Lindsay Lohan tweeted that reports of her alcohol-monitoring bracelet going off were "fucking disgusting." But they are "fucking true." A new bench warrant has been issued for Lilo's arrest, and her infraction cost her a cool $100,000 in bail.

[Lady Gaga brings news of modern dentistry to her German fans at a concert in Hamburg. Pic via Getty]

President Obama will take some time off from golfing tomorrow to announce that he wants the Bush-appointed Ben Bernanke, who some say saved our country from absolute economic ruin, to lead the Fed for another term. [NY Times]

There are new details in Art Capital Group's ongoing legal battle with celebrity photographer/pauper Annie Leibovitz: Art Capital has also sued Getty Images, alleging that the giant photo agency tried to undermine its deal with Leibovitz.

Our nation's finest art museums are crumbling to pieces, thanks to the global financial crisis. But more specifically, thanks to cheapskates like you.

In your crazyland Tuesday media column: PR wizardry at the bankrupt Philly papers, Starbucks sliding down the publishing D-list, the perils of journalism in Utah, and Getty says you owe it money:

How excited was Glenn Close yesterday to earn immortality on the Walk of Fame? Excited enough to carnally plunge onto Hollywood Blvd., which we take to mean "pretty excited." Get a room, you two.

Detroiters line up today for items like food, toiletries, and toys in one of the poorest areas in the country, with a vast underclass and barely-perceptible aboveground economy colliding with the long-dead auto industry. [Getty]

Random House has a new CEO, Markus Dohle (who previously worked for a printing company owned by corporate owner Bertelsmann AG), and he's finally made the big changes people have been expecting for months, reports Leon Neyfakh at the New York Observer. Dohle just released a "jaw-dropping memo" that was decidedly un-cheery—as well as "effective immediately." The memo is too hard to read in its corporatespeak ("created a plan for our future that aligns existing strengths and publishing affinities and fosters teamwork throughout the company") so we will translate:

The first audience to see the finished version of Australia should be drunkenly stumbling out of the afterparty right about now in Sydney, where Baz Luhrmann's $130 million epic held its world premiere today. Early reviews from the homeland are mixed ("While it will be very popular with many people I think there's a slight air of disappointment after it all," notes The Australian), putting Fox on edge for this weekend's first American press screenings and underscoring downswung star Nicole Kidman's red-carpet threat to walk away from the whole sordid business:

[People in Chester, PA attend a cold, wet rally today for presidential hopeful Barack Obama, who gave his speech in the pouring rain, wearing jeans and sneakers; image via EMMANUEL DUNAND/AFP/Getty Images]

[Performers in the new Cirque Du Soleil show 'Wintuk' during a sneak preview today at Madison Square Garden; image via Getty] Colonel Mustard's new line beats the original, American Racial Profiling Problem Deftly Explored By French Canadian Circus Performers.

[From Getty Images, these are full-size cutouts of presidential candidate John McCain and his running mate, Marge Gunderson. The curtain separates the press from the real people on McCain's Straight Talk Air Express campaign plane.]

