The infamous Camp Cyprus 20 are trickling back home. And they feel fine. The twentysomethings of Camp Cyprus work at companies like Google, Facebook, and Blip.tv, all of which make a business of moving our lives online. They gathered at the Cyprus vacation home of Wall Street banker Bob Lessin, overlooking the wine-dark Mediterranean, at the invitation of his startup-founder son, Sam, for a vacation. And in this hyperconnected age, they must surely be aware that a lip-synching video they made of their trip was an Internet sensation, marking the end of an era. If they feel any shame for popping the Web 2.0 bubble, they are not blogging, Tumblring, Twittering, or FriendFeeding it. The only concession to embarrassment over the incident was making the video private — and of course, it promptly resurfaced on YouTube and elsewhere. Sam Lessin, in public, is a privacy freak; privacy is the sales pitch for his staggeringly unpopular blogging and file-sharing startup, Drop.io. But he invited a bunch of known oversharers — Facebookers Dave Morin and Meagan Marks, Google Maps marketer Brittany Bohnet, and the like — to his dad's vacation home, permitted the filming of the video, and starred in it himself. I doubt he cared very much that it became an Internet sensation. No, I suspect that this takedown had little to do with Web 2.0, and everything to do with Wall Street. Even before the mortgage bubble popped, launching the credit crisis, being showy with wealth just wasn't done in the circles Bob Lessin circulates in. Showing off your dad's sweet pad only seems like a good idea if you're a Harvard legacy in your early 20s. So is this the end of Web 2.0? Depends on what you mean by "Web 2.0." No one can quite agree. User-generated content? It's cheaper than the professionally generated kind; in recessionary times, it seems like it's here to stay. Likewise the fad for creating programmable interfaces for websites; getting coders to volunteer their time to make your product better sure sounds better than hiring them. No, the real test is whether this millennial generation will continue posting videos when they don't have splashy trips to celebrate. Will they continue updating friends with every change in their status, when the news isn't that they've gotten hired, launched a company, bought something expensive? When their buddies can't find work, when their startups run out of money, when they start leaving town en masse, what will they do? Promise to stay Facebook friends?

You can never escape the media! Valleywag's favorite hot-tech-company couple, Facebooker Dave Morin and Googler Brittany Bohnet, weren't vacationing in Cyprus alone. A whole group, "Campcyprus," attended the get-together in the Mediterranean island's Turkish-controlled sector. And who was in the in crowd? Wall Street Journal reporter Jessica Vascellaro, who covers Facebook and Google, and her startup-founder boyfriend, Drop.io CEO Sam Lessin, the son of ultrawealthy investment banker Bob Lessin. Sam, who's normally obsessed with privacy, posted this photo of the couple. So cute!And now I know why I got an out-of-office message from her when I complained about her nicking not one but two of my recent stories on Facebook for a Journal article! But I would have been more impressed with Vascellaro's honesty if she had said that she was going to Cyprus with "sources" rather than, as she Twittered, "buddies." Catch Vascellaro's cameo in Bohnet's latest video: Cyprus Lip Dub - Don't Stop Believing from Brittany Bohnet on Vimeo. (Photo by Sam Lessin)

In honor of Saturday Night Live alum Molly Shannon, whose poorly-received sitcom Kath & Kim premieres tonight on NBC, we thought it was time to pay tribute to the women who've made the biggest mark on SNL over the years. Whether it's Tina Fey, whose profile has surged since her Sarah Palin guest appearances, or an underrated player like Jan Hooks who shines in late-night SNL reruns, we have a soft spot for the women who've succeeded despite being greatly outnumbered in SNL's heavily male cast and writing room.Sadly, our list cut off at eight, so the valuable, deadpan Jane Curtain and the acidic Nora Dunn were among the SNL casualties. Other alumnae — like Sarah Silverman and Janeane Garofalo — have had career success despite their ignoble stints on the variety show, and were therefore left out. Enjoy the clip above, then make a passionate case for the ignored Julia Sweeney down below. [SNL]

Simply reinforcing our long-held theory that anyone who works in Hollywood—regardless of age, gender, or genitalia size—has at least one gay porn credit buried somewhere in their resumes, it's been brought to our attention that a boldface name in yesterday's Trade Roundup also got his start in this town's storied sausage factory circuit. Find out who after the jump:

