Hot Pockets, a brand of garbage available in your grocer's freezer until this week's recall, apparently has many fans who share their love for the diseased-meat snacks on Twitter. But how many of these pre-recall Hot Pockets tweets ended in death?

The entire history of the environmental movement can be best explained as "some humans trying to fix or at least slow down what all the other humans are doing." A new report from the Ocean Conservancy says 560,000 people volunteered to pull garbage out of the seas last year, and they got a huge haul of toxic crap!

Congratulations are in order for the Grand Resort Hotel & Convention Center in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, which has been named the Dirtiest Hotel in America. What does a hotel do after winning such a prestigious award?

A Texas debt collection company had a unique style for reminder voicemails to one black customer. "This is your motherfucking wake-up call you little lazy ass bitch. Get your motherfucking nigger ass up and go pick some motherfucking cotton fields."

According to the BBC, Malusi Gigaba, South Africa's deputy minister of home affairs, is looking into the possibility of a complete ban on all smut—including racy internet content and even cellphone porn.

Porn stars, including Ron Jeremy, are sick of you watching their "creative artistry" for free. So a bunch of them that you might vaguely, guiltily recognize have put together this earnest video imploring you to pay for your... fun. [Wired]

It used to be that people who were compulsive hoarders suffered in silence. Now they can suffer on national television! That A&E show Hoarders has made them the hottest crazies on the block. Should they be destroyed?

Move aside, The Dark Whopper! There's a blacker, juicier mouthful being featured over at Portland's CineMagic theater. One moment..this just in. Sorry, our bad. This was just a marquee changover from Hancock to The Dark Knight. Never mind. (Though if we got you all worked up with promises of summer-movie-inspired adult fare, we understand the TomKat is currently screening a double feature of XXX-Files: I Want To Be Fisted and Mamma All-Boy Anal Gangbang Mia!.) Thanks, Defamer editor-at-large Mark Lisanti, for The Dark Tip!

Newspaper and magazines are maybe dying because they are simply not as awesome as they used to be. The American Antiquarian Society has put together a book called The Flash Press: Sporting Male Weeklies in 1840s New York, and those sporting male weeklies make our modern-day tabloids and lad mags look like they're put together by a bunch of kittens and marketed to little girls. They are called The Flash Press after The Flash, a weekly founded by a drunk Bostonian named William Snelling. He wrote a poem about how much he hated all the other poets in the nation, then moved to New York to spend more time at brothels. Eventually he founded that four-page weekly paper, dedicated to "Awful Developments, Dreadful Accidents and Unexpected Exposures." Was he the original blogger?!

We'd hate to ruin this moment with too much talking, so we'll keep this brief: Yes, that's Eva Mendes. Yes, she is savoring her own big toe. It's from a spread in Vogue Italia. Any questions? Many? Then you probably aren't a subscriber to Horny Hooves or Arch Arousal, and this probably isn't your bag. After the jump: Two more NSFW shots, including one of a topless Mendez beneath a glass serving tray that instantly calls to mind the Ira Isaacs obscenity trial soon to rock a 2 Girls 1 Cup-loving nation:

Harvard's Pennypacker Freshman Dorm is undergoing a scabies epidemic! Scabies—you might know it better as "mange"—is when tiny tick-like critters embed themselves in your skin and lay eggs and give you a terrible rash that you can easily spread to your friends and neighbors by, say, "sharing a bed." This weekend the disgusting little mites were found nesting in three students, so the administration rounded up all the hall's residents and handed out topical cream and demanded they shower for once. Of course there will still be weeks of itching and infestation, even after the treatment, but on the plus side the health office is maybe doing everyone's laundry for free.