Goodnight, friends.

On Tuesday, our Father in Heaven once again demonstrated his passionate opinions about #brands, smiting a Delta 737 as it waited for takeoff at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson Airport.

It starts around 6:30 a.m—“incessant, almost guttural cooing,” according to Michael Kelly, a 33-year-old opera singer who lives on a usually quiet stretch of 100th Street on the Upper West Side. He’s battling jet lag after a trip to Europe, but every morning for the last couple of weeks, Kelly is wrenched from sleep not by a blaring car alarm or construction noise on the street below, but jackhammering of a different kind: pigeons fucking.

What did this Gainesville-area Wendy’s do to piss off God? Don’t know, but it must have been pretty bad, judging by the unmistakable “fuck you” our benevolent creator sent the restaurant this Sunday.

France: home of good cheese, strong wine, some other shit, and an advertising festival named Cannes Lions. Early Tuesday, two randy festival-attendees were overcome by their love of creativity, advertising, and their love for each other—some might call it joie de vivre—that they took to fucking on the red carpet in clear view of a late night rooftop bash above them.

Specifically, in the butt with your mom’s headless corpse on this goddamn lawn. Happy Father’s Day, everyone!

Do me a favor and think about how you feel right now. Sun’s out, guns’ out, you got your favorite loose cottons on. When you look around you, does something—perhaps someone—catch your eye? Are you feeling yourself on a more acute level than you’re usually feeling yourself? Is there a constant tingle in your nether regions? Was your friend who wasn’t hot all of a sudden very hot and appealing to you?

Here it is, straight from Brazil: the video that bravely asks the question, “For what have woman ?? Why pay for a whore ??? If you can just fuck your car !!! huahuahua is it yummy ??”

The Florida couple who last year had sex on a beach, went to sleep, and then had sex again, all while a grandmother filmed them, have been convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior, and each face up to 15 years in prison, the Miami Herald reports.

They didn't know each other's names, but on a sunny sidewalk in front of a prom-dress shop in Chula Vista, Calif., they knew each other's bodies. A man in a yellow hoodie and a woman in nothing but sensible shoes and a skirt were cited for public indecency on Friday after a witness recorded their afternoon fuck sesh and called the police.

A troubling bit of phone footage showing a man interrupting a couple while they fucked against a subway escalator has gone viral after someone uploaded it to LiveLeak. It would be one thing to disturb two adults in the midst of mad, passionate rutting, but the shocking reveal comes when the woman stands up, pants around her ankles, and we see ... a baby.

Three men were arrested by Spartanburg, South Carolina police early Sunday after their alleged "bubbly 1:30 AM frolicking" in a hot tub turned to fisticuffs.

The New Mexico Medical Board has suspended Dr. Christopher S. Driskill, calling the doctor "a clear and immediate danger to the public health and safety." The doctor is accused of frequently being drunk at work and having inappropriate relationships with patients, apparently once leaving a woman giving birth "unattended" while he had sex with another patient.

Springfield, Ore. police arrested a couple last Sunday having sex in their car, conveniently parked (and rocking) outside the jailhouse.

The bloodied, dead body of a porpoise was found in a Tarring, West Sussex alleyway a mile away from sea earlier this month. Scientists that examined the porpoise's body believe the poor guy died expending all his energy mating. Fucked himself dead.

Today's Staunton News Leader, a Gannett newspaper based in Virginia, came with a little surprise for the children. In a "Kid's Corner" sidebar buried in the weather section, the caption accompanying a Crayoned drawing included the word "fucking." As in: If you’re a fucking idiot, it can be fun to refer to your draft site as “the war room.” Wait, what?

The Upper Austrian village of Fucking is fucking sick and fucking tired of all the fucking jokes, so its 104 inhabitants (demonyn: Fuckingers) are getting together to mull a name change.

Rampant "dogging" at the Hog's Back "lay-by" (or, public fucking at a rest stop) near Puttenham, England has officially grossed out the locals. So the county council has proposed filling the field with cattle to keep people from boning there.

Too sensitive to listen to Mel Gibson's curse-strewn, rape-threatening phone rants? Too bored to read the transcripts? Try these visual aids, created by plugging his fights with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva into Wordle. The words he said most often are biggest.

Nutripro diet dog food puts things in terms that you pet-coddling, Snausage-tossing, pooch-fattening, smothering-with-love fat dog owners can understand: Your fat dog isn't fucking. And that's wrong. [Via Adfreak. Click to enlarge]