• Does Lindsay Lohan have a beef with Taylor Momsen? At the G-Star show on Tuesday night, LiLo (with sister Ali in tow) refused to pose for pics and then started casting aside seating cards for celebs like Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Gossip Girl emo teen Taylor Momsen. When event staff intervened, Lindsay got all aggro and dropped an F-bomb, naturally. But give the girl a break. She was apparently just trying to position herself near her crush, True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten. [P6, NYDN]
• At the G-Star after-party at the Bowery Hotel later that night, Mischa Barton was a little unsteady on her feet and was slurring her words. She then hit the DJ booth, where she "danced in her own world" for an hour. [P6]
• While other celebs were at Fashion Week, Chris Brown rocked a neon orange vest over, quite appropriately, a wife-beater, back home in Richmond, Virginia. He started his year-long community service for assaulting Rihanna by picking up trash and cleaning police horse stables. Next up, graffiti removal and washing cars! [Us, NYDN]

We hear Perez Hilton had a fun time at The Box last night. Were you there, taking pictures of him? Send them to us now, if you were. Here is the full sighting we received:

Someone whiled away his time on set looking for wild sexual encounters online. His ad is written a bit like a gay blind item though. Is it real? Can the dirty singer and a cheating couple rumors be true? Probably.

• Just as Jude Law is getting ready to play Hamlet on Broadway next month, his most recent baby mama, model Samantha Burke, has her lawyers offering up an exclusive interview and pics of their soon-to-be-born love child. Ah, there's nothing like milking a little publicity. [P6]
• Madonna bailed on Marc Jacobs' after-party at Hiro on Monday eve despite attending his show. Not to worry: Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, and Rachel Zoe were all there, so there were plenty of people to stir up trouble. [NYDN]
• It looks like LiLo has made her 15-year-old sister, Ali, her new partner-in-crime when she goes out to party at night. We have a feeling this isn't going to end well. [MSNBC]
• Michelle Williams opens up about Heath Ledger's death in Vogue's October issue: "After the first year, the pain is less intense; it's less immediate... But every time I really miss him and wonder where he's gone, I just look at [Matilda]," she tells the magazine. [Vogue]

This may be the wildest rumor since Rod Stewart got his stomach pumped, but there's serious buzz in NYC nightlife circles that Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has halted recording on their new album to check into an L.A rehab.

Rubbers, jimmy hats, scumbag—there are a million names for condoms, but this stud doesn't like any of them. This reality star wishes he could use one, and we all need some protection from a toxic starlet.

• Even President Obama has acknowledged (unofficially) that Kanye West's microphone-snatching episode at the VMAs made Kanye a "jackass." Lucky for Jay Leno—and his ratings—Kanye apologized (again) on the comedian's primetime debut last night. "It was rude, period... I'm just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else's hurt," West said. [NYDN, People, Us]
• Topper Mortimer is hooking up with Vogue editor Valerie Boster. (It's about time the dude moved on.) Meanwhile, his ex, Tinsley, is having issues with her new reality show. Producers are trying to drum up other socialites to make appearances since she's not "dynamic enough on her own." [P6]
• Jeremy Piven won't be hugging it out with the Public Theater any time soon. His lawyers have served the venue with a cease and desist over its play, "The Piven Monologues," which details his fishy bailout from "Speed the Plow." [P6]
• Patrick Swayze has died after a 20-month battle with pancreatic cancer. Stars have been paying tribute to the Dirty Dancing star via Twitter, and the old-fashioned way, in released statements. [NYDN, People, Us, Star]

Ashley Dupre and the New York Post have finalized their deal: Ashley will give the Post exclusive interviews and sexxxy exclusive photo shoots in hooker heels. In return, they'll play like they're on her side. Everybody wins, except Ashley Dupre!

Oh, creative differences—it's not just a euphemism for being an asshole on set. This actor and director have split because of a personality clash. Also splitting, a randy model, a three-way-having baller, and an actress and her face.

Secrets. Some are ph-balanced for women, like this Sapphic star about to come out. Some are for men, like the actor hiding a love child. Some are unisex, like a couple keeping their political views hush-hush. We love them all.

• If the daughter of fashion's most powerful figure can't find a job, how are those of us with less cushy connections expected to? Anna Wintour says daughter Bee Shaffer has gone on 24 job interviews since graduating from Columbia last spring, but has yet to receive a single offer. [NYDN]
• Is Tinsley Mortimer finally getting the reality show she's been dreaming about? Let's hope so! [P6]
• The good news: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler had a rendezvous in LA the other night and were acting all lovey-dovey. The bad: Then they got in their cars and drove in totally different directions. [P6]
• Some customer tried to tip the Olsen twins during Fashion's Night Out at Bergdorf last night after they served him a drink. Did the girls keep the money? Give it back? We're going to assume the former for the time being. [NYDN]

Women—you can't live with them, you can't duck their punches. That's true for at least one Hollywood boyfriend. Also putting on the gloves are a star at the plastic surgeon and a wronged actress. It's a knockout!

• Ivanka Trump has a set a date for her wedding to real estate scion Jared Kushner. It will go down on October 25 at—where else?—the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, NJ. Mark your calendars! [P6]
• Emma Watson is doing her best to "blend in" now that she's a freshman at Brown. Which is a little hard to do when you have the paparazzi tracking your every move on campus, clearly. [NYDN]
• The Olsen twins will be bartending this evening at Barneys as part of the festivities planned for Fashion's Night Out. So Mary-Kate must have just been training the other night when she was spotted "chain-smoking and throwing back shots." [P6]
• Ellen DeGeneres has been tapped to replace Paula Abdul as a judge on the ninth season of American Idol. [E!]

It might have tasted like cherry Chap Stick, but these ladies didn't like kissing a girl, so now they're just friends. Not kissing anytime soon are two rival costars and a lonely celeb. Pucker up, everyone!

• Are Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez engaged? The actress was spotted wearing a big diamond on her ring finger this week, which means "either A-Rod is making it official, or Ms. Hudson made some very careless jewelry choices." [NYDN]
• It's the battle of the Bravo reality TV stars on Twitter: Bethenny Frankel says Rachel Zoe is "self-important." Zoe claims Frankel is "insane" and "desperate for attention." Of course, you may find it hard to take sides here, since both of them seem to be making perfectly valid points about one another. [NYDN, Jezebel]
• Poor Gwyneth Paltrow suffered a little wardrobe malfunction while going through security at the Barcelona airport yesterday. [Sun]

We love tearing celebrities down, but it's so much harder when they're doing charity work and helping a family member dealing with a terminal illness. Damn this heart! No sympathy however for a fashion mag whose Twitter password is retarded.

• Relationships: Sean Penn may have a new girlfriend now that he and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing; Nick Lachey appears to have reunited with Vanessa Minnillo; Khloe Kardashian has a new boyfriend; and George Clooney is no longer trying to hide his relationship with Italian TV star Elisabetta Canalis.

Oh, the art world! Like any insular set of people, it's always swirling with the best rumors. The mystery that arty people are currently exploring: has Matthew Barney left his hipster elf wife Björk for sometimes-lesbian painter Elizabeth Peyton?

The S&P 500 is up slightly since the start of June, rising one percent, but we're told Peter Thiel's Clarium Capital is having a much worse time. In fact, the Pay Pal co-founder should avoid thinking about work this weekend.

This guy was in such a rush he didn't even apologize for mowing down fluffy. A beleaguered wife, a warring couple, and a brothel-loving singer better watch out. There is a maniac on the loose!