Congratulations to this year's crop of hard-partying gays! The latest GHB-related death last weekend on Fire Island quickly follows on the heels of an "unprecedented number" of drug overdoses at the annual Pines Party on the last weekend in July, that big circuit party at which shirtless guys try to do just enough but not too much drugs (and, apparently, fail). Not noted in the report that follows from the president of the Fire Island medical offices—an unprecedented number of arrests of drug dealers at the party this year as well.

Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. Wanna hear something shocking? Summer's almost over already. OMG, and so are those hideous pants you're wearing!

Eavesdropping on the gays is the surest way to find out what products and people are hot and what are not. Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.

Perhaps you needn't skip out of work early—the LIRR Jamaica hub is going up in flames. It's probably just The Warriors v. the Gramercy Riffs. Still, maybe do not take the 1:39 to Montauk, Hamptons brats! And maybe not the 2:35 to Sayville, lazy Fire Island gays!

Eavesdropping on the gays is the surest way to find out what products and people are hot and what are not. Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.

Eavesdropping on the gays is the surest way to find out what products and people are hot and what are not. Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.

Eavesdropping on the gays is the surest way to find out what products and people are hot and what are not. Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.

• Above, Good Morning America Weathergay explains Crisco—uh, it's moisturizer!
  

From the "almost too easy" category comes this quote in the kicker of a Times piece on presence of E. coli bacteria in Fire Island's water mains:

You've heard about that Fire Island reality series they're currently casting, right? It's called Summer Share, it's being made by Real World auteurs Bunim/Murray productions, and producers are currently seeking eight people — presumably attractive, young, and at least one of whom is gay and one of whom is black and angry — to have "the opportunity of a lifetime to vacation in a magnificent beach house free of charge." The casting call currently circulating specifies that the show is for ABC, that applicants must be between 21 and 30, and they're looking for "[s]exy people with sexy jobs (models, media/publishing, ad execs, etc.) who work their asses off all week and want to unwind on the weekends." What we like best, though, is the attached questionnaire. Questions 18 through 21 are our favorites:

Brian Ellner, one of two openly gay democratic candidate for Manhattan borough president (the other being Margarita Lopez), hones in on his target by taking his campaign to Fire Island Boulevard. We'd like to see C. Virginia Fields get that close to the Meat Rack.