Every now and again, new cultural correspondent (his title for at least the duration of this item) Ryan will be dropping by to toss some posts into our blog-mix. Today, he shares the photo-assisted recollections of a Halloween evening in which he learned why you never challenge a guy in an ape costume to a Wild Turkey-drinking contest.
While we were swarmed by Bob Dylans at the Bowery, the hardest working man in the shutter business, Nikola Tamindzic, was party hopping. He hit up the dance party Shindig, Michael T's Motherfucker and the"culturally revolutionary" Flavorpill party. According to Nikola, "There were a whole lot of nurses and sexy pirates, Amy Winehouses and Karl Lagerfelds. Strangely I didn't see any iPhones." (He did see some seriously NSFW stuff which is here) . And with that, let's all say goodbye to another great Gay Christmas!
Last night we ended up at a party at the Bowery Hotel called Werewolf Bar Mitzvah. At 11 p.m., the line outside stretched past the Renewal on Bowery homeless shelter all the way to the N.Y.U. dorms. Mary Kate Olsen was on the dance floor. She looked to be dressed as Ashley! But it could have been the other way around! We were forbidden to ask by a bodyguard. [Photo of "Barry Manilow" by The Cobra Snake]
Last night on the streets of New York, gallons of fake blood were spilled; thousands of wigs donned and millions of particles of glitter fell from slutty angels, slutty nurses, slutty penguins, slutty blackface, slutty David Bowies, and slutty sluts. Nikola Tamindzic roamed the Halloween battlefield looking for the best, or at least the most revealing, costumes. He did not get knifed or gunned!
Happy All Saints Day everyone! You're probably psyched to hit up some bitchin' All Saints parties tonight, right? Thankfully, the New York Times' "Urban Eye" newsletter has a hot lineup of tonight's events for all your Hollowmas revelry needs. Here's the final item in today's mailing, sent out today, Thursday, November 1, at 7:45 a.m.
If you were downtown last night at 1 a.m., perhaps you noticed the insane volume of the siren of every emergency vehicle in the city converging on somewhere? Now we know that they were all headed to Union Square, where four people were shot and one was stabbed not long after midnight. The Daily News says 4 to 6 shots fired and hundreds of fleeing people in the park; the Post says 8 shots. No one was killed—but, adding insult to injury, some of the poor shootees were taken to Bellevue Hospital.
Which hipster-nightlife photographer totally named Merlin Bronques threw a major hissy fit in front of the elevators at the incredibly boring Shindig party last night? "What the fuck is your problem," he shrieked, violently jabbing the 'down' button. "I told you to hold the fucking door for me!" Dude. It's just Halloween. ("Last Night's Party is so not even cool anymore," muttered a girl in the elevator. Harsh!)
· Our friend People Paula has compiled a list of more trashy Halloween costumes than you can shake a slut at.
· Finally, someone stepped up to the plate on the Writers Strike costume. Though we will be sending him a bill for the use of our StrikeWatch logo.
· If one look at Gawker's Halloween costume chart doesn't drive you completely insane, chances are you're already crazy.
· Jerry Seinfeld reminds Hollywood about his fuck-you money.
· Thighs Wide Shut offers a heartfelt goodbye to Robert Goulet.
Regardless of what your Halloween plans might entail, chances are pretty good that you'll eventually come face to face with the compressed, Lycra-silhouetted junk of at least one dude dressed as a superhero. Pretty on the Outside decided to grade some of the shrink-wrapped celebrity shlong on display this haunting season, giving head-of-the-class marks to Brody "The Hills" Jenner's shapely, right-bending manhood.
For the truly last-minute shoppers among us, our brave Intern Mary has looked at the top 220 Halloween costumes for women on Amazon and eBay. Would you like to be a sexy witch? A plus-size witch? A Bavarian woman? A sexy firewoman? A sexy bumblebee? A sexy tinwoman? THAT IS JUST A FEW OF THE 220 OPTIONS THAT YOU HAVE!
Alex Goldberg and I went and harassed the last-minute lunch break costume shoppers outside the big Halloween store on lower Broadway. They are all being either a "pirate" or a "sex instructor" basically! Also a lot of people were being "assholes who are too important to answer one simple question." Halloween: High stress, low stakes!
Our spy cameras have penetrated the inner sanctum of the Googleplex! Sneaking up on Brad Fitzpatrick from behind, we caught a picture of his "epic" Halloween costume. "He is dressed as one of Google's largest fears!" an informant whispers. What could his dread outfit be? Who makes Larry and Sergey sweat?
In all the strike deadline hysteria, we've barely had a moment to acknowledge that today is an (egregiously not nationally recognized) holiday. It's Halloween, everyone—the spookiest, scariest celebration of the year! And on The View, that usually means stuffing Barbara Walters into some sort of sex-kitten outfit. This year's theme—which we think was Ill-Fitting Cotton Club Costume Rentals?—gave Walters an excuse to talk about her club impresario father Lou Walters, a touching, grandmotherly reminiscence about a simpler time, when you could get a steak, a sidecar, and an unobstructed view of a showgirl's rack all for a nickel.
We hear that Brad Fitzpatrick, the LiveJournal creator recently hired by Google, has an "epic" costume. Well, we heard that from Fitzpatrick, actually. "Yo, rumor is you need to go down to Google and get a pic of Brad Fitz's costume," a mutual friend IMs. A drive down to Mountain View isn't really in the cards. But is there a helpful coworker who might break the Googleplex's dark veil of security and send Valleywag a photo? We'd be most obliged. And we promise not to rat you out to the Goostapo. (Photo by Randal Alan Smith)
Sony's all-horror all-the-time website and video on demand service FEARnet presents BURIED ALIVE, which is a terrifying show about people who are buried alive! It is the future of digital media entertainment!
Hey, what are you being for Halloween? It falls in the middle of the week this year, which is lame, but this is New York, so please do go ahead and dress up as Amy Winehouse in order to sit on your stoop and pass out candy to children! Other decent ones we have heard:
