We all know that former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani is a hard man to please. The guy has even denounced Beyoncé.

Mary Thorn is great friends with her pet alligator, Rambo. She loves Rambo and Rambo loves her. Don’t let the government take Rambo away from Mary!

On this day of all days, arguably the most important day of the year for both athletics and for #brands, we must not forget the ties that bind us: namely, the ties between the Denver Broncos’ quarterback, and the youngest Bush boy.

You may love your job. You may love your boss. But if your boss has a problem with you getting the money you deserve, then the friendly boss is not your friend.

Some ways to watch Friends, a classic situational comedy about white people, include: buying digital episodes for a couple of bucks each, purchasing them on physical DVDs for even less than that, or catching some of the many, many syndicated reruns available on network television for free. Or you could just pirate an episode and agree to pay Warner Bros. $20 in an automated settlement offer. Whatever. Up to you.

When Officer Jonathan Abrams pulled over a Long Island man for speeding in the HOV lane Friday morning, he ran into a slight problem: He asked both men in the car for ID, but one of them, being several pieces of wood stuck together, had none.

You ever have a bad dream where you're running down a long hallway away from the bad guys, but the hallway just keeps getting longer and longer and you know you're never gonna make it?

Jennifer Aniston, delightful secret genius, is promoting Horrible Bosses 2 at the same time that Lisa Kudrow is making her comeback in The Comeback. Jimmy Kimmel spotted a chance to get the two Friends back together (again) and have them sling the foulest curse words they could think of.

Jennifer Aniston's idea for a Friends reunion is a casual work of genius and should be the only option considered going forward.

Symbols fade with time. In 2008, when Barack Obama campaigned for the presidency, attempting to become the first black man to hold the the nation's highest office, his run was "historic" and "generations in the making." It was, by most accounts, a big win for the Democratic party, which had lost ground and political leverage during the Bush years. And though Obama endured a rocky first term, his run for re-election in 2012 was again seen as a sign of hope that America would continue to move forward.

Penn State junior Mary Krupa is, according to her peers and WJAC-TV, the "Squirrel Whisperer." Over the course of her college career, she's developed a deep and lasting relationship with Sneezy the Squirrel, who seems to not mind the fact that Krupa likes to dress her up and take pictures of her. Sneezy is chill. Sneezy also has 20,000 fans on Facebook.

Great! Now do it wearing all of Chandler's clothes!

Nearly a decade after Central Perk burned to the ground, trapping all of the Friends inside it, David Schwimmer continues to be the lamest character in everyone's lives.

There is good news and bad news here in post-racial America, the land in which nobody sees color, until it's time to shoot. The good news is that young people— who are The Future— are really embracing integration. The bad news? As usual, old white people.

When a jailed member of the controversial Russian punk band Pussy Riot decided to go on hunger strike to protest her incarceration proceedings, Sir Paul McCartney stepped in. He penned a hand-written letter to Russian authorities, demanding they release the two remaining jailed members of the wronged band.

Wholly unsubstantiated rumors of an impending Friends reunion slated for Thanksgiving 2014 made mild waves online last week.

The thing about reenacting a movie trope in real life, is that real life consequences will follow. Always. Because it's not a movie. Gravity, judgement, debt, concerned witnesses, police, repercussions all exist.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

A passenger heading to Kenya tried to save a few yuan by making his way through security at Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport while wearing every article of clothing he brought along for the trip.