Americans, who are unforgiving pussies about the kinds of foods they'll eat, are set to be repulsed and disgusted by a new meal: The decades-long ban on imported haggis—a Scottish delicacy made from sheep's meat stuffed inside a sheep's stomach—might be getting lifted soon. Run for the hills.

Yesterday we received a press release. It declared, "Hello! I recently found your blog post about Haggis and want to introduce you to our website." Oh? Which blog post was that?