Chicago Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy says a nine-year-old boy was “‘lured’ from a park into an alley and executed” as part of escalating, retaliatory gang violence, according to a devastating report from the Associated Press.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, goes Wayne LaPierre’s axiom, is a good guy with a gun. What if the bad guy’s gun is fake? Another shopworn motto for gun-lovers applies: kill ‘em all, and let god sort ‘em out.

A man accused of masturbating near a woman in a Manhattan subway station Monday night, then pulling a gun on man who tried to catch him on video, has been arrested and identified as a retired NYPD cop.

A woman accused of shooting at two alleged shoplifters as they drove away from a Home Depot parking lot last week will face charges, Oakland County, Mich. prosecutors announced Tuesday.

Back in June, Texas approved a “campus carry” law that would allow anyone with a license to bring a concealed handgun onto the state’s public university campuses. It goes into effect August 1, 2016—that is, unless some good guys with big dildos manage to stop it.

Three were injured and one was killed in an early morning shooting today at Northern Arizona University, according to officials. The AP reports the suspected shooter, 18-year-old freshman Steven Jones, is in custody.

A woman with a gun and a concealed-carry license opened fire on a shoplifter Tuesday afternoon as security chased the man out of an Auburn Hills, Mich. Home Depot, the Detroit Free Press reports. No one appeared to be injured, and the shooter is cooperating with police.

The other day, there was a mass shooting in the United States. The president said, entirely accurately:

America is the world’s richest and most powerful country. That’s why our democratic election process is the envy of the lesser, more civilized world.

Until today, Donald Trump’s campaign website had a “positions” page that outlined his stance on just a single issue: immigration. (Deport every undocumented person and build a wall along the border with Mexico.) Now he’s got a second position, on gun control. Congratulations, Donald! Chugging right along.

Instagram’s walking Entourage, Dan Bilzerian, enjoys many things—money, women, hurling women off his roof—but perhaps the thing he enjoys most is firearms. He owns many, many guns, and they’re quite well-documented on his social media accounts. That’s how an alleged burglar or burglars must have known right where to go during a break-in at Bilzerian’s leased Hollywood Hills mansion Friday night.

A woman who pulled a gun on three teenagers in a suburban St. Louis park last Wednesday claimed it was just for self-defense, but said she would have used the weapon if she had to. The incident was the climax of a neighborhood dispute that had been building since earlier that day, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported.

John McAfee, an entrepreneur once associated with antivirus software and now associated with drugs and tropical murder accusations, is back in the news for illicit reasons. Police in his new home of Tennessee just busted McAfee for DUI and gun possession.

On Sunday, Rick Perry attempted to stand out from the (already spectacularly incompetent) pool of GOP hopefuls with one of the dumbest responses to the Lafayette shooting yet. In an interview with CNN, the Texas governor said that “it makes a lot of sense” to allow more people to carry guns into gun-free zones like movie theaters.

Louisiana’s Republican governor, Bobby Jindal, told Fox and Friends Friday morning that he’s suspending his presidential campaign in light of the shooting that killed three and injured nine Thursday night at a movie theater in his home state.

On Friday, in a deal with the State Senate’s Republican majority, Governor Andrew Cuomo (alignment: chaotic evil) agreed to suspend a plan requiring background checks on ammunition sales. This would seem to undermine at least in part the signature gun control measures he passed in his first term as governor.

The rules of beer pong vary from region to region—Is blowing allowed? When can you rerack the cups? What should we pee on and whose dad is getting us all jobs after graduation?—but it’s universally understood that defenders should create a distraction while their opponents are shooting. That distraction probably shouldn’t be a gun, though.

A former CNN anchor was caught in the middle of a motel room shootout when her husband emerged from the bathroom to find a man holding her at gunpoint Tuesday.

Sure, the Queen’s Guard look approachable with their funny hats and their silly formations, but don’t you even try it!!!!!!

National Rifle Association board member Charles Cotton blamed Clementa Pinckney, a state senator and pastor at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, for his own death and for the death of his parishioners in Charleston this week, Thinkprogress reports.