off a bus and straight to the ground. A Metro spokesman called the driver's actions "completely unacceptable" and noted that "appropriate action" would be taken against him just as soon as they figure out who the hell he is. Because they don't know.

Bears! Everyone agrees that they need to be put in their place. But only one woman in America is brave enough to do so: Brooke Collins of Juneau, Alaska, who punched a bear in the face to save her dog.

We learned last week how annoying it can be when people take over an entire New York City subway car to throw a party. But there are worse things in this world, as you'll see in this newly uploaded video of an all-girl brawl that erupted on the R train.

Just when the stripper-led Dougherty gang was beginning to make us like Florida and its statewide rejection of "decency" and "morality" and "laws," along comes allegedly abusive defense lawyer Terry Lee Locy and his naked, sword-dueling style of courtship.

There are epic Taser incidents and then there's this: An R&B singer and former candidate for one of Alabama's U.S. Senate seats, Simone De Moore, up until last Sunday was the music director at New Welcome Baptist Church in St. Elmo, Alabama. He was fired by Reverend Riley and, according to Moore's mother, Agolia, "They owed him. He asked them for his money."

"Chronicles of the A train. Chronicles of the A train," says the world-weary straphanger after witnessing this severely one-sided "fight" that is today's entry into the hefty catalog of recent subway insanity. I bet what would help to not have a clearly insane and/ or intoxicated man get his ass beat by the most frustrated of an entire train car's worth of frustrated riders is to shut the train doors more frequently than once every four minutes. That would deprive us all of our day's unsettling voyeurism, though.

It takes a lot to have a noteworthy New York City subway fight video these days—you're competing with the spaghetti fight and the berserk naked wig-out and everything else.

Just like the "Kentucky Woman" Neil Diamond sang about, Melissa Harvick "shines with her own kind of light," you could say. Earlier this week, Harvick appeared at a family court hearing as the defendant in a dispute with her husband, who had filed a domestic violence order against her. While her husband tried to explain his side of the story to the presiding judge, Harvick allegedly interrupted him and wouldn't stop talking. This prompted the judge to sentence Harvick to ten days in jail for contempt of court. The jail sentence did not please Harvick very much, as you will soon come to understand by watching the video above.

Attention, residents of Strongville, Ohio! A possibly-violent banana (-costumed person) is on the loose, having assaulted a man wearing a gorilla costume outside a cell phone store. "I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla," manager Brandon Parham, told WJW-TV. "He just looked like a Spartan from that movie 300, except he was a banana." How does such a thing happen? Who is responsible? When will WJW reporter Melissa Reid get an award for this sentence: "Police say the person dressed up as a banana split and headed south on Pearl Road"? We may never know. Police, we are told, "believe it was a prank." [WJW-TV]

Thanks to the tireless reporting of the New York Post's legal correspondents, we learned the vivid details of this one time that some rich people fought over the last Pad Thai in a Manhattan Trader Joe's frozen food aisle. And now we have the verdict: opera singer Marcella Caprario has been acquitted of all charges. In honor of this monumental verdict, let's revisit the Post's play-by-play of the January "fight" between Caprario and Dr. Catherine London:

In the cutthroat tabloid wars of America's most competitive media market, scoops are the currency by which newspapers live and die. Today, the New York Post has scored what may prove to be the definitive journalistic coup in its centuries-long battle for supremacy in Gotham's newspaper market: the EXCLUSIVE story of one lady being mad at another lady, in the supermarket.

Here's a strange video of a man beating up a fellow passenger shot through the window of a subway car. According to the description of the video, the fight (if you can call one dude getting beat about the head and neck repeatedly a "fight") erupted over a dispute over a subway seat.

A 12-person fight broke out at 30,000 feet on a Virgin flight from England headed to Barbados. It had to be broken up by crew and other passengers. But what got the whole thing started?