The great hope of the Valley, the startup everyone thought was the next Google, the company whose IPO might restart the stock-market gold rush for everyone, is not well. Why? Look to its founder. Mark Zuckerberg is mismanaging his creation's transition to greatness. In Facebook's own parlance, the company's plight is "complicated." It will take in $300 million to $350 million in revenue this year, thanks in part to a lucrative ad deal with Microsoft. But its $15 billion valuation is premised on a far brighter future — a future that may never materialize. The biggest symptom of Facebook's ailment is the flight of technical talent. In the Valley, success attracts smart people, who attract other smart people. Yes, they're after money, too, but having brilliant coworkers counts for a lot. These great minds bond and form, yes, a sort of social network of their own. When they leave, the network frays, weakening the company's ability to attract new talent.That's why, for days before it was announced, top executives at Facebook desperately hid technical lead Dustin Moskovitz's plans to leave. They dithered as Mark Zuckerberg tried to persuade his cofounder and college roommate to stay, and others, led by COO Sheryl Sandberg, concocted a plan to spin his departure. That spin has now been dutifully printed in the pages of the Wall Street Journal: Facebook's changes are the "type of evolution you see among young growing companies and specifically young growing companies in Silicon Valley," company flack Larry Yu told the paper. Sandberg, who closely directs the company's PR, would have us think that the uproar that has taken place at the social network since her arrival is a healthy evolution. It is not. The internal politicking she has introduced to the company is destructive, and has sent many of the company's best and brightest fleeing. The list of the departed includes data guru Jeff Hammerbacher, product VP Matt Cohler, platform director Ben Ling, and most recently, Justin Rosenstein, a top engineer who's leaving with Moskovitz. Operations VP Jonathan Heiliger may be next. The defections all hurt. But most of the blame lies with Zuckerberg himself. Zuckerberg has always styled himself as the company's "founder," relegating the likes of Moskovitz and Chris Hughes, now Barack Obama's Web campaign director, to "cofounder" status. Never mind that this distinction doesn't exist in English; those who start a company are all equally founders. Zuckerberg clearly considers himself first among equals; he once referred to Moskovitz as "disposable" and a "soldier." The former Harvard roommates patched over those insults, and Zuckerberg said he will rely on Moskovitz's counsel even after his departure. If Moskovitz really thought he could guide Facebook's evolution, he would have stayed at the company, right? Zuckerberg has a history of churning through confidants. Napster cofounder Sean Parker helped establish Facebook in Silicon Valley as its president, only to be disappeared from the company. Former COO Owen Van Natta was in favor, then out. Sandberg had his ear for a while, but may be losing it. Lately, I hear he favors Christopher Cox, the twentysomething recent Stanford grad he recently tapped as the company's director of product. We'll see how long he stays by Zuckerberg's side. This fickleness may be predictable from a 24-year-old. But it's fundamentally bad for the company. Yahoo thrived, in its early days, on the partnership between CEO Tim Koogle and founders Jerry Yang and Dave Filo. Google's triumvirate of its cofounders and CEO Eric Schmidt improved on that management form; the troika lends the company some stability by making sure decisions at the top are never unilateral. Zuckerberg's insistence on the "founder" title suggests that he always planned to rule the company alone. It's a bad plan. His instincts on what kind of website will attract a 100 million users have been spot-on. But he has no business sense. At one point during the Facebook redesign process, he suggested getting rid of advertising altogether, having grown disillusioned with both old-style banner ads and the company's experiments with targeting ads to users' behavior. Will Zuck ever find an equal partner, a sounding board who can help him turn Facebook into the large, ongoing concern he envisions? Dustin Moskovitz may not have been the right person. Nor, it seems, is Sheryl Sandberg. Yet to staunch the bleeding of Facebook's technical talent, Zuckerberg will have to find someone to ground him — someone for whom he has enduring respect, who can moderate his worst impulses. Without it, there will be one word describing what's going to happen to Facebook: "founder."

