Fresh off the pseudo-legitimization of their Kanye West-Kim Kardashian "backshots" sex pictures, MediaTakeout is touting "EARTH-SHATTERING SUPER EXCLUSIVE" photos of "two celebs... getting some BOOTY LOVE!!!"

It's semi-official: Katie Couric is leaving as the CBS Evening News anchor. Although only old people watch evening newscasts, the position still carries a definite cultural cachet. Who's next? We handicap, below.

Jeff Zucker and Jon Klein: gone. Who's next? David Westin, re-resigning in sympathy? You guess!

It's your lucky day, Gawker readers, because we are running one of our patented "contests," and the winner of the dubious prize could you be you! This one involves Conde Nast. But any idiot can enter. It's easy.

Baz Luhrmann takes a long time to make a movie. His Australia came out seven years after Moulin Rouge!, which came out five years after Romeo + Juliet. The gestation periods are so long that nothing is ever set in stone, in terms of his future projects, until cameras have started rolling. Which is why we chuckle a bit and scratch our heads when Nikki Finke says that the Aussie is definitely doing a Great Gatsby movie for his next endeavor. Nothing is ever definite with this man! Look at some other Luhrmann rumors that haven't—but may still!—come to fruition.

Thus far, Riches star Minnie Driver has given the public three wildly different answers to anyone inquiring who knocked up the card-carrying member of that annoyingly massive Celebrity-Slash-Singer subset. Among the potential baby daddies she's flung out into the media’s clutches? The Easter Bunny, musician Craig Zolezzi, and yes, God him or herself. And six months into her pregnancy, Driver has defiantly and coyly kept her lips sealed, until now. In a recent interview with the UK’s Independent, she finally released two very telling details: the guy is British, and "sort of in the same business." Our guesses lie after the jump, but we leave it to you, loyal Defamer readers, to solve the mystery:

Who is Melora Wolff talking about in yesterday's Modern Love? She talks about a summer production of Three Sisters many years ago, in which the role of Tuzenbach was played by a young movie star. A young movie star with whom she had a sensual affair. Now she sits at home, watching DVDs of his "popular TV drama" and remembers his young, taut body. Honestly, I couldn't really tell if this was lurid or lovely or both. Either way, I really wanted to know the identity of this famous former flame. After some light research, I have a theory. Someone big in the 80's. Who do you think? [NYT]

Which smoking-hot young TV actress started on her way in the industry by bedding one of the least attractive 'SNL' cast members while still in college?

In today's Gatecrasher column, Ben Widdicombe implies that someone is gay, for a change.

This is how bone-dry the goss well was this week: Us Weekly's cover story was about how celebrities are on the drugs. Among the revelations inside: "While in the field, Us reporters often run across celebrities doing everything from smoking pot to snorting lines of cocaine at both private and public parties and clubs." Nuh UH! The article is bracketed by 'blind' items about druggy stars; as a friend of ours puts it, "guessing these is like our very own version of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader." See how you stack up to a fifth grader after the jump!

A middle-aged—"Ok, somewhat old"—Williamsburg author is looking for an assistant who will give him or her "access to the lives of the type of local residents who look like Karen O. or Conor Oberst and who do cool things that will be subject matter for the kind of work today's publishers demand." We suspect that someone—maybe Craig himself!—is just fucking with us at this point.

Nose breaking: it's all the rage! And speaking of, you know what else is all the rage? Coke-fueled rage! At least, according to today's Gatecrasher column.

You know us: we're too classy to be about "outing" people. (Unless we've slept with them. Or our friends have. Or their friends.) Ben Widdicombe, on the other hand—well, shame on him!