Harold Ford's recent night out at the Waldorf-Astoria took an apparently unwelcome turn. (Alt. headline: Harold Ford announces his intention to be New York's dog.) [TAP via Wonkette]

It sounded, this morning, like former imaginary Senate candidate Harold Ford really wished he was actually running for office. But that will pass, and soon he'll be grateful. Because now his life can go back to the way it was.

Because he wants the Democrats to hold on to the New York Senate seat, Harold Ford is... bashing the incumbent, on national TV, and claiming the seat is in great danger of going to a Republican.

Harold Ford: Out. It is with great sadness we report that mediocre rich Tennessee person Harold Ford has pre-dropped out of the New York Senate race. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

This is the depressing state of affairs in New York, in 2010. The various monsters and morons currently running-without-running for statewide office include Andrew Cuomo, Harold Ford, Mort Zuckerman, and, yes, Larry Kudlow.

Wherever Harold Ford pays his taxes, he pays a lot of them. He makes soooooo much money! When he started in 2007 as vice chairman, Merrill Lynch "Guaranteed" Ford $2 million/year for his work getting government bailouts and stuff. [NYT]

Just for future reference, would-be candidates: if you're speaking to the Stonewall Democrats, you should know what Lawrence v. Texas is. Harold Ford did not. (Harold, that was the landmark Supreme Court decision that struck down anti-sodomy laws.)

Political genius and shadow Senate candidate Harold Ford has called on New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand to release her tax returns, but says he doesn't have to do the same because he hasn't "announced" his candidacy yet. It's the rule!

Harold Ford needs a better agent. He's got a plum gig speaking in Bermuda to a bunch of tax-dodgers next month, but in April he goes to Vegas to talk about chickens. As long as the check clears, right?

Who exactly does Mayor-for-life Mike Bloomberg want to be our next Senator? First we're told that his influential friends convinced a bank-loving conservative Democrat from Tennessee named Harold Ford to run. Now, suddenly, he wants million-year-old hack publisher Mort Zuckerman?

After six glorious days, the festival of incompetent flackery that was the "Harold Ford Doesn't Pay His Taxes" story is over. Ford's spokesman has finally told us, on the record, that Ford filed New York returns in 2007 and 2008.

Harold Ford was on Meet the Press yesterday, and claimed to have paid taxes on "all New York income" for the last two years. Which is precisely the opposite of what he said last week.

We reported this morning that Harold Ford had never filed a New York tax return because that's precisely what his spokeswoman Tammy Sun told us. Now she's trying to backpedal, and, we hear, lying to other reporters about our story.

• NBC's coverage of the Winter games began on somber note today. [LAT]
• Vogue's on a roll! Not only was Tina Fey's scar airbrushed off the cover of the March issue, the mag screwed up the letter sent out to promote it, too.
• Harold Ford has taken a leave of absence as a political analyst for NBC while he decides whether to try and carpetbag his way to a Senate seat. [NYO]
• Ellen DeGeneres is the new Oprah Winfrey, apparently. [NYT]
• Project Runway contestants showed their work at Fashion Week today. [AP]
• Madonna will make a rare TV appearance as a "marriage referee" on Jerry Seinfeld's forthcoming reality show. Here's hoping she won't be asked to dispense advice on how to keep a marriage together. [Reuters]
• On the off chance you're interested in taking part in a reality TV show, you may wish to note that there's now a job board for that very purpose. [Wrap]
• Is 82-year-old Condé Nast boss Si Newhouse a Lady Gaga fan? Indeed! [P6]

While we wait for Harold Ford to explain how he's avoided filing a New York tax return while working in New York, he's preparing to jet off for Bermuda. To address a group that lobbies for tax evaders, er, avoiders.

When it comes to his shadow run for Senate, Harold Ford is a New Yorker through and through. When it comes to paying taxes, though, he's still a Tennessean — he's never filed a New York return.

Harold Ford has defended himself against carpetbagging by saying "I pay taxes there, and once you pay taxes there, you feel like a New Yorker." So why won't he say whether he's ever filed a New York tax return?

• Suzanne Sheik, the jewelry designer and mother of singer Duncan Sheik, has dropped the price of her 7,000-square-foot townhouse at 132 East 62nd Street. The five-story building, which Sheik bought from the estate of late socialite Phyllis Cerf Wagner for $8.5 million in 2007 and first listed for $17.5 million last year, is now priced at $15.5 million. [Cityfile, Stribling]
• Hedge funder Anand Desai and his wife, Erica, have paid $12 million for a 17th-floor, 5,000-square-foot condo at 15 Madison Square North. [NYO]
• Real estate developer Elizabeth Rad has put her four-bedroom loft at 166 Duane Street up for sale again. The 4,800-square-foot spread has been on and off the market since 2007, and is now listed for $8.4 million. [Cityfile, SE]
• Harold Ford and his wife, Emily Threlkeld, are looking to unload their yellow-hued pad in the Flatiron district. The one-bedroom loft at 105 Fifth Avenue is listed with Kathy Sloane for $1.4 million. [Gawker, BHS]

Harold Ford may or may not remember where he lives, but he certainly knows when he's home—because his eyes are assaulted by a garish array of yellow and turquoise walls. No wonder he's trying to sell it.

Maureen Dowd's column yesterday was a predictably amusing interview with would-be Senator Harold Ford. The funniest line was his bizarre assertion that Eleanor Roosevelt opposed Bobby Kennedy's Senate run from beyond the grave.