Click to viewBoomp3.com Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen is just another celebrity to be added to the list of individuals copping with an irrational fear. While her fear isn’t as debilitating as egomaniac/talk show host Tyra Banks’ fear of dolphins or any other celebrities’ fear of running into Gary Busey, Momsen suffers from a fear of giant talking fried foods. A special screening of the sex comedy Sex Drive served as an intervention for Momsen so she could finally face her fear. Before descending down the red carpet, Momsen, who was breathing heavily, slowly approached the donut, but quickly turned tail as soon as the donut said, “Hola.” When asked for a comment, the giant donut said, “I scare a lot of people. It’s okay. Then again, a lot of people want to eat me. So, it evens itself out." [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

["Gossip Girl" actress Taylor Momsen at the premiere of the movie "Sex Drive" in Tribeca last night; image via Nick McGlynn/Random Night Out]

This election has seen a wealth of celebrity PSAs (some amusing, some snooty), but no ad yet produced can rival the visceral reaction produced by YOUVOTE's latest, star-studded salvo. The first two minutes of earnest political encouragement from Kathy Najimy and the cast of Gossip Girl are standard fare, but things really go haywire at the end (excerpted above), when all the celebrities engage in hideously embarrassing, new agey dancing. Sure, the ad may claim to be bipartisan, but the full roster of famous Obama supporters (like Kate Walsh and Samuel L. Jackson) degrading themselves so fully suggests an act of celebrity sabotage by rival John McCain. Also, Dana Delany? Reprising your "sock it to me" dance from the Emmys was not a good idea. [YOUVOTE]

This here website (among many others) has been asking the same question for years. Is Details magazine gay? I mean, yeah, they pretty much are with all their fancy fashion ads and fancy men who are always gracing the cover. This month's bois are the dudes from teen soap Gossip Girl, and look! The cover is eerily similar to the fellas' Out cover appearance from back in March. (Heck, when New York Magazine featured the show, they included the ladies.) Note in these two gayish covers that resident twink Chace Crawford is sandwiched in the middle on both. Heh. Subtle. Click for larger comparison.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Ms. Betty Suarez herself AKA America Ferrera continued to haunt and torment her Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants co-star Blake Lively during a Gossip Girl shoot in Times Square on Tuesday morning. Lively thought that Ferrera’s gigantic eyes were rolling each time she spoke and was unable to concentrate on the scene. A crafty collective of interns and production assistants concocted an elaborate stack of apple boxes, c-stands and light reflector boards to block the nerve-racking billboard. [Photo Credit: Splash Pic] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

["Gossip Girl" minx Blake Lively kissing some dude while filming in Times Square today; image via Splash] SidAndFinancy's new line beats the original, Television Screens Are The New Thought Bubbles.

The boys of Gossip Girl grace the cover of November's issue of Details, and inside, they recount the indignities they are forced to endure as professional thespians (such as avoiding paparazzi or shaving their tween-intimidating chest hair). None of the Gossip trio has it harder than pretty pony Chace Crawford, however, whose protestations that he's more than simply an actor/model are ignored by lascivious writer Mark Harris ("Perhaps you've seen [Crawford] shirtless and treasure-trailed for Abercrombie & Fitch" — perhaps we haven't, Mark!). Unfortunately for Crawford, there's one obstacle he may never overcome, and it's an affliction that is common in young men with Diesel jeans and a gym membership to Crunch:

Ian and Moe were on Gossip Girl last night! Well, their names were at least. As the camera panned over Blair's carefully planned seating chart for her mother's Fashion Weeks show, there—among other New York notable types (Tory Burch! Anna Wintour! Adam Moss! Leanne Marshall from Project Runway!)—were Moe Tkacik and Ian Spiegelman, two of my very own esteemed Gawker colleagues. I'm so jealous that they got invited to a teen soap's imaginary fashion show. It's also just really fun when GG acknowledges the media that is so often acknowledging GG and the circle game continues in its weird, delightful, though admittedly incestuous way. Maybe next year I'll get to go! The clip featuring the seating chart is above, if you care to try to pause and find other names. Vanity Fair has a nice close-up, too. Read on for more recap. It's tough to know where to start on such an overstuffed (in a good way, I think) episode, so I suppose we might as well start with the grownups. Lily and Bart love each other in a brittle, Connecticut way that involves jewelry and expensive art collections that one buys to impress the other—almost like a roommate would, freshman year of college, with like Sublime and Scarface posters or something (old person!) Anyway, in the end Lily found out that an old nude photograph she'd taken, a Mapplethorpe, had been confiscated by the circle-the-wagons Bart. She was upset, until he showed her the entire dossier he had on his Nordic bride. One envelope in particular, whose contents are still a secret to us, seemed to shut Lily right up. Meanwhile her daughter Miss Serena was budding into a young socialite, traipsing about town with something hilariously called Poppy Lipton. She continued to (inadvertently) woo away former queen bee Blair's bitchy posse of friends, wowing them with paparazzi photos in which she did some awkward pose that looked like enormous strawberry face minus the enormous strawberry. All of this made Blair upset, especially when Serena was invited to sit front row, with her gaggle of vague "socialites," at Blair's mom's little fashion show. Shrieeeeekkkkk!! They were supposed to watch backstage together, it's their most cherished tradition. But times change, young Blair. Time and people and places zoom away from us faster and faster as we get older, and no amount of screaming and double crossing can stop the terrible march. But it doesn't hurt to try! Yes indeed Blair was in full scheme mode, pulling an innumerable amount of stunts at her mother's show's expense. She fucked with the seating, she chased away the models, and she switched out the final dress—worn poutingly by, of course, van der Woodsen. Oh, and that green Lisa Turtle cocktail party frock? Designed by Jenny. Wicked, bobble headed Jenny, who has insinuated herself into the Waldorf fashion world faster than you can say "child labor laws." The only, heh heh heh, problem is that she hasn't been going to school and Pa Humphrey is mad mad mad (because he pays a bamillion dollars for the silly school, because he is an idiot, or maybe the kids aren't all that bright, I mean, they couldn't go to Stuyvesant or any of the other good New York City public high schools? I mean, I know, the public school system is nowhere near perfect, and some high schools are probably not in great shape, but c'mon). He set up a meeting with Headmistress McCarnadoogle or whatever and Jenny told the old battle axe that she was fleeing academia with no intention of returning.

With all due respect, Cecily von Ziegesar, I must dispute your contention that Barack Obama is Blair Waldorf. He is so totally not Blair. I realize that I could not be writing this post at all had you not blazed the trail by authoring the transcendent works of literature on which the meta-popular Gossip Girl television series is based, whereas I have watched said derivative television show exactly once. But perhaps in that relative ignorance I can claim a kind of wisdom you are too enmeshed, too beholden, too blinded by detail and deep-seated loyalties to your own creations, to possess. In that way you would be not unlike ex-Hillary Clinton aide Howard Wolfson, who last month described awakening "Rip Van Winkle"-like after his boss finally conceded to her charismatic young rival "to a world transformed by political currents we had stood against." Wake up and smell the green tea mimosas, Cecily! Like the country, Gossip Girl is bigger than you now.And when you glibly state, pollster-like, that "the truth is, Barack is just not blond enough or vague enough to be a Serena" as if that is just the accepted truth, like "America is not ready for a black president" or "socialism is for Europeans", you are failing to detect the paradigm shift underway that had the "smart money" backing the Serena as Obama metaphor all the way back in Season One:

Zoms, guys. Lauren Conrad from The Hills and Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl (both silly teen shows, one "real," one fake) totally have text all the time. [Intel]

[Taylor Momsen on the set of "Gossip Girl" today; image via INF] Don_Is' new line beats the original, "Hey, Hobo Girl. You Can't Just Leave That Here. Someone Will Step In It."

It's the most unfightable news story of the day. Last night, at a Kings of Leon concert, actress Drew Barrymore got into some down 'n dirty tonsil hockey with Gossip Girl fop Ed Westwick. They were sucking face like mad, for all the world to see. And see the world did, if our tips inbox is any indication. Several breathless emails arrived in the early morn, keening to us about this sex explosion that will surely ruin the world with its blinding hotness. Or something. Read some accounts of the events after the jump.

Who knew going back to school would be so much fun? Last night's episode of bitchy teen soap Gossip Girl saw the children of the New York elite returning to their fancy pants school after a summer of lazing about Europe and the Hamptons, and a true return to form for the show's writers who were... I dunno, lazing about their couches all summer. Relationships crumbled, secrets were revealed, and, most importantly, there was drinking. There's this imagined New York that I adore, in which 16 and 17-year-olds can sidle up to the toniest bars north of 14th street and just order up any damn drink they please. Half-full martini (perfect for sexy sloshing!) for Serena? Sure! Scotch on the rocks (or whatever) for lunky Larry Lacrosse from Dalton? Absolutely. It's hysterical and I love it. I just hope the real kids don't think it works that way. Anyway, yes, there was a bar. It was the culmination of a series of bitchy miscommunications involving a dopey girl with bangs named Amanda and Serena's bitchy former posse of friends. Newly broken up, Serena and Dan were awkward on their first day of school. Then The Troubles began. Dan was seen chatting with Bangsmanda, Serena got sad, her friends got mad. Bangsmanda was invited into the crew by a be-field-hockeyed Blair, then instructed to stay away from Danny. Bangsmanda said no, dragged Dan to a bar, Gossip Girl found out, everyone was mad and sad and Dan was confused and such a boyyyyyy about it. So Serena said "eff it, let's the three of us go out" and so they did but Bangsmanda was acting the fool about Rilke and Dan was guffawing along with her so Serena—a woman after my own heart—decided to get wasted and hit on people. Meanwhile those two little lackeys (the black one and the vaguely Mediterranean one) decided to be wicked and pour Nair on Bangsmanda's beautiful nest of hair. It started falling out, Serena acted innocent, Dan flipped out and said that she was, at heart, a Mean Girl, and that was the end of that. Bitchy Serena was back. "From now on, everything goes through me" she said icily to Token and Jimmy the Greek. Oohhh. It was wonderful! Though, Serena's character is written so hilariously inconsistently. I think she maybe has some sort of personality disorder that will haunt her terribly in her later years, but for now it's fun! Meanwhile Chuck was scheming about something. Blair, in her yearly tradition, was interviewing the new crop of wannabe lackeys (one was a black girl whose father was the doctor for the Knicks! did anyone else think of Blair Underwood's character on Sex and the City? is he her father? no? just me? gunshot!). Chuck handed her Amanda's dossier, which Blair assessed as "Dan with boobs." Which is true, except that at the end we found out that Bangsmanda was a secret agent, working nefariously for Chuckles the Clown to get the Bitchy Serena back so Blair could be dethroned as queen bee. This is all, we assume, some convoluted way to win back Blair's pulpy heart. It was nice to see the writers laying groundwork for an extended plot line. Though, I'm sure it will be resolved next week. Blair was busy with other things for most of the episode anyway, namely learning from a snooping Vanessa that—gasp!—Catherine, The Last Living Civil War Widow, has been putting the skins to her stepson Lord Foppington, Blair's fey fake-British lord of a boyfriend. It was a funny moment that we probably all saw coming. Blair was teary and furious when she saw the camera photos, and told Vanessa to shut up and stay out of it. She'd take care of it. Of course Vanessa didn't fully understand Blair's technique, so she went and blabbed to the Duke, ruining the deal that Blair had arranged with Methuselah With Boobs—that she would pay for Nate's dad's restitution (is that the right word?) and leave town, thus solving everything. Nate was sad with Vanessa and Vanessa was wearing brightly colored clothes and I wanted to urge her to get back to the set of Roundhouse before it disappeared for another 15 years, like Brigadoon. I suppose I can mention Jenny because there was a tiny bit with Erik last night. He was having breakfast with the family (oh! Lily's back! Kelly Rutherford is good as ever, even when paired with Singles extra Matthew Settle!) and Chuck was talking to Serena in front of him and said to Serena "you're a born queen" to which I shrieked "just like your brother!!!" and my roommate didn't think it was that funny but I laughed a lot. So yeah, there he was. So I can say that Jenny is still being tormented by Token and Jimmy the Greek. I'm curious to see what Jenny's Phoenix from the Ashes moment will be. I suspect it will be in next week's Fashion Week episode. Because, you know, Jenny does fashion. (That's her thing. Everyone needs a thing. In high school, my thing was smoking. Still is! What was your thing?) Anyyyyway, it was a great episode, full of twists and turns and intrigue and barely any Nate (though sadly, no bare Nate) and, again, the teeny bops getting drunk at Swanktown Bistro. I hope they can keep this pace up. They really seem to be hitting their stride—like Bart Bass walking in flip flops on some faraway sand. Uncomfortable and looking at his feet at first, then eventually getting the hang of it. Secure in his flip flops, in his new comfortable rhythm, as he strides gaily down the beach.

