NEW YORK - Wall Street is roundly rejecting news out of General Mills (GIS) indicating that it will roll out “Tiny Toast,” its first new cereal product in 15 years, later this month. The cereal bowl shockwave could have destabilizing effects throughout the global breakfast economy.

Every now and then Hollywood makes a difference that’s bigger than Leo before and after his Oscar. Apparently, the plot and popularity of the The Big Short—the critically-acclaimed Adam-McKay directed adaptation of Michael Lewis’s book—rattled some analysts at Morgan Stanley.

Paul Ryan—the lovable Republican, who cares in theory about poverty. Right? My friends, I’m afraid that the only thing Paul Ryan demonstrably cares about is breathtaking levels of pro-Wall Street doublespeak.

Predictions about financial markets are, almost without exception, notoriously wrong and worthless. With that caveat: we have our first respectable major DOOM prediction of 2016!

The people having the most success destroying the Wall Street elite these days are not bomb-throwing anarchists. They are buttoned-up investment types who are just less greedy.

The near-collapse of the global financial sector in 2008 was our periodic reminder that banks that are “too big to fail” are a threat to the public. Now, seven years later, some action is being taken.

In 2008, the global economy collapsed. But ever since bottoming out in 2009, we’ve been on a gangbusters recovery. Is it all going to come to an end soon? See for yourself.

After the biggest drop since the Great Recession on Monday, U.S. stocks today posted their biggest gain in four years, because the stock market is driven mainly by bullshit.

After all of the boisterous noise about rejecting austerity, Greece has finally agreed to the outlines of a bailout to address its debt crisis: more austerity. Its future is grim(mer). At times like this, it is useful to ask which side has the morality, and which has only the hazards.

A new survey of Wall Street professionals finds that “Nearly one in five respondents feel financial service professionals must sometimes engage in unethical or illegal activity to be successful in the current financial environment.” Even worse, four in five respondents are liars.

We were flabbergasted as well as flummoxed to learn recently that New York City’s pension funds have paid billions of dollars in fees to Wall Street money managers over the past decade. Is there, perhaps, a better way for public officials to manage your retirement money?

New rules proposed this week would require the world's biggest banks to hold more capital, in an effort to (begin trying to) put an end to the "Too Big to Fail" dynamic. If this doesn't work we can always smash them.

Marrying an investment banker is definitely a great thing. You get tons of money, for one, and you always get to see your husband. Also, he definitely isn't an insane and horrible human being who recklessly ravages his mind and body with drugs and alcohol to the point that he urinates and defecates all over your million-dollar homes.

CALPERS is America's largest pension fund, with $300 billion in assets. It just announced that it is pulling all of its money out of hedge funds. Why? Because everyone knows that hedge funds are a ripoff.

The volume of gray matter in one region of your brain predicts how much tolerance you have for financial risk. Our economy will always be ruined by big-headed people.

Hedge fund are organizations designed to take money from wealthy investors and—through sophisticated financial wizardry—use that money to enrich hedge fund managers. Shockingly, many professional investors believe hedge fund managers are overpaid.

Wall Street made itself more welcoming this week, as several top banks announced plans to raise the salaries of their lowest-level minions by about 20%. Will this be enough to make banking attractive to Ivy League pricks once again?

Michael Lewis's new book Flash Boys, about the inherent unfairness of high speed trading, is the talk of Wall Street and the financial media. The backlash to the book is a familiar refrain: "Everyone already knows that." Well, that's the point, isn't it?

Today in Iceland, every citizen of the country is entitled to claim 31.8 "Auroracoins," which are valued at just under $400 US.

The Great Recession of five years ago scared many Americans. Now that the Wall Street economy is booming again, many have rushed to warn against irrational exuberance. The common media practice of always staying one step ahead of conventional wisdom is now producing an Anti-Bubble Bubble.