Everyone copes with break-ups differently. Some people seek comfort in new relationships. Some people spend all day playing computer games. Some people craft elaborate fictions imagining how people in break-ups are coping.

Via email:

Kristen Stewart has made a cuckold of Robert Pattinson. But how long was the affair going on before she and Sanders got caught? Sources close to Stewart maintained that it started just weeks ago, but also that she and Sanders had only made out; does this look like the arching back of someone who only just made out? No way.

If you've seen the Twilight movies — and my condolences — you know that confrontation between Edward and his romantic rival Jacob generally amounts to a lot of growling and snarls.

Ed. Note: Unfortunately, we were asked to take down the photographs which originally ran with this story. However, since the way Caity's story is constructed requires corresponding images in order for it to make any sort of sense, we've just made Jim Cooke illustrate the ones we originally used. He's very disappointed with the results because he was rushed and insisted we say 'Bad Drawings by Jim Cooke.' But instead we will acknowledge his heroic patience and say that we think his renderings are better than the original photographs taken by some slimy paparazzi person hiding in a tree anyway.

A Georgia man's widow was awarded $3M earlier this month, after it was ruled that a doctor failed to diagnose and treat her husband's heart condition. Luckily, your gossipy neighbor Francine has teamed up with several major news outlets to bring you the real scoop:

Interested in celebrity dick size? Boy, do I have the book for you: Celebrities with Big Dicks like Jay-Z, Liam Neeson, Colin Farrell, and Many More, edited by one Dana Rasmussen. It's out of stock right now on Amazon—I bought the last copy—but you can order one of three used copies available, starting at the low price of $37.73 (plus shipping).

The "bodyguard" is supposedly an ex-cop who's been hired by this actor to guard him from whatever it is he needs guarding from. They've been spotted at numerous NYC spots and it's quite apparent to everyone who knows the actor's tastes that the only part of the body that is being guarded by this individual is the Action Star's penis...

Three young men, to be exact, according to the source. They were all "summoned" to the mogul's apartment for some downlow fun. He was very enthusiastic about giving blow jobs and very effeminate, which is odd, considering his rep as a ladies' man. Our source says that he entertained his visitors "while his assistants typed on their laptops and waited for him to finish."

This recently-engaged actress might be pissed when she finds out her new husband-to-be has more than one piece on the side. This actor is falling back into bad habits and this actress neglects her children. Can no one stay faithful anymore?

This young actress hated her uptight diva costar so much she'd have loud sex on the set to upset her. This couple was a PR set up, but now she's pregnant. This actor got in trouble for getting too hot and heavy with a costar during a sex scene together. Sounds like everyone on set is angry all the time!

This Jersey Shore guido is spending all his cash trying to get in good with this has-been actress that he's always had a crush on. Meanwhile, this actor has a second career as a loan shark. These two might have business together soon.

This teen sensation gets off wearing his famous girlfriend's lingerie under his jeans. This young star had two abortions last year. These three celebs bought their own engagements and these two actors are having problems with public drunkenness. That's probably worse than private transvestism.

This up-and-coming actor is talking to an A-list thesbian who is trying to get in our young man's pants. So far no luck. This celeb has a sex tape and this young star's mom is talking all about her daughter's sexual conquests. She has lots of luck!

This tween star is always fighting with another tween star over boys. This actress has been in a string of abusive relationships and this is the worst yet, and this musician's career is being ruined by booze and drugs. Now that would be a first.

Despite several trips to rehab, this young star is still hitting the substances really hard. This Hollywood tutor has been seducing his famous young charges for years. No wonder some turn to drugs.

This comedian got out of a speeding ticket by making a rather funny joke at the cop's expense. This actress was abused as a child and now likes when her boyfriends get rough. That's no laughing matter.

This award-winning performer went crazy on the DJ at a club for playing a disco remix of one of her departed friend's songs. These married (not to each other) celebs, who had an affair in the past, are planning a project so they can get together again. This A-lister never learned his driver's name. That sounds par for the course.

This Oscar winner blames an on-set injury for why he can't please ladies in bed and another actor had a week-long sex romp with a Real Housewife, but was too stoned to get hard. This friend of Whitney's is back on the drugs and this actress is offering to sleep with directors for work. Let's hope some of the takers aren't limp.

This star ruined an Oscar party when she drunk dialed her recent ex and found out he was with another woman. This celeb hates his famous brother-in-law, this couple has really loud sex on set, and this tween got busy under a table at an Oscar party. Maybe that is what our first star was crying about.