["Gossip Girl" actress Leighton Meester on the New York set today; image via INF]

Admittedly, I don't know who these people are, or what on earth they're talking about, but I do know these are clips from the upcoming episode of Gossip Girl and that many, many otherwise sane adults are hopelessly addicted to it. So dig in!

I cannot say I expected a blog best beloved for its breathless Gossip Girl recaps* would be the blog whose archives I spent the most time raiding to read up on the collapse of capitalism. But this crisis has been full of surprises and one of them is that reading New York magazine's Daily Intel blog could have saved investors a shit ton of money, because they have been paying superclose attention to the saga of America's Crapital Structure and they take very good notes. They reeled me into their archived coverage of what they call the "White Men With Money" beat when they ingeniously dubbed Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein the "Lila Fowler of Wall Street" after the moneyed alpha girl of the Sweet Valley High series. It wasn't a connection I'd think to make, but maybe that's because I'm not as savvy at parsing rumors…1. For instance, they totally rejected the worthless albeit true rumor about Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain's bad toupee and embraced the ex Goldman banker wholeheartedly. He looked like Clark Kent, therefore he would save his company with magical superpowers and common decency and it was really as simple as that. 2. Conversely, they did not like Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld. Did not trust his eyebrows. And seized an early opportunity in June to lambaste him for being a style nazi. He was superficial! And people like that are always way too concerned about what other people think, and they overlook what's inside. Korean Development Bank was no more likely to save him from his deluded sense of reality than Elizabeth Wakefield was Bruce Patman. 3. Early into their shift steering the John Thain love train, they hired a prominent astrologer to see what was in his stars for the year. Just to make sure their instincts were correct. WERE THEY EVER.

Now that the all-consuming "Who's the daddy?" question has been dealt with, 90210 watchers are finally forced to find other matters of interest, and there is no issue more talked-about right now than the weight of the show's lead actresses. No, we're not talking about Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth (and we're still not talking about you, Tori): we're talkin' "Brenda 2.0" Shenae Grimes and Jessica Stroup, who plays blog maven Silver. According to Us Weekly, the two are rarely seen eating, and even actor Penn Badgley from network rival Gossip Girl has weighed in on the girls' too-thin figures (firing a shot across the bow at Los Angeles in the process):

[Taylor Momsen, who plays little Jenny on the teen soap "Gossip Girl," on the New York set yesterday; image via INF] Don Is' new line beats the original, Actress Pauses For Quiet Moment of Reflection After Realizing What 'Fashion Bird' Has Done On Her Head

Click to viewBoomp3.com While she may be able to juggle a successful acting career and a successful personal life, Gossip Girl star Blake Lively was not able to juggle her beloved maltepoo and her equally beloved Caramel Macchiato. Lively walked for a couple of blocks juggling the two precious items before handing the frothy espresso beverage off to her bodyguard. Yet as soon as Lively gave the drink to her bodyguard, she found herself craving a quick sip. Lively whispered, “I know this may sound weird, but could you help me take a drink from my coffee?” The bodyguard slowly brought the cup to Lively’s lips and gently poured the drink, after which Lively emitted a giant, satisfied sigh. [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

[Blake Lively, star of "Gossip Girl," on set today; image via Splash] Aaron Altman's new line beats the original, Actress Displays New 'Motorcycle Pajamas'