It's the rumor that's been burning up the internet for the last few days: in an upcoming issue of Esquire, actress Anne Hathaway will open up about her love of anal sex. After describing it as one of the most sensual things she's ever done and something that makes her feel "feminine in a very special way," the actress supposedly says, "Every woman should try it, otherwise they miss out on something amazing." While Hathaway has played her fair share of sexually provocative roles in films like Havoc and Brokeback Mountain, we were skeptical of her newfound candor; nevertheless, the rumor has only built up steam over the last few days (it was spread by Gawker, LA Rag Mag, and thousands of other sites). Emboldened by our investigation into Megan Fox's own magazine confessions, we knew we had to find out: are these Hathaway quotes for real, and if not, where did they come from?Our first instinct was to disbelieve the story; after all, virtually every profile we've ever read of Hathaway mentions how carefully and professionally she answers questions, concerned that her quotes will be taken out of context. Had Hathaway been emboldened after her split with boyfriend Raffaello Follieri, or was someone putting naughty words in her mouth? Turns out, it's the latter. We contacted Esquire for comment, and spokesperson Rhett Usry was shocked by the rumor. "Absolutely not true," he told us. "There is no interview with Anne Hathaway at all in the upcoming issue of Esquire." So where did the story originate? All signs point to this September 12 posting on Celeb.Dump, a photo-laden blog promising "Sexy Celebrity Pictures With Little To No Bullshit" (and headlines like "Stacy Keibler is so very hot" and "Jessica Simpson touching herself"). "Thanks to Miss M. from Esquire for letting me know" about the rumor, said the poster (who declined our repeated requests to comment on his tip). As for how this obscure bit of gossip hit the big time, we're betting it's due to a potent mix of wishful thinking, Hathaway's Rachel Getting Married press tour, and lingering conflation of the actress with Brokeback Mountain. Either that, or Follieri's got an axe to grind. Memo to Celeb.Dump: if your "source" claims to be Esquire's liaison to the Vatican, it may be time to place some calls. [Photo Credit: AP]

As connoisseurs of Hollywood and its related spiritual practices, we at Defamer would expect you to be familiar with the traditions of American Jewry, so here's a pop quiz: is Rosh Hashanah a multi-day event commemorating the start of the Jewish New Year, meant to celebrate the creation of the world? Or is it what this DreamWorks assistant thinks it is? Her leaked email (embarrassing goyem all over the industry), after the jump:

After months of open canoodling with celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan has stopped playing coy about whether the two of them are in a relationship, finally confirming the news on (of all places) last night's episode of the radio show Loveline. And she wasn't even prompted by the harsh interrogation techniques of Dr. Drew, either! No, Lohan — who had the phone passed to her after Ronson called in to discuss her hospitalized friend DJ AM — was caught flat-footed after an innocent question by Dr. Drew's cohost, Stryker.Asked, "You and Samantha have been going out for how long now?" Lohan giggled and demurred, but Stryker pressed on. "Like two years?" he asked. "One year? Five months? Two months?" Finally, Lohan allowed, "A very long time." The MySpace pundit then accepted compliments on her relationship, eventually signing off in a bit of Italian that stumps the hosts (is that how lesbians talk?). Our congratulations go out to the newly confirmed couple. Stryker, you'd better prepare for tonight's inevitable Michael Lohan call-in. [Loveline]

Sunday greetings from Defamer HQ, where television's! Biggest! Night! has us shaking off our hangovers for live coverage of the 60th annual Emmy Awards. That's right — we're doing this live, bypassing that silly West Coast tape delay for the straight dirt as it happens on the red carpet, inside the Nokia Theater and wherever else history and fools are being made on this historic evening. You know the subplots to watch for over the long night ahead, so read along and join the party. And heads up: Spoilers (and a few advance clips) follow for anyone who can't bear to know Heidi Klum's hosting benchmarks or how much ass Mad Men is kicking before watching for themselves in primetime. That said, we've already filled you in this year's heroes in comedy and drama; what more is there to know? After the jump, join us on the express elevator into the heart of Emmy hell!10:56 We've never been happier to see Tom Selleck; he's presenting Outstanding Drama to... MAD MEN. Our thoughts exactly! Not a bad way to go out, and not a minute too soon — we're Emmyed out, we think. Thanks for joining us — where's the bar? 10:54 Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White present 30 ROCK with the Outstanding Comedy Emmy. 10:45 Kimmel cuts to commercial before revealing the Best Reality Host award-winner. Clever! We'll take advantage of it: The Yankees are up 5-3 in the sixth inning of the final game at Yankee Stadium. And ... they're back, and the world seems a little lesser place knowing JEFF PROBST is an Emmy winner. 10:37 Look what Rickles hath wrought: Now Kiefer's not even allowed to walk to the podium out of a commercial break; he just materializes Kieferishly to present Best Actor in a drama... who is... BRYAN CRANSTON for Breaking Bad? What? We'll have to come back to this; Craig Ferguson and Brooke Shields are sprinting on to present Best Actress in a comedy... who is... TINA FEY for 30 Rock. Bryan Cranston. Huh. 10:32 This In Memoriam montage is kind of bracing. Charlton Heston, Isaac Hayes, Sydney Pollack... and George Carlin apparently died twice. 10:26 Candice Bergen hands off Best actor in a comedy to ALEC BALDWIN for 30 Rock. Gahhhh! We can't keep up! America Ferrara and Vanessa Williams come out to present Best Actress in a drama... who is... GLENN CLOSE for Damages. 10:23 Glenn Close is just so... classy. She should be hosting! Anyway, she presents Best Actor in a movie or miniseries... who is... PAUL GIAMATTI for John Adams. 10:15 Greg Yaitanes just won an Emmy for directing House. House has directors? Who knew? And Matt Weiner won the dramatic writing prize for Mad Man. Naturally. 10:09 Don Rickles encore! He wins best performance in a variety/music show, telling most of the same jokes he told in Mr. Warmth — the documentary/concert film he just won for. And the circle is complete. 10:01 John Adams wins Best Miniseries. Producer Tom Hanks gets to show off his Da Vinci sequel coiffure; it's good to see the Vatican hasn't gotten him yet. 9:59 Kathy Griffin joins Don Rickles to present, standing ovation ensues. Rickles is killing: "Let's read these funny lines they wrote for us! ... Hey folks, this crap got me no place, I'll tell you that right now." The show resumes, with The Amazing Race nabbing Best Reality Competition. Rickles cuts the producer off and drags him offstage. Sigh. More like this, please. 9:50 We need an intermission! Can we interest anybody in any air sex? 9:45 "This dried up prune has the experience we need!" Even Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are on fumes presenting Best Director for a miniseries or movie... who is... JAY ROACH for Recount. He thanks his wife, ex-Bangle Susanna Hoffs, which promptly gets him thrown off stage. Best writing, meanwhile, goes to John Adams. 9:42 The Emmys has now regressed to CSI's changing of the guard: Laurence Fishburne picks up the keys from Bill Petersen while presenting Supporting Actor for miniseries or movie... who is... for Recount. 9:35 Christian Slater and Christina Applegate present Best Made for TV movie... which is... Recount. 9:31 That whole Piven host-bashing acceptance speech an hour ago got worse backstage, we hear: ""I thought we were being punk'd. [...] I was confused. [In the room] it was like in The Producers when they do Springtime for Hitler. There's a, 'What was actually happening right now?' There was a great line about Sarah Palin that landed. But it was confusing. From Lucille Ball on, television has been so entertaining. And this was a celebration of nothingness so it was confusing." 9:21 Lauren Conrad is presenting an Emmy. With David Boreanaz. On the bright side (as if it gets darker) TINA FEY comes out of it with the Outstanding Comedy Writing award for 30 Rock. 9:15 The most brutal part of this Laugh-In number is that it may very well have imploded its legacy among any viewers who hadn't seen it before. It's appallingly unfunny and beyond depressing. The whole thing leads into the Outstanding Comedy or Variety show... which is... THE DAILY SHOW. Suck it, Colbert. 9:07 Alec Baldwin fails to plug his book while presenting Lead Actress in a miniseries or movie... who is... LAURA LINNEY for John Adams. 9:03 After a start that had us tying a noose, we admit that Josh Groban's opening-theme lightning round is kind of weirdly riveting. He had us at South Park. 8:52 Giving Tommy Smothers a 40-years belated Emmy for writing on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, Steve Martin drops "perspicacious, multifarious and placatory" and about 90 percent of the viewing audience in a 10-second burst. Smothers himself loses the rest. But we're back now! 8:48 Jennifer Love-Hewitt and Hayden Panitierre present Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Program to... THE COLBERT REPORT. Shocker! Jon Stewart gets thanked but looks like he's caught on camera reaching for his flask. 8:43 Conan O'Brien: "I would have had better stuff tonight but Katherine Heigl wrote my material." Zing! Then he presents Supporting Actress in a drama ... who is... DIANNE WEIST. 8:36 Ricky Gervais busts Steve Carell's balls in the best bit of the night. Careful, Ricky — Ryan says they're enlarged! And for what it's worth, Louis Horivtz — yes, the Louis Horvitz — won the variety-show directing prize for this year's Oscars. 8:33 Wait — Jackée Harry won an Emmy? These montages are great. 8:26 The ladies of Desperate Housewives present Supporting Actor in a drama ... who is... ZELJKO IVANEK. We missed it, but more importantly: Did Eva Longoria know she'd only get literally six words in? She's a team player after all! 8:18 Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who is wearing a dress made of salmon scales, presents Supporting Actress in a comedy ... who is... JEAN SMART. 2 for 2. 8:11 Tina Fey and Amy Poehler present Supporting Actor in a comedy... who is... JEREMY PIVEN. Naturally he takes his bombed joke out on the hosts: "Thanks to the 11 of you who laughed. What If I just talked for 12 minutes. That would be the opening!" Really, Pivs, you can go the Heigl route any time now. PS: Defamer Emmy predictions are 1 for 1. 8:05 Jeff Probst: "We have absolutely nothing for you." And really, they don't. So who do they turn to? Who else: Bill Shatner. And we guarantee that was the first and last time he'll ever tear off a supermodel's clothes. 8:00 Are we the only ones who don't get the opening monta— OMGZ OPRAH!! 7:53 Aw! Christina Applegate is on hand, looking great and sounding great. That is all. 7:43 Kimmel's ABC special has an OK faux-interview with Salma Hayek, but the real action is back at the Twilight Zone of E!, where Giuliana Rancic points out that Bryan Cranston is the only actor to play both a crystal meth dealer and Frankie Muniz's father. 7:28 Lackluster as Tina Fey's Seacrest interlude was earlier, she's still got a highlight from the E! broadcast. Remember the timeshare Martin Scorsese pushed on her in that American Express spot a while back? Finally, the details! 7:19 Jeremy Piven finally showed up — no date(s) apparently, his Mom is "over it." Aren't. We. All. 7:15 Now here's some news: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were held up in a bomb scare. Ever the professional, Seacrest segues effortlessly into Housewives' five-year plot jump. Did we mention this award is his to lose? 7:05 "We're joined by the cast of Entourage..." But where is the Piv? Picking up his date(s)? Developing... 6:51 Breaking! Britney Spears wanted to come back to How I Met Your Mother when Sarah Chalke's storyline was reintroduced. Not so fast, alas — the producers will have to get back to her about that. 6:47 Are Seacrest and Steve Carell bonding over enlarged balls? They are! Is it 8 yet? 6:43 More breaking development news! Marcia Cross confirms there will be no Melrose Place revival. 6:39 How the other half lives: On TV Guide Channel, Lisa Rinna has back-to-back interviews with Tony Shalhoub and Zeljko Ivanek intercut with arrivals footage of... Phylicia Rashad. 6:32 That Tracy Morgan interview was the most boring 90 seconds of his career. 6:22 Jenna Fischer looks great, and now she's saying there's no Office spin-off at all — i.e. "cannibalizing the granddady," as Seacrest says. Not that, either, Fischer says. 6:14 Emmy ParentWatch continues! Seacrest shoves aside a weak Kathy Griffin for Rainn Wilson, who brings up his own old man for a chat. After the troubling disclosure about some Wilson/Jason Reitman reunion called Bonzai Shadowhands ("I play a drunk, down-and-out ninja"), a more scintillating update reveals they're holding off a year for the Office spin-off. And three weddings this year. Huh. 6:07 Because the world needs another Sandra Oh interview like it needs another Fey/Palin comparison, Seacrest brought her parents in for the Q&A — Mr. and Mrs. Oh from Ottawa. Fun fact: Her mother is a scientist! 6:00 OMG!!!! Finally — Seacrest, Klum, Bergeron, Mandel, and Probst, all together at once on E! This truly is the impossible dream, and Probst is going tie-less. Slob. Kiss the Best Reality TV Host prize goodbye.

