georgia

Georgia Plans to Execute a Mentally Retarded Man Tomorrow [Updated]

Hamilton Nolan · 07/17/12 01:07PM

Warren Hill (pictured) was convicted of a 1985 murder, and was sentenced to death after being convicted of beating a fellow inmate to death in 1990. He is scheduled to be executed by the state of Georgia tomorrow evening. Warren Hill's IQ is 70. He has been found by a court to be mentally retarded. Georgia plans to kill him anyhow.

Should Kindergartners Decide Whether You Live or Die?

Caity Weaver · 05/16/12 10:12PM

Kindergartners in Georgia are being groomed to become tyrannical little King Joffreys, wielding unprecedented power over their teachers' lives, according to The Hechinger Report. As part of a new pilot program, feedback from five-year-olds' surveys about their instructors will be used to determine whether teachers retain their jobs or receive raises.

Cops Do Something Good for Once, Refuse to Evict 103-Year-Old

Max Read · 11/30/11 11:20AM

Cops managed to not pepper-spray a victim of our country's absurdly creditor-happy finance laws for once in their lives this weekend when they refused to evict a 103-year-old woman and her 83-year-old daughter. Progress!

FBI Foils Crazy Old Georgia Hicks' Big Talkin' Plot

Hamilton Nolan · 11/03/11 09:20AM

No law enforcement agency in the world is better than our own FBI when it comes to thwarting terror plots that never would have come to fruition anyhow, because they consisted mainly of pitiful people sitting around boasting to FBI informants. The latest triumph by our domestic anti-terror heroes: saving America from a bunch of old Georgia loons who sat around the Waffle House talking about their big assassination ideas.

Accused Shoplifter Expected to Have a Lot of Safe Sex

Lauri Apple · 10/25/11 05:38AM

Meet Alexandrea Brooks, a Cobb County, Georgia woman who police claim "infiltrated" a Walgreens (are the Walgreens in Georgia on lockdown? are they exclusive/members-only?) and stole 26 boxes of condoms, an ovulation test, and a few other items, totaling $562.68. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution thoughtfully provides the full list of Brooks' product selections. She sure is a brand loyalist:

Maybe Georgia Will Execute an Innocent Man

Lauri Apple · 09/10/11 03:29PM

Texas shouldn't be the only U.S. state that gets to execute innocent people, right? That's what the jealous state of Georgia seems to be saying in planning to execute Troy Davis, convicted of murdering a police officer in 1991 and possibly innocent of the crime.

A Judge Too Crazy to Work in Georgia

Hamilton Nolan · 09/06/11 04:36PM

The Georgia Supreme Court has removed Catoosa County magistrate Anthony Peters from his position and banned him from ever returning to the bench in Georgia. His "crime?" After his father died and he had an auto accident in 2005, he started taking large quantities of pain medication and acting erratically. That could happen to anyone, you monsters.

Teen Kills Great-Grandmother With Sword Over Videogames

Max Read · 08/16/11 06:23PM

A 14-year-old kid in Georgia wounded his grandmother and killed his great-grandmother with a "34- to 36-inch sword" on Monday. Fourteen years old! It had to be rap music, right? Or heavy metal? Or—no—videogames.

First Videotaped Execution in 20 Years Postponed For Reasons Unknown

Seth Abramovitch · 07/21/11 04:09AM

Andrew DeYoung was to be executed via lethal injection on Wednesday night in Georgia — an execution of some historic significance, in that it was to be the first to be videotaped in nearly two decades. But his execution was postponed at the last minute, and officials aren't saying why.

Paranoid Georgia Arrests Photojournalists for Being Russian Spies

Jeff Neumann · 07/07/11 07:26AM

Four photojournalists in Georgia, including the personal photographer for that country's hyper-paranoid joke of a president, Mikheil Saakashvili, were arrested overnight for allegedly spying for Russia. Irakli and Natia Gedenidze, Zurab Kurtsikidze, and Giorgi Abdaladze are being held by the Interior Ministry for giving information "to an organization acting under cover of the special service of a foreign country, to the detriment of the interests of Georgia." Hmm. Is he wearing Russian camo?!