If you're looking for a couple of lovable pets, who happen to be gay, are you ever in luck! Those Salon writers who want gay sons will probably jump all over this so hurry up and save them from the hands of crazy people! Give these little gay furballs a home! [Craigslist]

As much as we bemoan the dearth of good roles for women, minorities and Coreys, things have really never been worse for gerbils. But a change may be in the offing as early as this weekend, when one lucky hamster has the chance to break the fluorescent-plastic ceiling en route to the A-list:

· The Michael Richards Apology Tour is finally making a stop where he gets to say he's sorry in person to the people he actually menaced with his racist harangue about inverted forkings.
We recommend that if you think you might be offended by a pit bull vomiting after humping another pit bull, you instead opt for this adorable hamster video.
How did DeVito get so drunk before his appearance on The View? The Cloonster tells all.
· Tom Cruise buys a place near the UK mothership, and is almost certainly not going to be paid to sing anything.
· This is a slideshow consisting of nothing more than photos of Britney Spears with black bars placed on various parts of her body. Sound stupid? Yup, it is. But you're just bored enough to go through every single one, we know you are.