By email, by telephone and by cable television comes a consistent message for Gawker: We should all be woken in the middle of the night, hauled off to jail, and locked away maybe forever for publishing some of Sarah Palin's emails, including her daughter Bristol's phone number and husband's previously-known email address. Some people would also like us shot, because God only knows the terrible things that can be done to someone with email addresses and phone numbers. Bizarrely, the only person who disagreed with our legal culpability was a Scientologist, because despite the many negative things we've written about that "church" the law is apparently clear: "Gawker's fine," Fox News's Greta Van Susteren said. Click the video icon to watch the TV coverage; some emails and a voice mail we "liberal Jews" received is after the jump.

Remember those awful Microsoft ads with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates? Well, now you can forget them. Microsoft flacks are desperately dialing reporters to spin them about "phase two" of the ad campaign — a phase, due to be announced tomorrow, which will drop the aging comic altogether. Microsoft's version of the story: Redmond had always planned to drop Seinfeld. The awkward reality: The ads only reminded us how out of touch with consumers Microsoft is — and that Bill Gates's company has millions of dollars to waste on hiring a has-been funnyman to keep him company. Update: In a phone call, Waggener Edstrom flack Frank Shaw confirms that Microsoft is not going on with Seinfeld, and echoes his underlings' spin that the move was planned. There is the "potential to do other things" with Seinfeld, which Shaw says is still "possible." He adds: "People would have been happier if everyone loved the ads, but this was not unexpected." Update: CPB confirms that Seinfeld spots already in the can will not be aired.

