The week didn't end well for Goldman Sachs. Following news a criminal probe of the firm is now underway, shares of its stock plunged nearly 10% today, "which translates to a one-day loss in company value of $8.1 billion." [WaPo]

After realizing they look like huge assholes to everyone outside of the finance industry, GOP senators have decided to allow a debate on the financial regulation bill to begin today. "We owed the American people our best effort." [NYT]

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart made fun of today's Goldman Sachs hearings on Capitol Hill by taking shots at both the senators who questioned the company's executives and the Goldman employees in the hot seat. Video inside.

So, financial regulation. Let's try to talk about it for a second. Blanche Lincoln suddenly wants to ban banks from derivative trading, which is awesome, but who knows how the rest of this thing will shake out.

Here's a graph showing the beating Goldman Sachs stock took when it emerged today that their (allegedly) shady practices merited an SEC lawsuit. It's a good weekend to go out in New York, unharried by bankers.

The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a civil suit against Goldman Sachs for inventing and selling a housing investment that was, allegedly, devised to fail and make the bank lots of money. How can God's work be wrong? [NYT]

New Jersey governor Chris Christie didn't release his tax return yesterday. He says he filed for an extension, but he didn't release the extension form. What is he hiding? (Probably a delicious foot-long hoagie.) [Via, Pic: AP]

With the other Elevation Partners, singer Bono invested in Palm, an analyst dartboard; Yelp, a class-action magnet; and Forbes and Move.com, both financially bulldozed. He might be our "worst investor," but Bono's financial blues album should be a hit.

Over the past two years, more than a dozen Securities and Exchange employees and contractors have tried to view pornography on government computers at least 8,273 times. Here's what they were looking at while the global financial system cratered.

Google is hiring bond traders, according to a job listing discovered by Business Insider, casting in a new light CEO Eric Schmidt's recent disclosure that the company thought about trying to predict the stock market.

Remember that sweaty guy who helped lots of people make terrible decisions with their life savings before, and during, the financial crisis? Yeah. Well, he still does that. And now the SEC is investigating his website, TheStreet.com, over poor accounting.

Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein says he gets 75-100 pieces of hate mail a day.

On The Early Show, Senator Dodd applauds Harry Smith's recent televised colonoscopy, but he likens the feeling of having ones anus checked to passing the finance reform bill. The only difference being a colonoscopy usually accomplishes something.

On her show tonight, Suze Orman entertained a request from a woman who wanted to buy $1,400 headphones. Orman then went on a sweet/hilarious/awesome tangent about her love for Lady Gaga—love that's not reciprocated, apparently. Video inside.

Yesterday, the new Credit Card Accountability Responsibility and Disclosure act went into effect—but not without controversy. And tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart brilliantly laid out both what's wrong with American consumers and with credit card companies.

Want to express your displeasure with the way Goldman Sachs steamrolled Washington and profited at the expense of American taxpayers during the financial meltdown? Head to the Embassy Suites in the financial district tonight: "Goldman employees have all the rooms [booked] because they don't want to commute home in the weather and come back early." [BI]

So much for those rumors about Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein taking home a $100 million bonus. The firm just disclosed that Blankfein will collect a $9 million bonus in stock and no cash for his services in 2009, or roughly half as much as JPMorgan Chase chief Jamie Dimon. [NYT]

"JPMorgan Chase & Co. Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon, who led the second-biggest U.S. bank to a profit each quarter of the financial crisis, got a bonus package valued at $17 million for 2009 that didn't include any cash. The 53-year-old banker, who got a $27.8 million bonus for 2007 and only a $1 million salary for 2008, received restricted stock units and options and no cash bonus for last year, spokesman Joseph Evangelisti said. The valuation of his 2009 bonus was based on a JPMorgan regulatory filing today. "It's consistent with past pay practices and returns," said Alan Johnson, founder of New York-based Johnson Associates Inc. "You could argue that for him, personally, pay could have been higher, but this isn't the year for them to have done that." There's always next year! [BN]

Remember the banker that got busted for looking at racy photos on his computer because one of his colleagues was being interviewed on TV at the time? The woman he was looking at pictures of—Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr—has now stepped in and offered to sign a petition to help him try and save his job. [Herald Sun/NYP, previously]

Citigroup chief Vikram Pandit is blogging! Well, not exactly. But he does make an appearance on "The New Citi Blog," a site the bank launched earlier this week to try and convince the public—and Washington—that Citi has totally changed since the financial crisis unfolded and is now totally focused on making the world a better place: