Ah, the life of a bar owner. You get to sleep all day, gab with your friends all night, and you never, ever have to pay 12 bucks for a watered down Jack and Coke. In fact, other people pay you for that sad excuse for a drink. Don't you wish you could own a bar when you grow up? Sadly, despite what your first grade teacher might have told you, you can't be whatever your little heart desires. Most of you will have to settle for being ballerinas, or astronauts, or firemen.

Writer's block is a bitch. It can throw you into a pit of despair, nearly drown you in a pool of self-hatred, suffocate you with feelings of failure. But what if one day, you sat down at your trusty typewriter, and tapped out a character so fully-formed, so nuanced, so complex, so entirely lovely and real, that she materialized on your couch?

Performing comedy for the first time — whether it's improv, sketch or standup — can be an intimidating experience, which keeps a lot of would-be first-timers from taking a stab at it. Luckily for panicky novices, though, there are several well-regarded programs that hold your hand through the getting-your-feet-wet process. While conventional wisdom seems to dictate that with standup, it's best to get started by performing at an open mic instead of taking standup classes, sketch and improv lend themselves more to curriculum and classes, and several well-regarded schools have popped up over the past several decades to help wannabe performers get started.

Kevin Smith likes movies the way you like Cheeze Puffs — that is to say, a lot. He likes making movies, he likes watching movies, and he likes talking about movies. Basically, if movies were a pretty lady, he'd want to kiss her a million times. In fact, Kevin Smith likes movies so much, that he's hosting Spoilers, a Hulu Original Series all about how awesome movies are.

You might have noticed that over the past few weeks we've been bugging you to take the 2012 Gawker Media Census. Well, try not to cry too hard, but the most exciting survey on the whole World Wide Web has come to a close. We learned all sorts of fun facts about the 3,495 Gawker fans who responded this year, like how 50% of readers now watch more movies on their computers than they do on TV. So maybe Qwikster wasn't such a terrible idea?

Ahh, first dates. You wash your armpits in the sink, bring extra breath freshener, and study up on the day's trending Twitter topics, and yet you still feel hopelessly unprepared. Well, if you take this quick survey, you could be entered to win a $150 Ticketmaster gift card—the perfect cheapskate way to get two tickets to a really cool event. Take your date out in style, and hopefully you can avoid talking to them completely!

You've already met Kevin Corcoran, one of New York's ye olde finest, and his cohorts and consorts. And you've already received your map of present-day relics of NYC's bloody past. Now it's time to go behind the scenes of the brand-new original BBC America show, Copper.

Summer can terrible for those stuck in the city. The air stinks of tourist's sweaty sunblock residue, all the good-looking, rich locals are at beach houses you could never afford, and your 4th floor walk-up is barbarically under air-conditioned. However, if you take this short survey, you could win this portable gas grill—the perfect preemptive way to make the dog days of summer less doggy. Drag it to your roof/ fire escape/ abandoned lot down the block, and you'll be flipping burgers and pretending you where somewhere else in no time!

Now that you've read all about New York City's bloody history, prepare to descend into the world of Copper, BBC America's brand-new, original series. Academy Award®-winner Barry Levinson (Good Morning Vietnam, Rain Man) is among its executive producers, and he and series co-creator, Emmy®-winner Tom Fontana (Oz, Homicide: Life on the Streets), are big-time NYC history buffs.

As promised, Bridget C. Firtle, founder of The Noble Experiment, an aptly-named Brooklyn organic rum distillery, is here right now in the comments. Ask her all about how she managed to break free of analyzing hedge funds and follow her higher calling to hand-crafting liquor.

As recently as last year, Bridget C. Firtle was an investment analyst at a mid-sized hedge fund. Now she's the founder of The Noble Experiment, an aptly-named Brooklyn organic rum distillery (she's got her eye on whiskey, too) that's situated far from Wall Street—in scary, scary Bushwick.

Did you know a bouncer called Gallus Mag used to bite off patrons' ears and store them in pickle jars in one of modern-day New York City's most well-known watering holes? Taking a cue from Copper, the new BBC America show about the violence, corruption, race riots, and class struggle of 1860s New York, here's a few of the city's historically gory addresses that you can still visit today — along with where to find them.

Back in 1997, a grocery clerk in Oregon listed a classified ad in a survivalist magazine that read:

Last week we asked you to take the 2012 Gawker Media Census, and in return offered one lucky survey-taker the opportunity to win a new iPad. Well, early responses are in, and we learned some interesting info about you guys—like the fact that you're more likely to purchase alcohol than cleaning supplies in upcoming months. Hey, if worse comes to worst, you can always use vodka to sterilize things…

Summer can terrible for those stuck in the city. The air stinks of tourist's sweaty sunblock residue, all the good-looking, rich locals are at beach houses you could never afford, and your 4th floor walk-up is barbarically under air-conditioned. However, if you take this short survey, you could win this portable gas grill—the perfect preemptive way to make the dog days of summer less doggy. Drag it to your roof/ fire escape/ abandoned lot down the block, and you'll be flipping burgers and pretending you where somewhere else in no time!

If you find yourself heading down to the Lower East Side to soak up some that ghost-of-CBGBs/Arlene's Grocery/Motor City, um, essence, and happen to also be in the market for a gorgeous custom-fitted suit, stop by SEW on Mott Street. Inside, you'll find proprietor Scott Evan Wasserberger, the bespoke tailor to the stars (and regular people). Scott, a lifelong New Yorker (well, Long-Islander) and tailor, will measure, hand-stitch, and personalize a suit for you.

Ahh, first dates. You wash your armpits in the sink, bring extra breath freshener, and study up on the day's trending Twitter topics, and yet you still feel hopelessly unprepared. Well, if you take this quick survey, you could be entered to win a $150 Ticketmaster gift card—the perfect cheapskate way to get 2 tickets to a really cool event. Take your date out in style, and hopefully you can avoid talking to them completely!

Natalia Oberti Noguera, Founder and CEO of Pipeline Fellowship, started her company in 2010 with the goal of creating more capital for women social entrepreneurs. Right after launching the Pipeline Fellowship, Natalia heard from a woman entrepreneur how a male judge at a pitch event declared publicly that "women are a niche market." Natalia and Pipeline Fellowship COO A. Lauren Abele boldly disagree.

After last year's census, we discovered that 81% of our readers "lived for" political scandals and celebrity gossip, which is kind of like, "yeah, well, duh." However, a more surprising fact was that 72% of you darling do-gooders participated in philanthropic events last year and 41% regularly empty out your pockets for charity. Congrats! Not all of you gossip-mongering snarkasauruses are jaded societal leeches. Now, give back to your community a little more by taking ten minutes from your day to answer the 2012 Gawker Media Census. You could win a new iPad.

John Eaton, co-founder, member of the Board of Directors, and advisor at SocialChorus, took the company from a straight-up startup to an established digital social marketing business with clients like Fortune 500 brands Pepsi Co., Intel, and Toyota (to name a few). How did he build his brainchild? With a BlackBerry.