The nation's least populous town sold at auction for $900,000 today. Everyone who lived in the town is moving to Windsor, Colorado. (It was just one guy. He lived there alone.)

Randi Zuckerberg has been awarded a Bravo reality show, a show that will follow young people trying to become "Silicon Valley's next great success stories." The mere existence of the program shows how the myth of golden opportunity in the Valley is, once again, far surpassing reality. But beyond that, the show's a clear signal that ridiculous, highly public interpersonal drama will continue to swirl around the Zuckerberg clan for some time to come.

It's a really sad day for the birds. The USDA and Big Agriculture have belched out yet another terrible idea: Private companies will now inspect their mutant chickens themselves.

A volunteer at the Smithsonian Archives has made it her mission to put female scientists back where they belong: the kitchen. Just kidding — she's putting them back in annals of history, via Wikipedia.

Bravo announced today that it's giving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump her own reality show, and, somewhere in LA, Kyle Richards' face flashed dark with hag-like rage before she recovered and said "Ohmygod, I'm so happy for you, you look amazing!"

The director of the one of the world's top universities, the Institute of Political Studies in Paris (known popularly and in your French oral examens as Sciences Po), Richard Descoings, was found dead in a New York hotel room Tuesday afternoon. Police have opened an investigation into his death, because the circumstances surrounding it bear more than a passing resemblance to the opening scene of the Da Vinci code, which is to say, they are suspicious.

Back on February 8th, a British telecommunications company let one quarter of its 12,000 employees work from home. The results of that experiment are in, and it seems that, basically, everything is more amazing when you can futz around in your pajamas all day instead of putting on clothing like a respectable human being.

"Yes, yes - it was a stupid joke," Two and a Half Men co-creator Lee Aronsohn tweeted. "I'm sorry." Kind of a weak apology given how thoroughly he pissed everyone off.

Ann Romney, who does not consider herself wealthy but who does know her way around Pinterest, wants to unzip Mitt's huge personality and let. Him. Out.

The recipient of the world's first silicone breast implants is and was a total bad-ass. Here are some facts about her from the BBC News Magazine's A Brief History of Breast Enlargements:

Carson Daly made some poor choices this week. Daly used Tuesday's JetBlue pilot meltdown as fodder for his radio show, telling listeners: "if that were me... with my luck, it would be like, 'This is the flight going to the [gay] pride parade in San Francisco…Uh, we're headed down to Vegas for the floral convention.'" A regular cut-up, this guy. No wonder he is so good at—

Mississippi will be the least densely populated state following the Rapture, if the latest Gallup poll is any indication.

Mustachioed soothsaying simpleton Thomas Friedman long ago mastered a formula for justifying business trips all over the world by writing columns about them—columns that, while not genuinely insightful or even pleasant to read, contain a sufficient number of plausible-sounding platitudes to enable your average Xerox Corporation regional manager to sound informed during his morning meeting with underlings and sycophants.

Horrible thieves with hearts two sizes too small stole a 2-foot bronze statue of Dr. Seuss' Lorax character from the La Jolla home of the author's ninety-year-old widow last weekend.

Frank Bruni, America's Worst Newspaper Columnist, served up a hack's dream on Sunday: His old college pal is an abortion doctor, Bruni says, and once performed an abortion on one of the most vocal and angry anti-abortion protesters that plagued his clinic. Just goes to show you that things are never quite as they seem, I suppose. But did it happen?

A medical marijuana delivery in West Covina, Calif., was foiled early this morning after two men dressed as ninjas and wielding martial arts batons approached a deliveryman and stole a bag of cash and product.

Last night it seemed that Kim Kardashian had a fairly mild reaction to being "flour-bombed" on the red carpet. After a woman posing as a journalist dumped an entire bag of flour on Kim, the reality star brushed it off, literally and figuratively.

German publication B.Z. has shed some light on the apocalyptic coming together of the Manilow*, Manson, Del Rey trio, pictured together at the Echo Music Awards in Germany: Marilyn Manson and Lana Del Rey are dating. B.Z. is supposedly in possession of photographic evidence that the once-rumored Wonder Years star and forever-rumored self-fellating rocker is having hotel sleepovers with Lana Del Rey.

Step off that elliptical—gingerly, now, so you don't trip, oops, you tripped anyway, oh God, how embarrassing, whatever, no one saw—the Telegraph reports that a new study has found that eating seaweed toast is basically the same as exercising.

Organizers of the Orange County Fair called a halt to the event's twenty-five year tradition of offering elephant rides today.