Affable, always-reasonable blogger Michelle Malkin is upset that we published the emails of Sarah Palin, featuring the phone number of Bristol Palin and the already available email address of her husband Todd. We are a "cesspool blog," and also "lowlifes," and also part of a "smear machine," and also we have commited identity theft (!), and last but not least we are "by-any-means-necessary lunatics." Also: "Bastards. Bastards all." Anyways. Back in 2006 Michelle Malkin posted the phone numbers of some college kids planning to protest Ann Coulter. The kids—who were neither running for office nor inserted at the last minute to the great buffet table of family values on display at the nationally televised Republican National Convention—received death threats! Malkin refused to take those phone numbers down! When they complained, Malkin reposted their numbers! Ha! Also, of course, Malkin thinks we should've kept all the Japanese-Americans in WWII locked up in internment camps forever and ever, but hey. Outrage-off! Cesspool Blog! Bastards all!!! [Photo-illustration (c) back when people gave a shit about Michelle Malkin.]

From the complaint department re: Alex Balk:

Google's the undisputed king of Silicon Valley — but it's been wooing New York ad agencies nonstop, trying to break into the traditional part of the business, with mixed success. It's almost cute how all of its online rivals are following it. Amazon.com has hired a Microsoft ad sales exec, Lisa Utzschneider, as SVP of national ad sales. What, you thought Amazon sold books, not ads? Exactly the problem Utzschneider's being asked to solve: Amazon has been trying to sell ads for a long time, but they remain a small fraction of the retailer's revenue. A Madison Avenue agency executive tells us her hire is just the latest part in a methodical campaign by Jeff Bezos & Co. to beef up of its New York ad sales staff over the last four months.At Microsoft, Utzschneider managed search sales. The Peace Corps veteran also did a lot of charity work — a description which seems to fit Amazon's advertising efforts at present. Amazon already has products to sell: Clickriver, a self-service sales system like Google's AdWords, and Amazon Product Ads, an ad network like Google's AdSense. It's also trying to sell more ads directly on Amazon.com and IMDB.com. "Amazon has a huge audience that is undermonetized," Greg Smith, COO of interactive agency NeoAtOgilvy, tells us. A second source says, "This move isn't surprising, based on those efforts, because they have a long way to go if they want to evolve into a media company." Memo to Utzschneider: Bring more than just candy.

Google helped pay for this weekend's launch of a satellite which will take high-resolution imagery for its Google Earth service, and founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin were on hand to watch the rocket lift off at Vandenberg Air Force Base. Serious business, right? Not when you see our spy photos of the billionaires. Brin wore bright orange Crocs and Page wore a red windbreaker. More tellingly, Brin brought Anne Wojcicki, his pregnant wife, and Page brought his wife Lucy. Both women also dressed informally. Wojcicki carried a plastic water bottle — funny, I thought Larry and Sergey had gotten rid of those at the Googleplex. It all looked like a lark for the billionaire couples, rather than a visit to a high-security military installation — paid for by Google's shareholders and U.S. taxpayers. At least Larry and Sergey seem to have flown their on their own dime — the photos show a Gulfstream V, one of the models in the Googlers' fleet of party planes. Admit it, you all wish you were Larry and Sergey, Crocs and all.

The photos:

