NEW YORK - Wall Street is roundly rejecting news out of General Mills (GIS) indicating that it will roll out “Tiny Toast,” its first new cereal product in 15 years, later this month. The cereal bowl shockwave could have destabilizing effects throughout the global breakfast economy.

Yoplait has its trademark yogurt cup with its tapered shape and foil lid. Animal advocates want you to know that that same cup has been killing small animals for years — and General Mills refuses to act upon it.

Michael Leisner, a 65-year-old real estate agent who become the butt of many Internet jokes after he nearly set himself on fire during a poorly thought-out protest against General Mills' "pro-gay agenda," passed away Saturday near his home in Andover, Minnesota. He was 65.

While protesting General Mills' "pro-gay agenda" outside the company's Golden Valley, Minnesota headquarters, a protester inadvertently sets fire to the lawn after torching a box of "homosexual" Cheerios and pouring the flaming cereal pieces into a bowl to make some kind of point.

Last week, Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey introduced a bill that would ban "the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses." But which foods or products use aborted human fetuses? Let's investigate.