• Gordon Ramsay says he's partnering with Victoria Beckham to open a restaurant in LA. Yes, a restaurant. Whether she'll actually taste any of the food served there is anybody's guess. [P6]

I love that asshole Gordon Ramsay. He combines all the best qualities we seek in television chefs: cooking skills, abusive language, a foreign accent. As well as the occasional tender moment! Kitchen Nightmares, the show where Ramsay travels to nice, homely restaurants in the New York area and berates their owners to distraction before showering them with thousands of dollars worth of new kitchen equipment, is coming back to Fox tomorrow night. And not a moment too soon—with the Republican convention wrapping up, where else will America turn for our televised dose of a blond man with an ill-concealed temper demanding that foreigners accept his help or be destroyed? See the parallels there, zing? Yes. Watch the trailer after the jump; the cockroaches represent Islamofascism:

• Drew Nieporent chats about the forthcoming Nobu in Herzliya, Israel and shares details about his singing career. Yes, he sings, too. [Blackbook]

• Scott Conant is now "poised to become Molto Mario's heir apparent," or so says the Observer. [NYO]

Most Americans are coarse oafs whose idea of fine dining is a grilled cheese sandwich with Grey Poupon on the side. So we all tend to like shouty British TV chef Gordon Ramsay, who screams cuss words at people on reality shows, which is behavior we all relate to. But other British chefs are not fans! Last week one Ramsay protege called him a "sad bastard" and said he hopes to never speak to him again. And today, famous chef Herbert Berger said celebrity cooks like Ramsay are "petulant," "spoilt divas," and act like "children." Berger, you donkey! You can't possibly hope to win this battle. Though I'm sure it's not fun to work for Gordon Ramsay, it is certainly fun to watch Gordon Ramsay exhibiting his forthright management skills when dealing with his inferiors in the kitchen, as he does in this helpfully uncensored clip from his show Kitchen Nightmares:

If it feels like every week brings news of yet another cash-strapped American company raising money from Abu Dhabi or Dubai or selling itself entirely to one of these emirates, it isn't your imagination. From real estate (the GM building) to finance (Citigroup), cash has been pouring in from the Middle East as of late. But the expressway of money goes in both directions. Today the Times covered many of the banks setting up shop in Dubai. But loads of other prominent New Yorkers are heading East to take advantage of the petro-dollar gravy train. Here's a look at the growing list of prominent restaurateurs, fashion designers, architects, and real estate developers setting up shop in one of the world's fastest-growing—and richest—regions.

Not to be a total pawn for the evil Fox marketing machine, but I really love that show "Hell's Kitchen." I don't care if Gordon Ramsay says "cunt," or kicks couples out of a restaurant during their romantic Valentine's day dinners. Last night, as I sat through the commercials to find out which team had selected a portion of halibut that weighed closest to six ounces, I realized that this must be a good show, because it had me waiting anxiously to watch a dramatic scene of fish fillets being placed on a scale.

Gordon Ramsay, you DONKEY. The Scottish-born screaming chef has that "Kitchen Nightmares" show on Fox, where he visits terrible restaurants, screams a lot, and magically transforms them into good restaurants. Nifty! But Gordon, even complete makeovers don't give you the right to kick people out in the middle of their romantic Valentine's Day dinners so you can film your stupid show.

Actress Jane Fonda isn't supposed to say "cunt" because she's an American, a decorated Viet Cong lieutenant and everything but still an American. Gordon Ramsay, on the other hand, is a louche British prick who happens to cook and has a television show, and we just haven't gotten around to rendering him to CIA surrogates in Syria or whatever. So he can say "cunt" as he does in this clip and we would not be offended, even if he was speaking in his native tongue and not Welsh, and even if he was on clean American television and not the filthy BBC. [Tabloid Baby]

Is man-mountain and "Top Chef" judge Tom Colicchio stretching himself too thin? The glabrous chef, who recently opened a Craft outpost in Los Angeles at the offices of superagency CAA, was visited by the Michelin Man yesterday who, with a nerfy yet firm hand, stripped away the lone Michelin star of Colicchio's anchor restaurant Craft. Perhaps he shouldn't have spent so much time berating idiot "Top Chef" contestant Dale and staring at Padma Lakshmi's luscious lady lumps? But then again, maybe we shouldn't have either!

"Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsay Accidentally Burns His Genitals" [Feed Syndicate]

Stentorian and epigrammatic chef Gordon Ramsay has been busted and even sued recently over his stateside reality television show "Kitchen Nightmares." And as the U.K.'s Times reports, there's trouble with his U.K. show, "The F Word," too. Allegedly Ramsay doesn't even spear his own sea bass, a particularly pointed barb in light of his bad boy renegade hunter-sauteér image. Also, don't they teach you that at chef school alongside how to make a tuile on desert island and chiffonade for the shipwrecked? All the sordid fishy details after the jump.

The lawsuit that a fired restaurant manager is bringing against Chef of the Realm Gordon Ramsay is the gift that keeps on giving. As we noted, Martin Hyde, the general manager at Dillon's, a failing theater district eatery, applied to be a part of Ramsay's show "Kitchen Nightmares." Hyde alleges Ramsay humiliated him, planted rancid meat in the fridge (is this a euphemism for something?) and hired actors to pose as customers. Hyde got fired and the restaurant is still failing as miserably as always. But, as Chris Shott writes in the today's Observer, the real question is whether anything could have been done to save Dillon's.

British contrarian, chef and Indian giver Gordon Ramsay has been having a rough go of it lately. His New York restaurant the London has been called stultifying. The realitiness of his reality TV show has been called into question, and he was recently named as a defendant in a suit brought against him by a very angry participant in his newest show ,Kitchen Nightmares. This fella claims Ramsay cost him his job and his dignity. The man is Martin Hyde of once-and-future failing restaurant Dillon's. His story, which he's finally talked about, is sad and possibly even true.

The winners of Gordon Ramsay's "reality" tv show "Hell's Kitchen" actually didn't get their promised cushy jobs, reports the Post.

Visitors to TV-hogging English celebu-chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurant in The London hotel on 54th Street yesterday found something missing from their New York Times—the Dining section.

• Baba Wawa's interview with Anna Wintour airs Dec. 12. [Fashion Week Daily]
  

Yet more UK terror-mongering. Glaswegian chef Gordon Ramsay churns out popular TV shows (Hell's Kitchen excepted) with about the same frequency as his instantly popular restaurants. Yesterday's episode of his cooking show The F-Word featured a new plateau, even for Ramsay's confrontational style — the on-camera slaughter and butchering of two pigs he'd been fattening up throughout the series. This was always meant to be the pigs' destiny; Ramsay made a characteristically black joke by naming them Trinny and Susannah, after his hated enemies Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine, hosts of fashiony program What Not to Wear. Trading metaphorical reality-show carnage for actual carnage, Trinny and Susannah (the pigs) are