Last night was football night and magazine night in America! New York hosted both the National Magazine Awards and the first round of the NFL Draft. Which one was better? Which was more embarrassing? Which had Anna Wintour?

Diddy is the latest very rich person to think that buying an English football team is a quaint and charming idea. But his plan to buy London team Crystal Palace for $360m will lead to disaster. And here's why.

The Indianapolis Colts were favored to win yesterdays Super Bowl everywhere from Vegas to the White House. But one woman wasn't buying it: Lisa Johnson has enough experience with voodoo to know that the Saints were unbeatable.

Michael "Brownie" Brown likes the Colts on Sunday.

Douchebag Advertising genius Donny Deutsch says it didn't "make sense" for Mancrunch.com to try to buy a Super Bowl ad, because, come on, how many gays would be watching football? Eh? Castigat ridendo mores, Donny Deutsch. [Agency Spy]

At a town hall in Nashua, New Hampshire, Barack Obama said, of health care reform, "we've had to go into overtime, but now we're in the red zone." Oh man, we were at the 2 before. Now it's anywhere between goal and the 20? And is this regular season or post-season overtime? (Or college?)

Divine Florida Gators quarterback and bona-fide Christian soldier Tim Tebow has everyone riled up about his upcoming anti-abortion Super Bowl ad. The arguing's unnecessary. You're only hurting yourself, Timmy. America's not ready for a Jesus Freak Superstar.

Just when you think there isn't anything left for Chanel to stamp its brand on—maybe you'd be interested in buying a temporary tattoo for $75?—and Karl Lagerfeld comes through with another surprise. Yes, Chanel-branded footballs can now be purchased for $175. Don't forget to share the good news with all the fashion-forward football fanatics in your life! [FWD]

Future NFL bust Tim Tebow will appear in an anti-abortion Super Bowl ad.

Samoan boys are 56 times likelier to go to the NFL than American boys. Rather than making it into a story, 60 Minutes could have solved this mystery in two words: They're huge.

A song made famous by a 62-year-old American Idol auditioner too old to qualify for the show has reached the exuberant ass-slapping hands of the NFL's oldest quarterback. No, he does not grasp the irony.

We all know sports fans can get a little over-eager, and football fans are apparently no exception.

Hot on the heels of Flava Flav's recent bid for worst video of the year, LaDainian Tomlinson brings us this compellingly bad video. Worth watching for the backup dancers, who look like they were taken straight from the stadium drunk tank.

Did these guys learn anything from the Bradys? Lesson One: Don't play ball in the house. Lesson Two: Don't throw footballs at people's faces.

Earlier this week, we learned how Highest Paid Man on Wall Street Hugh "Skip" McGee III ignited a culture war over a prep school pep rally. Now, the aftermath: Kinkaid school email lists overfloweth and diversity is banned.

Remember when you played Madden with a friend and he went up to go pee? You'd sneak in a play while they were gone, and the player they controlled just stood there. Well this lineman's brain is your friend peeing.

Pop-warner is supposed to teach kids about sportsmanship, competitive spirit, and football fundamentals. Tell that to the kids who are alternating between giving other kids concussions and smoking on the sidelines.

These plays are so sneaky, so diabolical, so full of rooski, you're sure to be scratching you head in amazement saying "hey, wha happened?" Football happened, my friends. Football. To the trickery!

You are probably at this very moment attempting to communicate with family members you have almost nothing in common with. What do you do if it turns out Aunt Edwina is a birther?