The internets are ablaze with the controversial question that has come to define our era: Will Britney Spears be the next spokesperson for Bally's Fitness? The rumors started this month, with appropriate denials from the company, Ever since the LA Times broached the topic last week by noting all the time Britney's been spending at the gym with her two trainers, the celebroblogosphere has been on permanent Bally's watch. The company claims they're just helping her get into shape out of concern for her health. And let's hope so. Can you imagine the escape clauses that would have to go into a spokesperson contract with the mentally unstable pop tart?

Yesterday Page Six published a terrible rumor that there's a sex tape floating around featuring Jackass star Bam Margera and the fiancee of the radio personality "Opie," of "Opie and Anthony." Calling into question the sanctity of a radio shock jock's relationship, can you imagine? Now Opie has struck back at the "scumbags of the media" (that's you, Page Six!), offering $100,000 to anybody who can produce the alleged tape. You know what that means: Bam Margera is tearing his apartment upside down right this minute. Kidding! He sounds pretty sure he's on safe ground. After the jump, listen to Opie and Anthony excoriate those with even lower journalistic standards than themselves:

"Who's the gay rapper?" It's been a parlor game in hip hop for years. A short and incomplete list of some of the most common names tossed around: Kanye West, Puffy, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Common, and, of course, lisping, yoga-master rap mogul Russell Simmons. While there are plenty of rumors for each one, most of those guys are suspected, honestly, because of their fashion sense (except Lil Wayne, who kissed a guy). Or because somebody's homeboy's cousin knows this cat who Puffy tried to do a three-way with. Innuendo is king. But now a formerly closeted gay MTV music executive named Terrance Dean is about to release a book—which has been anticipated for more than a year—that he says will out the gay rappers once and for all. Don't be mad, y'all! This could be the chance of a lifetime for one lucky closeted homosexual.

So yesterday we published screenshots of blurry actress Lindsay Lohan's Facebook page. The page has now been either deleted or hidden behind lots and lots of privacy walls, but our images will linger on forever! What can we learn from them? Well, she used her friend/maybe lover DJ Samantha Ronson's last name, she was friends with a reality star Lauren Conrad, a "Hiilary Duff," supermodels Jessica Stam and Lauren Hastings (with whom she is having some sort of spat), former prostitute Jason Preston, internet socialite Cory Kennedy, and lots of other infuriating people. She also tried to explain away some recent drunk-looking photos, by reporting that it was "430 am!!!" In case you haven't had enough, after the jump we've included screenshots of "Wall" postings that Lindsay Ronson left on other people's pages. According to these, she WILL be at Coachella.

Our favorite cocaine-dappled redhead, actress Lindsay Lohan, has a Facebook profile! But it's undercover... She goes by the name "Lindsay Ronson," using the last name of her friend (girlfriend perhaps??), DJ Samantha Ronson. She's friends with Marc Jacobs, his ex-fiancé (and former hooker) Jason Preston, The Hills' Lauren Conrad, model Jessica Stam, random internet socialite Cory Kennedy, and a whole host of other notable idiots. It's funny to see that all these loathsome people are connected, though I guess it makes some perfect cosmic sense in a way. Though maybe they don't all get along. She's friends with a "Hiilary Duff" (a notorious enemy) and, judging by her "Wall," she and model Lauren Hastings seem to be in some sort of fight. Also, as you can see from her "Status," she's totes serious about her new sober living ("It was 430 am!!!" she offers as cryptic explanation for something), even though she's been seen hard partying all over the place. Radar has two theories about the possibly "glassy-eyed" Long Islander). Find her "Wall" after the jump, plus, a profile picture of French toast and Parliament Lights (yum!), from Radar

Julia Allison is sick and tired of the anonymous online critic who maintains a blog devoted entirely to criticizing her. "This woman checks my tumblr, my flickr, my vimeo, my twitter... as well as all of the things my girl friends post, and spends a good portion of her time (time which could otherwise be spent engaged in fun and useful activities, such as tennis, horseback riding or archery!) penning long, bitchy, link-ridden items 'analyzing' my life." Which sounds a lot like a the job description of a Gawker blogger, except the woman in question is anonymous and probably doesn't get paid. Which is outrageous! Star editor-at-large Allison said she knows the identity of her critic and is wondering what to do with it:

Ryan Adams has an on-again, off-again love affair with internet self expression. He had a YouTube page, then decided to take it down. Then the scruffy musician made a Tumblr blog, but tonight it seems he has taken that down too! (You can stop emailing!) He's been writing a lot of poetry the past few days, including one entry involving the words "whore," "slut" and "asshole." You can still read most of his entries in the Google cache, from page 1, page 2 and page 3 of his blog. And you can also rest assured that, before it died, Adams' blog at least made peace with the singer's frighteningly self-bleached hair:

• Actually, we celebrated 4/20.

Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester was spotted having dinner with a "hot male companion" at Lunetta on Broadway, according to Page Six. That's true, as far as it goes, but the report in the Post gossip column left out a few key facts: first, the actress' companion, Chris Rovzar, was a New York reporter working on the magazine cover story on the buzzed-about CW show; the delicate Rovzar, who used to date Patrick Healy of the New York Times, is gay, transparently gay; and the item was phoned in by a publicist for the show, as Rovzar revealed in the article.

CNN reporter Richard Quest, who was busted in Central Park with methamphetamine in his pocket, a rope tied around his genitals and a dildo in his boot, wasn't the only TV news personality arrested and embarrassed for alleged sexual kinks this weekend. Eric Watson (pictured) of NBC17 in Raleigh, North Carolina was taken into custody on charges he spied on a woman who was showering at home. The reporter belongs to the same gym as the woman, and it sounds like he drove the TV station's van to her house. A witness said he worked hard to peep, according to the News & Observer:

Madonna's new album, Hard Candy, comes out on the 29th. Can't wait that long? Geez, what's wrong with you? But, okay, here are here are seven high quality tracks off the album.

Sean Connery might have reprised his role as Indy's dad in the upcoming Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but Harrison Ford put the kibosh on that noise real quick. "I said no, no no no. I'm old enough to play my own father in this one. Sean's only 12 years older than I am. [In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade] I had to play so much younger than I am in order to make it work for him. It was really a strain." More on Ford's rapidly olding oldness after the jump.

Using the trash can drug meth makes a person mighty paranoid. So it was probably fear of having his genitals stolen that moved CNN talker Brian Quest (who is British) to attach them to his neck with a rope sometime before he was busted for possession in Central Park Friday night. But that still doesn't explain the dildo he had stuffed in his boot like a Derringer.

It seems like only yesterday that Gene Hackman was making film magic in The Royal Tenenbaums. But apparently it was a seriously long time ago. In fact, he old thespian hasn't been in a movie so long that he's decided to hang it up altogether. According to a report, he's "quit acting for good, insisting he is too old to land appealing roles. The 78-year-old actor hasn't starred in a film since 2004 comedy Welcome to Mooseport, and although he has never announced his retirement-he couldn't bring himself to return to Hollywood and play 'grandfathers'. Hackman says, 'I guess you could call it retired. I haven't worked for four years now. And I don't miss the business. I miss the process of being on-set with actors when things get cooking. But there's so much crapola in order to get there. It's just too painful." More sad news, plus a classic Hackman moment, after the jump.

I was even more booze-waggled than usual when I sat down last night to watch another installment of Battlestar Galactica's final season on the Sci-Fi channel. You see, I was making my way through the 2nd Avenue F train stop around 9:30 to escape filthy Manhattan for my beloved Queens when a familiar, gravelly voice, called, "Spiegelman!" It was none other than my fellow former Page Sixer, Chris Wilson. We hadn't seen each other in at least a year so, naturally, much more drinking ensued. But I did make it home for the midnight showing. And dutifully jotted the following:

Page Six's item earlier this week about first daughter Barbara Bush's attendance at a New York Rangers game, and the accompanying wholly unsubstantiated speculation that maybe she's dating a Rangers player, prompted a sports blogger to engage in some journalism (take that, Washington Post!). He dug deep in the photo archives and uncovered the haunting connection between Barbara Bush and the hockey team: Style.com writer, socialite, and Fifth Column Of The Gaydom Derek Blasberg!

Marc Jacobs' pole-vault-loving companion Austin A has issued a very unnecessary clarification: He and fashion designer Jacobs are not an exclusive couple. "I wouldn't say we're dating," Austin told GaySocialites.com, where by dating he meant only screwing each other. Yes, I think the description "boy toy" sort of implies a less-than-exclsive relationship, especially where libertine Jacobs is concerned. But you should root for Austin A because he's the boy toy with a heart of gold:

Macho actress Michelle Rodriguez, on how she deals with reporters or bloggers who speculate on her sexuality: "I picture them turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off." [Latina via Towleroad]

Bronson Van Wyck (pictured in white) is a blueblood, Yale-educated NYC event planner whose firm is known for staging fahbulous parties for everything from high society weddings to political rallies. But according to one reliable tipster, he's also a cheapskate who recently tried to scam his way into a cut-rate gym membership by rigging a charity auction. The full email detailing the party boy's underhanded plan to save himself $600 at Equinox, after the jump.

Care for some cold clafoutis from Balthazar? How about old gossip? Today's "blind item" in the Daily News had juicy hookup details regarding Star's Julia Allison and Men's Health's Dave Zinczenko.
The health-code-violating gossip, as we pointed out, was way old—the pair broke up last May! Allison hastens to add, "Dave and I dated a year ago, and although we remain good friends, he's happily ensconced in a relationship... we haven't dined at Balthazar in over a year." She had one last thing to say regarding Dave: "The measure of a man is how he treats you when he's no longer fucking you." In this, Julia Allison is right. (Excerpted IM convo follows.)