MARKET CHAOS: GENERAL MILLS STOCK PLUMMETS ON "TINY TOAST" ANNOUNCEMENT
NEW YORK - Wall Street is roundly rejecting news out of General Mills (GIS) indicating that it will roll out “Tiny Toast,” its first new cereal product in 15 years, later this month. The cereal bowl shockwave could have destabilizing effects throughout the global breakfast economy.
General Mills stock has plunged roughly 30 cents today, indicating a general distrust of the “Tiny Toast” brand concept and a misestimation of whether American breakfast users have a strong desire for toast, especially in miniaturized form. According to MarketWatch, Tiny Toast “features crunchy toast pieces covered in small pieces of strawberries or blueberries,” and “is made with real fruit and other natural flavors.” It’s unclear how small the “small” pieces of strawberries and blueberries will be on said Tiny Toast morsels, or how well the “toast” units will maintain integrity while soaked in milk or other popular dairy alternatives. From the Gawker Media headquarters on 5th Avenue, disarray and despair sweeping the Financial District was palpable.