Divorces are ugly business. That's what we can learn from today's gossip roundup, which includes Madonna and Guy Ritchie acting like children, Peter Brant taking on Stephanie Seymour's fashion habit and, on another note, the return of Tina Fey's Palin.

Are Jennifer and Brad going to reconcile? Will Nancy Grace eat Jon Gosselin's face? Can Levi Johnston get in shape for Playgirl? And why do women find Jeremy Piven attractive? Welcome, inquisitive reader, to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

Things are getting bad down Tila Tequila way. Claudia Schiffer needs a prayer. And there's gay marriage in a certain Mad Men actor's future. Yes, it's your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!

Erin Andrews offers thanks. Chris Noth's off the market. Kandi Burruss released a statement on AJ's death. And Don Imus remains an optimist. Good morning! It's your Monday morning gossip roundup!

Lindsay Lohan makes her big Paris Fashion Week catwalk debut. Beyonce dad is impregnating women and moving women to the left. Vincent Gallo: still awesome. Liza Minella, Michael Jackson, Padma, Diller, the High Line! Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Kristen Stewart thinks she's boring now sans social life. Oh, honey. Lady Gaga wants Kanye to respect the cock(y decision she made to leave their tour). Jon Gosselin: still a cock. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Being a movie star — or motherhood — makes Sarah Jessica Parker look sleepy. TLC learns its Gosselin lesson. Quentin Tarantino loves sequels. And Katy Perry teaches us the power of tit-pics. TGIF, you attractive devils! It's your gossip roundup!

Elizabeth Edwards may have given up on her marriage. Paris Jackson knows who killed her father. Liz Taylor once tried suicide. And Palin could be trying her hand at beauty. Good morning, sunshine! Here's your Thursday morning gossip roundup!

Some ignorant folk don't think "public speaker" Sarah Palin deserves her outlandishly steep paycheck. Eddie Furlong's hitting the coke pipe. And Penelope Cruz enjoys kissing both Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson. It's your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

Is Kanye West considering rehab? Would Michael appreciate Janet's mournful gesture? Should we all just forget Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic ways? So many questions! Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup....

Pam Anderson's back to her roots. Bethenny Frankel's venturing out on her own. And Jeremy London actually got some press. But it's not good. Happy Monday! Here's your gossip roundup.

The Kardashians are richer than they should be. Michael Douglas: trying to protect his kids from cocaine. Tori Spelling's husband's ex-wife doesn't suck. A celebrity was an asshole. Courtney Love and Hugo Chavez: hooking up? Sunday Morning's Gossip Roundup:

If you expect the results of that headline to be anything but spectacular, stop reading, click past the jump now. Anna Paquin's doggy ring, Khloe Kardashian, Neve Campbell, Snoop Dogg, BBC sitcoms. Presenting your ridiculous Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Michael Jackson saw rivalry in Madonna's eyes, Kelly Rutherford's husband won't be coming near her, and Jude Law's not the best father. All that and more in your Friday morning Gossip Roundup!

John Travolta testifies about the day his son died. Carrie Prejean enjoys playing dress-up. Jude Law has another kid. And you'll never again have to endure Lily Allen's music. All that and much more in your Thursday morning gossip roundup...

Tyra lets it hang out. Paparazzi want to hang Tom and Gisele out for an alleged shooting. And Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr are hanging out with a new baby. Welcome to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

Will Jessica Simpson survive her dog's death? Did Anna Wintour survive sitting next to Pixie Geldof? Did Lindsay know her burglar? Did Anna Nicole's doctors know pills would kill her? Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!

Courtney Love may or may not have been spotted peeing. Mischa Barton may or may not live in reality. And David Hasselhoff definitely got drunk. Welcome to your Monday morning Gossip Roundup!

If sparkly vampires shit in the woods, would you listen? Did Michael Jackson drink Pepsi? Is Amy Winehouse on drugs again? Does being Ashley Durpre get you invited to parties? Is Jay-Z still gangster? Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Megan Fox has super special sexual powers. Avril Lagine's love-life is "komplicayted," or however she spells it. Jon Gosselin is still around. Justin Timberlake's a funny drunk. Babies, rappers, Yokos, McSteamies, and more! Presenting your Rosh Hashana Morning Gossip Roundup.