Dear Gawker University Student,

We could not be more proud of those whores over at Jezebel, who offered a $10,000 bounty for the best unretouched cover image of a celebrity from a lady magazine. The winner—a doctored Faith Hill job from Redbook—has resulted in a ton of publicity for the fledgling chick site, all of it well deserved. But it got us thinking: On what could we burn ten grand of our publisher's apparently limitless fortune? We've put together a quick list, but nothing seems to quite fit the bill. If you've got an idea for what might be worth $10,000 while garnering us oodles of publicity and attendant traffic, please leave it in the comments or send it to the tip line. Should your suggestion actually be approved by the Publisher himself, we'll buy you a breakfast at Balthazar with some of the cash we're going to skim off the top. (A breakfast made of gold bars!) Can you do better than these?

Thanks to this week's sponsors, whose Facebook pictures are all completely above-board. Interested in joining the gang? There's more information here! This week: American Apparel, Ask.com, Converse, Crunch, Death and Taxes, District NY, E! Online, Fresh Direct, Gypsy Caravan, Sony Pictures Interview, Live from Abbey Road, MSN Live Earth, Mandalay Bay, Psych, Reyka Vodka, Rock of Love, Sammy's House, SciFi Channel's Superhero, Toto Washlet, The Green Book, The Travel Channel, Wicked Musical. Plus! Do you want to win a copy of Sammy's House, the smart, entertaining new novel from New York Times bestselling author Kristin Gore? Sure you do! To enter, just send an email to contests@gawker.com with the subject line "Sammy's House Contest" before Tuesday, July 17th An email will be picked at random to win. By emailing your entry, you agree to our Contest Rules. Find out more about Sammy's House at Hyperion Books.

Wow, feels kind of self-indulgent around here this week. That's probably because a) there's no news, and b) we are so completely in love with ourselves and our drama and we are endlessly fascinated with what we write about best, which is us. This post will be no exception. It's all about me. Did you know it's my "Gawker birthday?" It's true! I started here a year ago today. In the intervening twelve months I've worked with six different editors, written approximately 2,500 posts, suffered through three staff transitions, and learned more about Rupert Murdoch than I know about my own family. I developed a case of pneumonia that literally almost killed me, I've never slept more than five hours a night, and, once, Nick Denton gave me the finger. ("It means you've arrived," he explained helpfully.) A man can only take so much.

We can't convict Lindsay. We can't kill Paris. So we're taking our anger out on our own commenters. Hey, slow news day, isn't it?

And this week at Gawker Jobs...

As the folks over at CBS's Public Eye note, summer is the season of the list. (The article functions as a collection of lists itself, which is probably intentional.) Why is this the case? Well, nothing happens between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and lazy journalists need to fill space. This problem also affects bloggers, who are even lazier than journalists. Inspired by Jon Friedman's contribution to the genre ("The biggest media stories of 2007 are ..."), we decided to make a list of our own biggest stories this year, as judged by a special correspondent.

You notice how everything has looked screwy here this week? Comments disappearing or bunching up, pictures not aligning properly, tags not displaying on the main page, that sort of thing? Management decided to impose technical changes on the site without testing them out first. There's a lesson here, but we're pretty sure no one's gonna learn it.

Thanks to this week's sponsors, who like to keep things nice and tidy. Care to keep trim yourself? There's more information here.

And this week at Gawker Jobs...

Been a while since we cleared out the dead wood round these parts, and we're feeling a little itchy. (Maybe we should manscape!) So let's get right down to business: The following people are fired. And probably unattractive to boot.

How are you going to pay for all that Plan B? Try Gawker Jobs!

You probably figured that we forget about redundancies this week, didn't you? Uh, yeah, we totally did! So we scrambled today to cobble together a list of people who have ticked us off in the last week-and-a-half and sent them packing. You never know when that pink slip's gonna come. (But it's usually on Wednesdays. Sorry about that.)

Even though they're special, our advertisers demand no special treatment. Care to be a part of it all? More information can be found here. Thanks this week to: American Apparel, Bad Girls Road Trip, Bravo, Canon, David Bowie, Death and Taxes, Evian, Herbal Color, Johnette Napolitano, MSN Live Earth, Mika, NewportNJ.com, Nokia, Reyka Vodka, Sprint, UWISHUNU.com, Westminster Communities.

Hey, you know what's fun? Answering surveys! Honestly, recent studies have shown that frequent survey-responders are considered more attractive, affable, and (where applicable) well-hung than those who choose not to answer surveys. Which is to say that we have no clue what this is about, but if you don't answer this survey Gawker Ad Monster Chris Batty will shiv us with one of Nick Denton's castoff platinum back-scratchers. Please don't make us get stabbed. Also, there's something in it for you! Simply mail surveys@gawker.com and include the last question of the survey and you might just win one free year of unlimited, three discs at a time, Netflix goodness! You can finally catch up on all those Buñuel movies you kept promising yourself you'd see. By participating you agree to be bound by standard Gawker contest rules, but that's a small price to pay. Survey it up, you!

Maybe it's the warm weather or maybe it's the extra few we tossed back at "lunch" this morning, but we're in a generous mood this week, and to show you how happy we are, we're only going to knock four of you out of the box this go around. But don't take that as a sign of weakness; next week we may be feeling especially ragged and wind up sending sixteen of you away in compensation. Anyway, time for our reverse rose ceremony. Here's who leaves.

Thanks to this week's sponsors, who are full of awesome. Do you also want to be full of awesome? Yes you do. Find out how here. This week's awesomists: American Apparel, Canon, Crunch, Death and Taxes, Knocked Up, Maroon 5, Nokia, Reyka Vodka, Select Comfort, Sprint, The Starter Wife, TiVo, UWISHUNU.com Westminster Communities.

You know who we would have liked to execute this week? Our fucking servers. But we couldn't, because they're inanimate objects. And they're already dead. (Zombie servers! Run!) In lieu of that, we've picked five of you who will now be escorted from the premises. Pack up your desks, here comes security.

Hey, you know what's fun? Answering surveys! Honestly, recent studies have shown that frequent survey-responders are considered more attractive, affable, and (where applicable) well-hung than those who choose not to answer surveys. Which is to say that we have no clue what this is about, but if you don't answer this survey Gawker Ad Monster Chris Batty will shiv us with one of Nick Denton's castoff platinum back-scratchers. Please don't make us get stabbed. Also, there's something in it for you! Simply mail surveys@gawker.com and include the last question of the survey and you might just win one free year of unlimited, three discs at a time, Netflix goodness! You can finally catch up on all those Buñuel movies you kept promising yourself you'd see. By participating you agree to be bound by standard Gawker contest rules, but that's a small price to pay. Survey it up, bitch!

Some week, huh? In between all the folks talking about how callous we are toward injured children (uh, you've seen the t-shirt, right?) and questioning our commitment to making Gawker a safe space for womyn, there were plenty of options to choose from in the redundancy department. Unfortunately, we were pressed for time, so we just picked five folks at random. Let's give a final embrace to them together!