• There was no shortage of drama at the Grammys last night. Chris Brown and Rihanna were both no-shows after Brown was arrested for allegedly assaulting the R&B singer. Usher failed to appear, too, flying down to Brazil to be with his wife, who suffered complications from a plastic surgery operation. One person who did make it to the show was M.I.A., who performed on stage with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, T.I., and Kanye West despite being nine months pregnant. [NYP, People, EW]
• Courtenay Semel says she's been cut off by her dad, former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, and is now trying to land a reality show to pay the bills. [NYP]
• Salman Rushdie's new girlfriend is Pia Glenn, who's 29 years his junior. [R&M]
• Peaches Geldof and rocker Max Drummey are said to be divorcing after just six months of marriage. [The Sun]

She kept awards-show fashion "rock and roll," was "kinda real," "legendary" and "fierce" on stage and committed no natal errors. Other than not taking home an award, M.I.A. had a great Grammy night.

We'd love to believe Vogue's editor personally styled singer Adele for the Grammys out of the goodness of her heart (humor us). But Anna Wintour is nothing if not strategic.

He never made it to the Grammy Awards stage, but Chris Brown's performance Sunday could become an example of how to wreck one's career in record time.

• News Corp. posted a $6.4 billion loss for the quarter after writing down half the value of Dow Jones, which it purchased in 2007. [Reuters, BN]
• The Wall Street Journal is laying off 14 people and will also be closing the newspaper's fashion bureau. [E&P, FWD]
• Rupert Murdoch says he has no plans to buy the Times. [E&P]
• The Grammys are on Sunday; here's what you can expect to see. [CNN]
• Chesley Sullenberger will be on 60 Minutes this weekend. [NYP]
• Congrats, ESPN! Sarah Palin says she named her baby in honor of the cable network's hometown of Bristol, Connecticut. [HuffPo]

Rapper—uh, excuse me: artist—M.I.A. is due to give birth to her first kid on Sunday. She's also due to perform on the Grammy's that night. She figures she'll be late, so she's gonna perform.

The moody pop/performance-art troupe Coldplay is getting ready for one of the biggest weekends of its career, rehearsing Grammy acceptance speeches even as its members prepare to dodge Joe Satriani's legal wrath.

• Tory Burch appears to have lost her shot at winning the title of Mom of the Year: On a flight from Miami to NYC, the designer/society staple was spotted lounging in first class while her kids and nanny had to make do with coach. [P6]
• Olivia Palermo still seems to think her gig on MTV's The City is going to help her become a "serious actress," poor thing. [P6]
• Tom Cruise was photographed touching Katie Holmes' stomach, so obviously she must be pregnant, no? [OK!]
• Paris Hilton is in London this week. And she's providing lots of entertainment to the British public. She's already announced that she has no plans to choose Amy Winehouse as her new BFF, she doesn't know who the country's prime minister is, and she isn't planning to date Prince Harry out of "respect" for Chelsy Davy. [TS, DM, Hello]

The pungent scent of hot sulphur at Defamer HQ this morning can mean only one thing: Grammy Hell is bearing down on us, heralded as well by hosts Taylor Swift, LL Cool J and the rest of the wailing demon legion populating last night's first-ever primetime nomination special at the Nokia Theater. And what did their baleful cries portend? We're gonna get more Coldplay performance art!

♦ Anna Wintour has responded to rumors she's leaving Condé Nast: "I have no plans to leave American Vogue now or in the foreseeable future." [NYO]
♦ Chris Matthews could be seriously considering quitting MSNBC to run for Senate. Or he could be using it as a negotiating tactic. [Politico]
♦ The Grammy noms were announced last night, in case you missed it. [AP]
♦ NBC has halted production of Knight Rider. [THR]
♦ More on the changes afoot at Random House. [NYO]
♦ ABC will air Homeland Security USA, a reality show produced in cooperation with the Department of Homeland Security, in January. Really. [NYT]

