It's Saturday, it's hitting 75 degrees in the Valley, and revelers have taken to the streets. Why the hell are you on the Internet?

Fighting server issues and fidgety comment accounts this week, Valleywag readers bravely soldiered on in the War to be Witty.

"How geeky are you," asks Newsweek, ruining a perfectly good cover story with an awkward quiz. Bad enough that half of it is desert-island questions; even worse that the "desert-island book" options don't include the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

There's a rumor of Google offering (again) to buy Friendster, but what could Google possibly gain from that? Plenty has changed since Google's first offer of $30 million. Five reasons that Friendster is a rotten piece of flipmeat.

Friendster picked up yet another round of funding from Kleiner Perkins, adding to the pile of cash that KP, Benchmark Capital, and Battery Ventures have sunk into the dying social site. No one funding Friendster wants to admit it, but Myspace and Facebook have demolished Friendster's chances of ever turning a profit. And if some conglomerate were foolish enough to buy it? At this point, there'd be so many investors to pay off that the founders will never see a dime.

It's a particularly bad day to be a stalker. Out of seemingly nowhere, old-school online network Friendster (which, much to our delight, still exists for those of us feeling too "old" for the hip kids on MySpace) has added a feature which allows members to see who has viewed their profile in the past month. So if you've looked up that hot chick in accounting, she's going to know it as soon as she logs on.

We have no idea if this is actually Adrian Grenier's Friendster, as we're told it is. We're sort of willing to believe it, for several reasons including that it dates back to well before the debut of Entourage. Real or not, though, we very much enjoy the "favorite books" section:

Douglas Faneuilthe stockbroker's assistant who ratted on Martha Stewarthas a Friendster page. His interests: "gay booty." Friendster, by the way, is some sooper-dooper West Coast networked dating thingamajig. I'm four degrees of separation away from Douglas, according to Friendster. Which is a relief. Any closer and I might share Martha's fate.
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