Christopher Abbott, better (and forever) known as Charlie on Girls, has just announced his abrupt departure from the HBO series, which follows a group of youths with undiagnosed personality disorders as they careen wildly around New York's Brooklyn borough.

After Ann Curry was unceremoniously fired from The Today Show last year, nugget-headed everyman cohost Matt Lauer was demonized as the driving force behind her ouster. But did Lauer really deserve to become morning TV's most hated man? According to a new New York magazine profile by Joe Hagan... yes, he kind of did.

A few years ago, a tiny social network catering exclusively to rich wastrels called ASmallWorld became a momentary fascination of gossip sites like ours, because, hey—an "invitation only" snobby Facebook for rich people? Someone dial up the NYT Style section piece at once! At the peak of its hype, the company attracted Harvey Weinstein as an investor; but ASW's traffic remained flat, and the sheen of the "Myspace for Millionaires" wore off, and he offloaded his stake. Eventually, people who weren't members of ASW stopped hearing about it.

His Wikipedia page remains unchanged, but Marilyn Manson could very well be dead right now.

The world cried out for more words on puppy-rescuing Newark Mayor, New Jersey Senate hopeful and Twitter celebrity Cory Booker, and Buzzfeed has delivered — 5,000 of them, answering the question "Can Cory Booker Keep It Together?" (the answer: Maybe?). Unfortunately, only a handful are devoted the only question anyone really cares about: is he gay? The answer, again, is "maybe?"

The New York Post's Page Six reported today that Tony Danza "freaked out several passengers" in First Class during a weekend flight from New York to Los Angeles after he suddenly yaxied his guts into an air sickness bag.

Demi Moore is down in Miami this week for Art Basel, hanging out with her post-Ashton catch Vito Schnabel. Like any normal American getting over an embarrassing, trying divorce, Moore was seen last night partying at Alex Rodriguez's house with Lenny Kravitz. At the party she was just being a very cool, totally non-embarrassing mom, who just so happened to be putting on an unsolicited audition for the Twerk Team, YouTube's foremost ass-shaking troupe.

Emma Stone may be the latest celebrity to have their sex life laid bare if a RadarOnline report on a possible pre-fame sex tape is to be believed.

Breaking news on the Gomez-Bieber front: last night, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber had dinner together at a Japanese restaurant in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, according to TMZ's highly-trained fleet of spies, the date did not go well, as Gomez allegedly ditched the date after less than 10 minutes. Our own spies in L.A. (just trust me), overheard the entire conversation:

You always knew deep down that one day you would be best friends with the cast of Happy Endings. You were positive. Well guess what, you can't and you won't be friends with them because they already know they don't like you.

Kanye West has no problems bragging about Kim Kardashian in his songs, and unsurprisingly that also extends to real life. Earlier this week, Kanye performed at a party for Samsung at Skylight in New York. There, according to the New York Post's very professional gossip hounds, Kanye was being very Kanye.

Joe Simpson, the father of famous person Jessica Simpson, has joined the ranks of some of America's greatest celebrity pastors by coming out to his family and having his affair with a much younger man revealed by gossip rags. Somewhere on South Beach, George Rekers is quietly applauding.

One of the saddest parts of Britney Spears' protracted public meltdown was that her life at the time was in the hands of people who were at best extremely sleazy and at worst plainly manipulative. One of those people was her then-boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, who was a paparazzo, which speaks for itself, really. The other was her manager/"life coach" Sam Lufti, who wormed his way into her life after claiming to have worked for Kevin Federline as private eye. Sounds bulletproof, I know.

Take everything Claus Hjelmbak says about his "good friend" Lindsay Lohan with a grain of salt.

For a while, it looked like the Seal-Heidi Klum divorce was going to be an impressively civil parting of ways.

Old Navy: it's not just for terribly-made ill-fitting clothing and supremely annoying television ads. It's also for helping bring us all the closure we so desperately need. Yes, two decades after anyone cared, Kelly finally went with Dylan — Jennie Garth and Luke Perry are reportedly dating.

Hollywood Communists John Mayer and Katy Perry were photographed out on the town Wednesday evening, when they should have been in their separate homes rooting for Team USA to win gold in NBC's pre-taped Olympic broadcast.

Having lost all sense of reason and purpose for living since his yellow brassiere'd girlfriend was caught rubbing her butt on on the crotch of another, Robert Pattinson is now spending his days holed up in a Country Living nightmare, courtesy of actress Reese Witherspoon, Us Weekly reports.

OK, take this one with a grain of salt — it comes from a British tabloid, so a big grain — but the latest unverifiable rumor in the Kristen Stewart-Robert Pattinson saga is that RPattz wants to have a talk with Liberty Ross, the model wife of the man who had a fling with KStew.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will not share custody of their dog, because people who share custody of pets post-breakup are weird.