Nominees for the 51st Grammy Awards were announced. Big winners: Coldplay (seven nominations), Lil Wayne (eight nominations, white nerds are gonna flip), Jazmine Sullivan (new R&B singers gets five noms) and M.I.A., nominated for record of the year (Idolator: "!!!!!!!!"). For the latter, stock up on cave-aged gruyere for the dressing room and prepare the cameras for an ultra-close-up during any self-undermining comments from the singer about how she has so not sold out the struggle (and performance too plz?). Robbed:

♦ It's confirmed: Sarah Palin will appear on Saturday Night Live tomorrow. [NYDN]
♦ Yet another tragic consequence of the economic meltdown: Suze Orman is making money off the crisis with big-money endorsement deals. [WSJ]
♦ Playboy is cutting costs. How? With energy-efficient lightbulbs, naturally. [WWD]
♦ The Grammy nominations—not the actual awards, mind you—will be a TV special. [NYT]
♦ A hiring freeze is now in place at Condé Nast. [NYP]

Though Herbie Hancock delivered a huge upset by capturing the Album of the Year Grammy that clearly belonged to criminally underappreciated superstar Kanye West and Amy Winehouse selfishly distracted from his four-win night by hoarding five statuettes that would have looked much better upon the humble rapper's mantle (not to mention Winehouse's attention-whore hijacking of the ceremony's precious screentime via satellite), West would, in the end, have his Big Moment, even if he had to fight for it like he's had to battle for every scrap of recognition the System tries to withhold from him.

The highlight of yesterday's lame music awards show: a performance by a singer who wasn't even there, Amy Winehouse, who had been denied a US visa, and was still technically in rehab. Yes, that's how far the Grammys have fallen. [Culture Vulture]

"On top of it all, Mr. Obama beat out Bill Clinton for a Grammy, winning the spoken word award for the audio-book version of his memoir, 'The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream.'" [NYT]

Kanye West is a man who has nobly borne cruel indignities with quiet grace. Like when he stormed the stage of the MTV Europe awards and threw a tantrum because his video that had him "jumping across canyons" wasn't recognized as a masterpiece. That show, of course, lost "credibility" by stiffing him. The Grammys weren't about to take that risk. They gave Kanye an appropriately respectful number of awards, but made the mistake of trying to cut one of his acceptance speeches short with background music. Don't the producers know that his mother just died? That means he will talk as long as he wants, damn the world. Is it just us or... tacky much? The "MAMA" haircut and Mama tribute song probably would have sufficed. Watch his humble appeal to good taste and decide for yourself.

Indie Canadian singer Leslie Feist got all dressed up for the Grammys, then got shut out 0-4 for Best New Artist, Best Female Pop Vocal, Best Pop Vocal Album and Best Short Form Music Video. Depressing enough. But then she had to get up and perform for all the ungrateful LA schlubs who voted against her, and she just wasn't in to it. Can you blame her? Entertainment Weekly wrote, "Feist seems kind of freaked out... She's going for minimal eye contact." One of her fellow Canadians wrote, "maybe she's just isn't ready for that 'major global spotlight." Decide for yourself after the jump.

Are you so super-excited for The 50th Annual Grammy Awards tonight? Yeah, us neither really. But we're going to watch anyhow because, like the rest of the world, we are sick sick people. It's important we be able to tell our children we caught every minute of cracky Amy Winehouse's live satellite performance as it happened! We were there for Britney's slurry performance last year and we felt better about ourselves for weeks afterwards. If Winehouse pulls this whole thing off, we're probably going to have start seeing our shrink again.

Our complete and utter disinterest in the Grammys has become something of a Defamer tradition, with the mainstream music industry's most celebratory night of public self-diddling requiring of us zero emotional investment, thus greatly reducing the risks being forced to launch a mug of Kahlua at our TV sets after a particularly unjust upset. The Dixie Chicks are the best band on the planet? Sure, why not. That said, the 2008 nominees have been announced:

While virtually our only memory of last night's Grammys telecast involves Justin Timberlake face-fucking a handheld video camera in an attempt to translate his performance into a more YouTube-ready format, an operative who was in attendance jogs our memory about a blink-and-you-missed-it Paris Hilton appearance we'd forgotten about, offering a look at how her two seconds of screen time was made possible: