• New York's Adam Platt visits Convivio and gives Michael White's kitchen three stars. [NYM]

As proven by the longevity of G4's spew opus Hurl! (eight weeks yesterday!), television has finally reached that crucial cultural point where America's taste for swampy gastric drama may yet outstrip its taste for... well, taste. To wit, even the Food Network — our Moms' favorite leisure-time destination — is ready to push its programming to levels of guttural extremity unseen since Iron Chef Sakai wore a necklace of calf intestines to a climactic tasting in 1999:

No matter how scandalous the situations that public figures find themselves in, it seems that there will always be some people willing to rise to their defense. Groups have sprung up to save the careers of both scandalized hooker patron/ Governor Eliot Spitzer, and disgraced former Food Network celebrity chef Robert Irvine, who was outed as a big fat liar and subsequently fired. Both those guys can use all the help they can get. Unfortunately for them, the types of people who form ad hoc online groups in support of fallen idols always seem to be non-influential nutcases (like Democrats!).

somewhat edited to make it appear more exciting. The Village Voice sneaks into a taping and finds out that while the show is only one hour on TV, the taping takes several hours more. And the people don't run around nearly as much in the actual studio—some chefs were even seen stacking up spices, instead of throwing them around wildly as they rushed to complete their gourmet dish in time to bring it over to the celebrity judges. Kind of funny, though: the network uses body doubles for iron chefs Bobby Flay and Mario Batali, on the days they won't be competing. Well, no use dragging Batali out of bed for nothing. When the Voice's Robert Sietsema sees dishes being replaced before they get to the judges, he is outraged; when he feels the wrong guy wins the competition, he is dismayed. If you take "Iron Chef" much too seriously, this is the investigative piece you've been waiting for [VV]. If not, just check out this judge on the show saying "penis:"

Where else would you go for the latest in orgasm reference than Details? Featuring almost as many male porn stars as their regular editorial sections, "Orgasm or Excellent Marinara?" challenges you to the tell the difference between various filmic petit morts and innocent ecstasy as experienced by Food Network hosts. In both cases, the ersatz enthusiasm is commendable. Thankfully, Mario Batali keeps his clothes on.