On last night's episode of America's favorite teen-centered morality play, we learned an age-old secret and traveled to a faraway and mysterious place that the Indians called "Bushwick."

Which celeb has Cammie been sneaking around with? Why is Charlie Sheen wearing a disguise to have an affair? Is Madonna really sending the kids to public school? How much did Eliot Spitzer spend on hookers? Wednesday's gossip is puzzled.

It was the Big Day on America's favorite teen remake of Husbands & Wives last night, with couples breaking up and fighting and maybe some new ones being formed. Oh, plus there was a wedding for some lady.

The Avatar star insists James Cameron lost because he's not a woman. Sandy B met one of Jesse's girls. A real life Gossip Girl couple breaks up. A real life Jersey Shore couple fights. Tuesday's gossip wins by technical knockout.

It's true. We are finally ready to embrace gay Jim Carrey. Also today: a new miniseries about things exploding in olden times starts to come together, important Gossip Girl news, and the truth about babies.

In last night's episode there was a violent game of Assassin, while other people warred with each other in their own way, and, inevitably, something died.

This week's episode saw a fancy fashion show, a drugged young thing in serious need of help, a couple struggling to get out of their rut and back into the groove, and lots and lots of hookers.

Tonight's Gossip Girl could have resulted in a Jenny Humphrey date rape were it not for professional hero-for-hire Nate Archibald. How did he find her in time to stop it? Luckily, his cell phone had a Google app for that.

Last night's episode was the most underpantsless, hair-chestiest episode of the spring. And yet, oddly, it was also the chastest.

Last night's episode was all about people reaching out for one another. Unrequited lovers reaching for a warm body. Mothers reaching for sons. Daughters for fathers. Jenny for a sack of pills.

Never let it be said that Gossip Girl can't provide answers to life's tough questions. For example, what do you do when your best friend and your ex start shacking up in your apartment? Fake it like you mean it.

Gossip Girl returned from a long hiatus last night and gave us plenty of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Well, if we substitute "rock n' roll" for "coat check room hookups" then we had it all in spades!

After a long, long (but not long enough?) winter away, our good friends from the Upper East Side have returned to us, dressed all in black and hunting for ghosts. There is no power in the afterlife.

[Taylor Momsen on the Gossip Girl set yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Gold medal-winner Evan Lysacek seeks Dancing with the Stars fame. Gossip Girl Leighton Meester is in an indie drama, as is Lucy Liu. Zach Galifianakis will play an exorcist. The Trade Roundup is proud of all our Olympic athletes.

[Old person Billy Baldwin tells young person Blake Lively a whale of a tale as they film "Gossip Girl"; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Ed Westerlywicker from "A Gossip Girl's Guide to Gossip, Girl" arriving at Fashion Week; image via INF]

[That's Leighton Meester, mister, filming a scene for "Edith Wharton's Gossip Girl" in New York; image Bauer-Griffin]

[Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr and friends at the tents yesterday; image via Splash]

Here's a titillating teaser for the upcoming second-half of Gossip Girl's topsy-turvy third season. The most important details are: 1) Chuck calls a lady a whore because she might be his mom. 2) Vanessa the Bewigged Cavewoman is sans underpants.