Good news on the oil spill front! Not only is BP's "static kill" tactic apparently working, there's a new report from the U.S. government saying that the oil in the Gulf of Mexico "poses only a slight risk." Huzzah!

The newest figures on the size of the BP oil spill place it at 4.9 million barrels, or 205.8 million gallons.

"Static kill," the first step to permanently plug the BP oil spill, could begin tomorrow.

The Times of London, citing sources "close to the company," says that BP CEO Tony Hayward will resign before October 1, because everyone hates him, except for his family (probably). BP is denying the report. [CNN]

In addition to "seepage" detected at four sites around the well, small amounts of oil and gas are leaking from the new containment cap, and BP may try to kill the well again. Where's well assassin Pat Campbell? [Washington Post]

Remember the heady days of last weekend, when it seemed that BP had finally capped the leaky oil well? So much for that! Government tests yesterday detected a "seep a distance from the well." [Bloomberg; pic: AP]

It's been three days since BP's latest oil well cap was fitted, and so far no evidence of further leakage has been found. BP is hopeful the cap will contain the oil until a relief well is finished next month.

BP reports there is currently no more oil leaking into the Gulf. About damn time!

Oil spill update! BP's awesomeness continues: The company has decided to reduce the payments to around 40,000 "individuals whose claims files were incomplete." But rest easy... BP is also fitting a new well cap and is claiming "progress."

Cross your fingers: BP and the government will put a new containment cap over The Leak this weekend that could fully contain—not "stop"—the oil. There will, however, be a period of free-flowing oil during the transition.

Why remove the oil beneath the sand along Gulf beaches when you can just let it sit there forever? It's not hurting anyone. That's the thinking of some "experts," at least. What you can't see won't hurt you!

Want to hear some pretty disturbing news? The Gulf of Mexico has at least 27,000 abandoned oil and gas wells, and no one has bothered to check if they are leaking. Some even date back to the 1940s.

Tar balls from the BP spill hit beaches around Galveston, Tex. for the first time this weekend. It may have travelled via boat. Or, it has become sentient, and heard Galveston was nice. [Houston Chronicle; picture, of Florida, via AP]

[Today the BP oil spill will become the biggest ever in the Gulf of Mexico, with 140 million gallons of crude already spilled. In other news, the toxic Hurricane Katrina FEMA trailers are being resold to spill cleanup workers! Getty]

Shares in BP dropped to a 14 year low today on the London FTSE after the company announced that it had already spent $2.35 billion on the Gulf oil spill. Most of that money was spent on cleanup crews. [Guardian]

The president of Transocean Ltd, owner of the leaky Deepwater Horizon oil rig, Steven Newman said today that Obama's "arbitrary six-month time limit" on new offshore oil drilling should be lifted, because companies like his are responsible, honest and competent.

BP says it has already spent $2 billion on the Gulf oil spill, and it wants the well's shit talking co-owners Anadarko Petroleum to chip in. At this rate, that $50 billion fund will be gone real fast. [AP, Getty]

America's only escapist pleasure during this endless oil spill has been yelling at and making fun of dour BP CEO Tony Hayward. What a dork! But now the fun's over, because Hayward will no longer manage operations in the Gulf.

An oceanographer from the National Center for Atmospheric Research says oil from the ongoing Gulf of Mexico spill will reach the Atlantic by October at the latest. [Wired; image via Getty]

Scientists are studying the carcass of a 25-foot "sub-adult" sperm whale found in the Gulf of Mexico to see if it's oil spill-related. We all knew local wildlife would be devastated, but who knew it would all happen so fast?