On Thursday, the Trump campaign announced that it raised $51 million in the last week of May and the month of June—$26 million for the campaign itself and $25 million for the RNC. While there is no reason to doubt, necessarily, the accuracy of these numbers—and they are obviously a vast improvement over the campaign’s abysmal $3.1 million May fundraising efforts—it is important to remember they do not represent anything close to a full accounting of the campaign’s financial health.

On Tuesday, the Trump campaign fired off an email with the provocative subject line “Have you heard about the Hillary indictment?” asking potential donors to help (figuratively) “indict Clinton” and “find her guilty of all charges” (i.e. not elect her president).

After dropping some $40 million of his own money on the Republican primaries—and making a very big deal about it—Donald Trump has realized he is going to need other people’s money if he’s going to be elected president. To help him get it, he’s named as national finance chairman his business associate Steven Mnuchin, a hedge fund manager with a history of donating to Democrats and exploiting the housing crisis for his own gain.

Last October, the Wall Street Journal popped the reputation of Theranos, a much buzzed-about biotech startup that claimed to have revolutionized blood testing. As it turned out, their claims were not true—they simply hadn’t done what they’d claimed they’d done. Now, the mildly disgraced firm’s CEO is stumping for the Clinton campaign.

Dinner for two and a photo with Barack Obama, all for only $32,400. RSVP now.

Fans of the mid-2000s series Veronica Mars are putting their money on the table to get their much beloved TV-show made into a movie. Donators broke records, raising a million dollars in four hours and 24 minutes. Total funds raised are $1,332,984, as of these words.

Frat bros do lots of things that upset us. They host "racist ragers." They butt-chug fine pinot grigio. They host barbecues on Locust Walk during finals when you're trying to study OH MY GOD TURN DOWN THE MUSIC.

Anyone on Barack Obama's mailing list knows that the campaign hasn't been shy about asking for donations — and for good reason. The President is in serious danger of being outspent by opponent Mitt Romney, and that could have serious consequences in the November election.

No dis-R-E-S-P-E-C-T intended, but Aretha Franklin needs to learn how to be cool at a party. TMZ is reporting that she was both the first guest to arrive at and the first to leave Sarah Jessica Parker's $40,000-a-head Barack Obama fundraising dinner Thursday night.

Jon Stewart gets a lot of emails from President Obama, as many people do, and he's kind of had it with them. As explained on tonight's Daily Show, everything is wrong with them and the overly friendly subject lines and the constant asking for money can snowball kind of quickly into something else entirely.

In just one month, Occupy Wall Street organizers have raised nearly $300,000 thanks to online and in-person donations. And that's in addition to the hundreds of millions of dollars that have been secretly donated by George Soros and Stalin's ghost.

Who would donate to the Barack Obama reelection campaign now, when everyone hates politics and life and he's not even in a difficult primary or anything? Apparently plenty of people would! He raised $42.8 million during the third quarter for his campaign committee, and another $27.3 million for the national party.

Good news for disenchanted liberals who are resting their last electoral hopes on the Massachusetts Senate campaign of consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren! She raised $3.15 million in her abbreviated third quarter, doubling Sen. Scott Brown's total.

Rick Perry raised $17.1 million in the third quarter, which is expected to be the finest haul of all candidates! Is there a way for him to purchase an end to his polling free fall? Oh, probably.

President Obama's not the only one desperately trying to raise last minute third quarter cash with transparent buddy-buddy gimmickry. Mitt Romney's also offering the opportunity of a lifetime: A chance to spend a day with him on the campaign trail! Can you even imagine having to spend an entire day with Mittens "Willard" Romney? Who's paying who here?

The third quarter fundraising deadline for presidential candidates is today, today's the day! If you are subscribed to President Obama's campaign email or text message alert lists, you're well aware of this, because you are constantly getting emails and text messages with cutesy variations of, "So how bout those dumb Republicans, eh? Want to have dinner? Give us money right now." Here's the official recorded history of this aggressive blitz, going back a couple of weeks.

Is it possible that Michele Bachmann's campaign has not been managing its money well? Word is she's in "dire" financial straits, and refuses to make fundraising calls. Everyone donate a couple grand to keep the funny going!

It's your lucky day, everyone: You have the opportunity to give Sarah Palin lots of money! And if you give her enough money she might just run for president. That's the deal. Do you, by any chance, feel like you might be getting played? Well stop feeling that way and hand over the fucking cash.

Here's just the latest sign that our campaign finance laws are healthy in every way the Founding Fathers could have imagined: A secret company that no one knows anything about has given Mitt Romney's SuperPAC $1 million and quickly dissolved into nothingness. The folks behind this fly-by-night operation are probably relaxing on a beach in Mexico by now! Oh man.

So, campaign finance! Perhaps in need of some constitutional reform, hmm? But for now, the rules of the game for presidential campaigns are that you call all of your rich friends and have them bundle donations from their rich friends, "sometimes" in exchange for access or favors for everyone in this elaborate network of rich friends. So who's on the just-released Obama bundler list?