Our lazy, undercover Muslim president, Barack Obama, is having a picnic on the beach today.

So, there was an election in Iraq today. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad became a 9/11 truther. And Al Qaeda's spokesman, Azzam the American, may have been captured! Here's all the stuff you missed while ogling the red carpet.

Jill Abramson is technically the managing editor of the New York Times for "news," but in response to this wild modern media age, she has been transferred to the "puppies are cute" beat, full time.

As Ben Smith points out, had a non-conservative non-lady said this, it would probably score almost as high on the outrage-meter than some cesspool blog gloating over identity theft. Still. Here's Bloomberg's Caroline Baum explaining that Hillary voters won't flock to Sarah Palin just because she has tits. Yes, she actually says tits. Then everyone giggles for like ten minutes and also a goofy sound effect is played. [Ben Smith/Politico]

Liberation is running a poll about who is the hottest male newscaster on Web3. Because nouns are gendered in French (which I speak fluently! Paw grand shows) the gays are mad because the poll is only for les lectrices (female readers.) Maybe they're also mad because none of these dudes are really good looking at all. Except the dude on the left who kind of looks like Pavement bassist Mark Ibold who is handsome. [Liberation]