Greetings, Defamer readers! We have something special in store for you today, as the MTV Video Music Awards—the most prestigious of all awards shows celebrating achievement in a medium that peaked when fax machines still seemed cutting-edge—are coming to you from the heart of Hollywood, at Paramount Studios. A plate of Mexican food was all it took to get a homeless man to let us use his body as a human stepladder and hop the gate, giving Defamer editor Seth Abramovitch and associate editor Kyle Buchanan access to the Russell Brandiest musical extravaganza this side of Western Ave! We're not sure what to expect today, or whether any of this might be of interest to you, but for what it's worth, we're already having a ball. We followed a small mob of Christina Aguilera's accountants/background dancers into the actual soundstage, and have been watching the dress rehearsal. So much drama! Miley Cyrus has no power in her dressing room! Her hair people are flipping out! And Lil' Wayne is trapped in a bus at the gate! While we now see how long it takes for it to get back to security that we're actually inside, we'll leave you with the first of what is sure to be many exciting exclusives: An interview with Brand's troubled VMA promo spots co-star. Not Britney, but Tai the Elephant. Our exclusive interview (must credit Defamer) is after the jump, along with the rest of the live blog. What are you waiting for? Check it out!8:12 Kanye closed it out, backed by The Mysterious Drumming Monks of Burbank. Man, what a night. We're going home to celebrate our technical virginity. We dedicate it to Britney Spears! Good night, everyone! See you tomorrow. 8:07 A third trophy for Britney, the Original Purity Ring-Wearing, Intact-Hymen-Flouting Pop Queen! She's now being whisked off in a golf cart with the host to do lines with Tai the Elephant in the V.I.E. section. (Watch out for that Tai—she's a real hoover.) 8:06 Kobes presents VIDEO OF THE YEAR. This is the first time we've actually paid attention to any of the nominees, and you know what? These videos suck. 7:55 There really is a sad irony in having Russell Brand—the most gleefully filthy-minded comic to come along in some time—host the most Jesusy, virginy, Purity Ringy-y VMAs like, ever. We're sure this says Something About America, but we'll wait until Levi Johnston (who's so hardcore—he tattooed his Purity Ring on, bitches) comes on as a surprise presenter to close the show. The tweens will go wild! 7:49 So much for the 2008 MTV Britney Meltdown Awards! She just picked up BEST POP VIDEO, forcing her back on stage for more ratings-friendly face-time. This is the most spectacularly uneventful Triumphant Comeback in history. We're crying glitter. 7:47 There is palpable, seething hatred for Paris Hilton in the room right now. 7:40 "Tokio Hotel [ˈtoːkio hoˈtɛl] is a German band founded in Magdeburg, Germany in 2001 by guitarist Tom Kaulitz, singer Bill Kaulitz, drummer Gustav Schäfer, and bassist Georg Listing." Ah—thanks, Wikipedia. 7:38 Yikes, Russell Brand is losing his voice. The audience, he lost about an hour-and-a-half ago. We really do like Brand, though, so we guide you back now to his legitimately funny interview with us from a few weeks back. It's almost over, Russell. 7:35 It's the Christina Aguilera accountants/background dancers again! Hi, guys! Remember us? From before? When we snuck in behind you into the dress rehearsal? No? OK, nevermind. By the way, we were just told the Fire Marshall shut down the ENTIRE SOUND STAGE. Mark Burnett was pleading with them for 20 minutes trying to get back inside. Seriously, we've never seen chaos like what we witnessed on our way inside here. 7:33 Zac Efron just threw his Purity Ring into the audience. A hysterical teen instantly jumped on it, then ran out of the studio, screaming, "I finally have a legitimate reason to pierce my labia!" 7:29 Rhianna just performed her new duet with T.I. This single doesn't rape Soft Cell, it rapes...the viral video kid who sings the "Numa Numa" song? 7:22 Jordin Sparks just threw down for Purity Ring wearers throughout the world. Or rather, in America. Stupid shit like Purity Rings could only exist here. 7:21 BEST HIP HOP VIDEO winner Lil Wayne just thanked three things: "Family, God, and Y'all," at which point the man wearing a yarmulke next to us clapped enthusiastically, wooed, and shouted back, "Tha's right! We here!" For what it's worth. 7:19 Ah, Slipknot. That's a little more like it—we remember feeling too old for this shit watching them take the stage back in the late '90s. Glad to see they're still committed to the mask shtick. We knew that would come back in style eventually! And we believe we've just been McLovin'd. 7:11 Pink's pleather leotard (pleathertard? No, that's Pam Anderson) has all the Gays in blog row moist in the panties. Oh, and a straight photographer from Reuters—for what's it's worth, Pinks. 7:07 Miley Cyrus was just caught getting busy with the bassist from Rock Band. For heaven's sake—he's not even in a real band, Miley. He's a video game bassist. Can't you ever show some self-restraint? 7:04 Ah yes, Slash and Shia LaBeouf, side by side, where they truly belong. We think this makes Shia's first public appearance since..the incident...and all we want is to see his pinkie. There it is! We love you and we're here for you, Shia's Pinkie. Oh, and Linkin Park won BEST ROCK VIDEO. 6:59 Commercial-time topic for discussion: Notice how the 25th Annual VMAs seem incredibly reluctant to admit to their own age? Face it, MTV: You old. 6:55 Live! From the Whiskey A Go Go! It's Paramore! Ha ha! Tricked you! They're right here, on a set cleverly designed to look like the Whiskey A Go Go. Also—forgive our old-fartiness, but who's Paramore? 6:53 We're not sure if Russell Brand is talking too quickly for us, or too esoterically, but some brain just dribbled out of our left nostril and onto our laptop. 6:45 We now take this boring Pussycat Dolls acceptance speech moment to offer you a video delight: Seth Green and Clark Duke from Greek and Sex Drive delivering a friendly shout-out to you, the Defamer reader! (We apologize in advance if the audio is lousy. We were fighting noise pollution from the Rock Band stage, hovering helicopters, and whatever was coming out of a nearby Joe Francis's mouth at the time.) Click to view 6:41 Russell Brand just delivered a breathless monologue as if he was late for a flight to a country that knows who he is. Lindsay Lohan just announced she's the new lead singer for AC/DC? We think? Yeah we definitely have a touch of sunstroke. 6:40 Lil' Wayne has the room on its feet. He's even lil'er in person! 6:37 Michael Phelps just got a standing ovation, then crapped the pool with a mumbled introduction. We'll assume it had something to do with Leona Lewis, as she is now performing. Behold, ladies and gentleman: what Simon Cowell would look like if he could come back to earth as a woman. 6:30 We thought Katy Perry was doing a fairly straightforward version of "Like A Virgin" by the TravAm BarkDJis pit, until she fooled us all and replaced the word "virgin" with "Jonas." Because they're all virgins, you see. We can't wait to see what she does with her cover of the Divinyls "I Touch Miley Self!" (Groan.) Oh well, we got "I Kissed A Girl" instead. This is jam of the summer! High five! 6:28 So THAT'S what those mobs of tweens were doing in the lot. Run, Jonas brothers, run! They'll tear you to shreds and consume you alive! 6:26 Apparently the Jonas Brothers are performing live from the set of 227. Jackee just sauntered by and pinched Nick's cheek. Aww... 6:24 Chris Brown gives a short and sweet acceptance speech; he seems genuinely surprised that Mrs. Jefferson didn't win instead. 6:22 Back from commercial and it's a surprise appearance by the world's premiere Cougar Temptress Queen, Demi Moore, growling out the nominees for BEST...uh...SOMETHING INVOLVING MALE R&B SINGERS. Oh, it's BEST MALE. 6:13 So we're finally in our seats, and apparently we've missed Britney Spears's, much-hyped, four-second appearance. BUT WAIT! She just won BEST FEMALE VIDEO, looking sparkly in a short gown custom designed by Giovanni di Sparkly. Forgive our tardiness, it's truly a madhouse on the lot the likes of which we have never seen in our lives. Lines leading seemingly nowhere, security who have no idea what event they're covering, and the random cater waiter carrying a tray of champagne. We think we just got sunstroke on the red carpet (though we met Sumner Redstone!). Back in a moment after we get our bearings. Click to view

