Last night saw New York's geekiest gather at something called NYC Tech Meet-Up, an event which we will not even pretend to understand. Or care about—save for the fact that Thomas Plunkett, Gawker Media's tech master, made some sort of presentation about something or other that he and his army of supergay IT warriors do behind the scenes to make your reading experience that much more manageable. Portfolio seemed to enjoy the performance—but they didn't get the goods. Unfortunately, we did.

Near the end of day yesterday, Gawker's Doree Shafrir handed in her two weeks notice. She'll be leaving us for the New York Observer, where she'll write and report on "ideas." (That role has been, it seems, officially unfilled since the departure of Sheelah Kolhatkar for Portfolio over the winter.) Doree began here as an "associate editor" last October, and early this year transitioned to reporting on the media full-time. She can only be replaced here at Gawker with a terrifying room full of jerry-rigged threshing machines held together with baling wire and lubricated with grain alcohol. We sincerely wish her the best of luck in destroying Jared Kushner from inside his own shop—or, at least, in bringing that paper what the boy publisher may not know it so desperately needs.

Thanks to our sponsors, who also wouldn't let her cadge your Allen key. Interested in advertising on Gawker? More information is available here.

Congratulations, Gawker readers. You are now the voice of conventional wisdom for the financial press. We are so screwed. [Barron's]

But they're kind, upstanding citizens who would never beat you with a Blackberry no matter how badly you deserved it. Care to join their fine fellowship? You can learn more here.

If you're of the opinion that Gawker has turned into an orgy of self-revelation punctuated by the occasional photo of a scantily-clad staffer, further evidence to support your argument can be found here. Not Safe For The Sighted. [Blakeley]

Much like the many men who want to do Julia Allison but don't want to be known as having done the charming Star Editor-at-Large, plenty of reporters want to write a story about Julia Allison, but don't want to be known for having penned a profile of the bubbly media figure. Marketwatch's Jon Friedman finds the perfect solution to the dilemma: Pretend it's a happy piece about a stupid weblog, and then, with that window-dressing in place, Allison it up! It's a charming, self-inoculating strategy, and who are we to begrudge the guy? Julia Allison, like it or not, is traffic! Think about that when you write your angry comments about why we're giving her so much coverage, okay?

Terrific at organizing? Vaguely familiar with HTML? Have lots of free time? Willing to work for nothing for a company that makes 5 billion dollars a day? Gawker needs an editorial intern, like, immediately, for a project that should last about a week. As mentioned, we'll pay you nothing, but you can work from home. Even better, you can work from the office, and rub shoulders with such glamorous figures as Joshua David Stein, trillionaire despot Nick Denton, Balk, Balk's Cock, and that tech guy who always tells us that he's gonna fix stuff but never does. You cannot pass up this opportunity. Contact intern@gawker.com NOW.

Did you know that we were making 70 GRAND a year? Us either! Suck it, poors! Money may not buy happiness, but it certainly makes the dream of finding lasting love seem a lot more palatable when you've got all that imaginary dough in your pockets! [NYM]

Hi, do you use Firefox? We do too! We love it! Unfortunately, our website hates it right now. It crashes for us too! All the time! We're pissed! We'd strike, but we're month-to-month permalancers! Anyway, we hear they're working on it.

We had no idea we were pulling down this much scratch. (Um, we imagine our business department doesn't either, in fact!) Hey, Nick Denton, when you finish your caviar omelet at Balthazar, can you stop by the office? We'd like to renegotiate our contract. [Shylock Blogging]

See, the thing is, we don't really like getting rid of our commenters. Or, you know, we do, but we get distracted really easily. Ooh, look at that adorable puppy outside. OMG so cute! What? Oh, yeah. As we were saying. Sometimes we forget that it's time to clean out a little bit of the dead wood 'round these parts. And then sometimes we remember. Today is one of the days when we remember. Security, please escort the following folks out:

Thanks to this week's sponsors, who take a long walk, come back, and re-read their e-mails before they decide that hitting "send" might not be a good idea after all. Wish you had that kind of judgment? There's more info here.

If we know our audience—and we think we do—we know that there's nothing they love more than A) Swedish modular furniture and B) filling out surveys. That's why we've combined the two into one fun activity: Fill out the following survery and you'll have the chance to win a $300 Ikea gift card. Simply e-mail surveys@gawker.com with the final question from the survey for your chance to win. Standard contest rules apply.

Okay, not really. But boy, are they svelte! Interested in joining their fit ranks? More info is here.

We've spent the day talking to different substance abuse specialists, and they all agree: Lindsay Lohan would never have wound up in such dire straits had she simply filled out a completely random survey. Our love of our readers is such that we are compelled to insist that you take the survey below, lest you find yourself chasing down another automobile with a "friend's" coke in your pocket. We know how unwilling you are to get help, so, to sweeten the pot, we'll be awarding a $300 Ikea gift card to one lucky recipient. Simply e-mail surveys@gawker.com with the final question from the survey for your chance to win. Standard contest rules apply.

Thanks to this week's sponsors, who aren't shy about displaying their endearing bits. Care to show some of your own? There's more information here. This week: American Apparel, Ask.com, Converse, Crunch, Death and Taxes, District NY, E! Online, Evian, Fresh Direct, Gypsy Caravan, MSN Live Earth, Mandalay Bay, Psych, SciFi Channel's Superhero, Toto Washlet, Tegan & Sara, The Travel Channel, Weeds, Wicked Musical.

You probably thought yesterday's little expulsion drill meant that you were safe from redundancy for another week, right? Wrong! We are particularly bloodthirsty of late, and our mania will not be sated until we've escorted another batch of commenters off of Gawker property. This week, however, we've decided we're going to concentrate on a specific group of commenter to can. How did we choose? It's a kind of magic.

This week at Gawker Jobs...