The practice of public relations can turn a holy man into a god damn dolt. We shine light into flackery's darkest corners every week in our PR Dummies column. This week: fighting Lord Ganesha's battles, poorly.

The public relations industry is, in general, an ongoing battle for attention between the calculating evil villains and the merely buffoonish clowns. We will do our part to expose awful PR practitioners in our weekly PR Dummies column. Let us give them the attention they want. Bad, bad attention.

Public relations is a field whose cravenness is superseded only by the ineptitude of many of its practitioners. We will do our part to mock, expose, and belittle deserving PR people in our weekly PR Dummies column. This is our second installment.

Public relations is a field populated by an overabundance of liars and morons. (Apologies to the honest, mentally facile minority.) Deadspin used to run a feature called PR Dummies, in which it urged that various PR people be fired, for being dumb. (Generally expressed through dumb press releases.) Our new editor, wistful for this feature, is reviving it here, now that he's out of the sports ghetto and into "the big leagues" of famous blogs. Without further ado: PR Dummies, of the past... day or so.

For years upon years, we here at Gawker have been bringing you stories of the sheer fuckery of incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian (pictured), head of 5WPR, the most shameless public relations firm in New York City. Here is a bit of news that we view with exceeding interest: Ronn Torossian is caught up in a federal investigation. A very serious one.

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR—the hilariously tasteless, unethical, and error-prone PR firm that's repped Tiger Woods girls and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis—is now in the family values business, according to a hot new press release:

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is primarily known for harassing employees and harassing journalists and giving poor advice and suing everyone over everything and representing odious clients and generally running a PR firm which is hilariously incompetent and unethical. Who better to teach you about PR?

Jaleel White stole America's heart in the 90s as the nerdy but loveable Steve Urkel on Family Matters. Ever since, as the holiday season rolls around each year, we ask ourselves: "Does Jaleel have any last minute holiday gift ideas?"

Brandlink Communications is a nationwide PR firm with a minimum of two employees who are astoundingly inept: the one who sent the blogger the stupid celebrity pitch, and the one who called her a "fucking bitch," without apology.

Keith Zakheim is the president of Beckerman PR, a multimillion-dollar public relations firm in New Jersey. Keith Zakheim is also a big fan of milk. Don't test him!

When you think "Things that I, as a taxpayer, want my tax money to pay for, in regards to my local water management district," you immediately think "propaganda masquerading as news." Because the important thing for a water district is good PR for the bureaucrats that run it. Water stuff? Later for that!

Once upon a time, Google was run like a playground; it was the sort of place where you'd get points for attending the Burning Man hippie drug fest. Under new CEO Larry Page, we're seeing a more ruthless Google — the sort of company perfect comfortable turning its business partners into creepy sock puppets today.

In London today, Amy Winehouse's family is holding her funeral. Here an America, Amy Winehouse is being decried by flacks.

Jack O'Dwyer is an old reporter who has been covering the PR industry in his own personal publication for about a million years now. He's generally seen as a cranky but tolerable fixture of the PR journalism scene.

Even in the deepest, most gloomy depths of the worst scandal of a lifetime, Rupert Murdoch cannot contain his fundamental not-giving-a-fuck-about-public-opinion nature. It permeates every level of News Corp, the company he made in his image. But it is possible—believe it or not!—for public opinion to overwhelm even the staunchest self-justification.

In your wacky Wednesday media column: the phone hacking fallout predicted, a financial bright spot at the NYT Co., Tina Brown's crazy cover fails, and HuffPo afflicts the British isles.

Star tech writer David Pogue has been publicly admonished by his editors at New York Times on ethics again, for charging flacks $159 each to learn how to get into his column. How many times must this happen, David?

Earlier this week we brought you Target's cheesy-yet-repugnant anti-union video, which is used to "train" new employees. Target has issued a (very muted!) statement that the video's no longer in use. That's not what we heard.

Traditionally, job titles at PR firms work like this: the lowliest slaves who are forced to cold-call angry reporters and write unread press releases all day are called "account executives," and everyone else is a "VP" of one sort or another, whether or not they are actually in charge of anything, or competent.

Philippe Reines (pictured, at left) is Hillary Clinton's longtime adviser/ flack/ purse-toter. He's an inveterate gossip-spreader, self-promoter, and berater of reporters on behalf of his boss. And he loves to be recognized for his work! So the fact that Reines is profiled in the Washington Post today is not a surprise. What is a surprise: after all these years, Reines still has no idea how to not come off like an asshole.