Snowbound in remote Michigan for 13 days, two women lived the American dream this month, surviving solely on Girl Scout Cookies and cheese puffs before being “rescued” by state police on Friday.

The recent Girl Scout cookie crime wave continued last week when two Oregon Girl Scout troops were hoaxed by a fake order for 6,000 boxes of cookies worth roughly $24,000. By the time the troops realized the order was not real, the troop had already paid for and set aside the 500 cases of cookies necessary to fill the fake purchase.

A band of rowdy hamburglars has ensured that a troop of Girl Scouts in Washington state will never trust anyone or love anything ever again, after breaking into a troop leader's garage and destroying around $2500 worth of Girl Scout cookies.

Just when you thought the Boy Scouts of America had a monopoly on organizational misbehavior, CBS Los Angeles discovered a video showing more than 13,000 boxes of unsold, unexpired Girl Scout cookies knowingly trashed last May. How many innocent Thin Mints have to die to satisfy your corporate greed?

Did you know that the Girl Scouts, America's rag-tag crème puff children's militia, are rolling out a new cookie this year?

Get ready for the most adorable true crime story you'll hear all day. In Texas, a troop of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a Wal-Mart were robbed by thieves who took the girls' cash box. (But weirdly enough, no cookies.) It's actually kind of a sad story — they never got the money back. But the no-nonsense way the victims went after the robbers is pretty cute.

This just in: Indiana state Rep. Bob Morris has "gone viral" for a sending a ranting letter to fellow Republican lawmakers warning that the Girl Scouts of America is "making their daughters more receptive to the pro-abortion agenda." He wrote it in an attempt to stop a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts.

Girl Scout Cookies are an apt metaphor for our economy: it was working just fine. Then someone got the bright idea to hugely expand it. Then it collapsed. Soon, there will be just six kinds of Girl Scout cookies left.