Clint Eastwood took himself and his new film Changeling to its US premiere last weekend at the New York Film Festival. Just like we had for our audience with Mickey Rourke, we sneaked in via a film canister to check out the scene and lob a question his way; still, as lovely and reliably austere as Changeling is, we had more pressing issues on our mind than how little Eastwood rehearsed with Angelina Jolie (answer: hardly at all). To wit: How is a long-time conservative, former elected official and John McCain supporter like Eastwood getting his head around the Celebrity Election of '08 — Sarah Palin's candidacy in particular? Was this a circus anyone could have foreseen 57 years ago when he joined the GOP? He wasn't really going there, we soon learned (he was only slightly more candid at the recent New Yorker Festival, vaguely alluding to Palin's truthfulness in her debate with Joe Biden). But as reformed Republicans go, Eastwood still packs a robust skepticism alongside his tux when he travels."My mortgage is in the toilet, too," he replied. "I haven't been very active in politics. Yes, I started out as a Republican in 1951; I was a young 21-year-old in the Army, and I wanted to vote for Dwight Eisenhower. He, like all politicians, was always promising something, and he promised he would go to Korea and end the Korean War. But the Republican Party, as has the Democratic Party, has changed dramatically in the 50-some years that I've been involved with it, so I've sort of drifted to a more Libertarian point of view. The Libertarian Party never got going as a party — just leave everybody alone. It was very appealing to a guy like myself who came up in the '30s and watched my parents struggle through the Depression and [who] nowadays is wanting for nothing. "Now, of course, everybody is promising everything," Eastwood continued. "That's the only way to get elected: You have to promise to give people all kinds of stuff. You have to give away new cars like on Oprah or something. We'll give you anything to go down and vote. It's kind of perverted politics as far as I'm concerned. Whether Mr. McCain or Mr. Obama... Whatever happens there, who knows? There are a lot of promises going on there, too. It's a very confusing era." We couldn't agree more — we'll be so much happier when no one has to worry any longer about distinguishing Palin from Tina Fey. [Photo: Getty Images]

Oh, celebrities - even though US Weekly says They're Just Like Us!, they often seem to inhabit stratospheric heights. Take Oprah Winfrey, for example. She founded that school in South Africa. Her Angel Network raised money for Katrina relief efforts. And who can forget Oprah's Favorite Things!, when she nearly sends hordes of teachers in her audiences into cardiac arrest by giving them free cars and red velvet cupcakes. Well, apparently Opes is just as greedy as the rest of us.Over the weekend, Oprah hit up an Emmy swag suite and - gasp! - actually took something home with her. A purple-grey Lesportsac limited edition bowling style bag designed by Stella McCartney. Really, Oprah? We would've gone for one of these cool hats, like Neal Patrick Harris did. Lookin' good, Doogie. [Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Fallout is almost always a certainty in the corrosive cosmos of awards-show aftermaths, but rarely do we spend the next morning sealing our windows as painstakingly as we have since the end of the Emmys. From the botched opening — which even Jeremy Piven was actively (and publicly) scrubbing from memory less than 30 minutes into the show — to the nightmarishly accelerated climax, this year's Emmycast found creative new ways to alienate pretty much everyone in three hours or less. You essentially know where we stand on the damage scale, but others were not so lucky; keep your oxygen tanks and penicillin handy for a brisk survey of the casualties.· Early reports indicate the Emmys suffered their worst ratings ever: Roughly 12.2 million viewers tuned in, a 7% percent drop from 2007 and about 100,000 fewer than the previous low in 1990. Explanations range from primetime NFL competition to the Kimmel lead-in getting blown out by 60 Minutes, but let's be honest: If Katherine Heigl wasn't coming, why would America? · No one was more disappointed than beat writers at the Nokia Theater, who waited in vain for winners who never arrived. The culprit: The long elevator detour to the press room, as opposed to last year's nearby tent at the Shrine. But, reports Variety: "There's no question that the buffet laid out for the hungry scribes was far better than any Emmy nosh in years." · As such, the Academy's generosity paid off in karmically complimentary reviews like USA Today's:

[Socialite Tinsley Mortimer (on the right) with Aubrey O'Day, CEO of the Danity Cane Company, at the Custo Barcelona show; image via Getty]

[Fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg at a Fashion Week event today; image via Getty] homobot v3.0's new line beats the original, "When You Get To Be As Successful As I Am, All Of Your Credit Cards Are Enormous."

["Project Runway" judge Nina Garcia at the Vera Wang show this morning; image via Getty] belltolls's new line beats the original, "Just This Morning A Small Child Played Me Like a Xylophone."

[Lauren Conrad of "The Hills" with the wicked Lo at Bryant Park today; image via Getty]