Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian: Just when you're trying to ignore him, his outbursts interrupt an ABC newsman trying to interview fraudulent faith healer Benny Hinn. Twice. Ronn is such an asshole he embarrasses Benny Hinn. Watch and be amazed.

In your overstuffed Wednesday media column: a PR man cheers Bloomberg's latest purchase, Calvin Trillin says crotchety things, the New Yorker hires(!) somebody, Brides loses advertisers, and the Washington Post poaches from HuffPo, for a change.

PR-man-masquerading-as-newspaper-columnist Mark Penn invented the term "Soccer Mom," which, of course, is the queen of all Microtrends. But now he's declaring the whole Soccer Mom thing dunzo! What catchphrase will you hang your hat on now, Señor Penn?

Ronn [sic] Torossian, PR man of unparalleled moral authority and paragon of ethical communications, has had enough of the lying. Btw, guess how many members of Ronn's listed "management" team are actually long gone from his firm? More than one.

A flack gives nine reasons "suck ups," "weenies" and "has-beens" leak to the media. Objective.

Steve Jobs and Apple famously dissembled about the CEO's health, until Jobs took a six-month medical leave. And what did Jobs do on his return? Issued a controversial statement about Google that the search company has now flatly contradicted.

Trendy flack Mark Penn promised the WSJ that his evil PR firm would stop using his newspaper column as a tool to troll for PR clients. Instead, he's just writing columns off of surveys by his own polling firm!

In your revenue-generating Tuesday media column: the BusinessWeek bidding draws to a close, Americans would pay only a pittance for newspaper websites, Peter Shankman's getting rich somehow, and the WaPo is determined not to write about dwarves.

Golden-hued flack Lizzie Grubman made a professional comeback after running people over with her car. ShamWow guy Vince Shlomi was arrested for beating a cannibal hooker. Now he's hired Lizzie Grubman to engineer his comeback. Perfect. Allow us to assist.

It's going to take more than six months medical leave to reform Steve Jobs. On his very first day back before the media, the Apple CEO apparently told a whopper to the New York Times.

In your mawkish Monday media column: Conde braces itself for the coming cutbacks, America hates the media more than ever, Anna Wintour has hated the media forever, as well, and Las Vegas is full of crooks.

Carol Bartz's CNBC appearance today was great P.R. — sharp and personable instead of defensive and sweary — but couldn't be good for morale back at the office. The Yahoo CEO kept talking about Yahoo fuckups.

Lo! Like a slow, squawking bird sent down from heaven to a desultory duck hunting expedition, Microtrend-inventing flack Mark Penn is back with another WSJ column. His first since we learned how dirty he is!

Microtrend-spotting genius Mark Penn hasn't had a new WSJ column since it was pointed out that he's using the column to recruit PR clients. (Which the WSJ doesn't care about!). Potential clients are waiting, Mark! What are you—chicken??

The best time to say "sorry" to your customers is when no one else will hear you say it. That seems to be the thinking at Google, Amazon and AT&T, which are all ready to grovel to you, today.

Oh shoot, fashion PR person Mallory Montilla was some sort of career criminal or possibly a kleptomaniac, if you believe the cops, at least. Or is she a sad victim of mean girls?

The NFL prohibited players from tweeting within 90 minutes of kickoff. The U.S. Open warned tennis players against posting "inside information." And Germany freaked out about election exit polls leaking on Twitter. Why all this fear of microblogging?

It's getting so you can't even trust PR people any more: Cops say that Mallory Montilla, a 24 year-old flack at Whisper PR in NYC, stole almost $100,000 worth of jewelry. From clients! The swag corrupted her mind!

Chairman Bill Gates famously cursed out Microsoft programmers. CEO Steve Ballmer screams and throws chairs. But online chief Qi Lu is as subtle as he is lethal, a corporate terminator who will hunt Google endlessly until it is dead.

Yesterday we reported that Microtrend-spouting flack Mark Penn's PR firm was using his Wall Street Journal column to drum up PR business. Penn is ethically compromised. But today, the WSJ tells us they're keeping Penn on as a columnist. Cowards.