While we found yesterday's 8,000 word New Yorker profile of Alec Baldwin to be an engrossing (if entirely too long) read, we were able to find one person who was less than impressed by Baldwin's long-winded rants about the perils of being impossibly rich and famous: My Name Is Earl creator/executive producer Greg Garcia. In the piece, not only did Baldwin blast the suits who run NBC's programming and promo departments for "wring(ing) the last drops" out of Thursday night comedy staples like Earl and Scrubs while 30 Rock is treated like a "red-headed stepchild", he also indirectly criticized the quality of said shows by labeling both as "done" and "cooked." Naturally, this irked Garcia, who spoke exclusively with Defamer this morning about his thoughts on his show's performance, 30 Rock's ratings and, of course, Baldwin himself:

Google's food cutbacks are more targeted than we'd first heard. Dinner will still be served in buildings which house engineers, according to a former Google chef who's made his own inquiries about the changes at the Googleplex cafeterias. Google's only eliminating the evening meal in cafes frequented by nontechnical employees. Somehow, this strikes us as worse for morale. If there were any doubt that Google's non-engineers were second-class citizens, consider it erased. No comp-sci degree? No dinner for you. (Photo by brettlider)

There's no such thing as a free dinner. A worker at Google tells us the company is taking evening meals off the menu: "Google has drastically cut back their budget on the culinary program. How is it affecting campus? No more dinner. No more tea trolley. No more snack attack in the afternoon." The changes will be announced to Googlers on Monday. Workers at the Googleplex will remain amply fed, with free breakfast and lunch — dinner will be reserved for geeks only — but it's still a shocking cutback.Last year, when we aired the mildest speculation about Google cutting back on free food, commenters were outraged. Google has long milked its cafeterias for their publicity value; company executives have crowed about the company's resistance to recessions and its commitment to coddling its employees. Founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin even promised shareholders they'd add perks, rather than cut them. In 2004, they wrote:

Well, this weekend. My brother's getting married and we're having the inevitable Atlantic City bachelor party thing tomorrow through Sunday. So your old friends Richard Lawson and Hamilton Nolan have graciously stepped up to cover for me-Richard tomorrow and Hamilton on Sunday. Thanks guys! (Please don't show me up?) In the meantime, I fear a monkey-free weekend, so please click through to see some adorable-and deadly!-baby squirrel monkeys. See you all Labor Day weekend!