Only in New York, kids. Only in New York.

Well. We thought we had it on good authority that new MSNBC chief Dan Abrams was not, in fact, a virgin. But then, we also thought he was younger than 40.

You know, as opposed to the usual calm, relaxed state of things there.

But isn't the bigger problem that the city's middle class was already so small one guy's dismissal makes a difference? (And since when an eight-figure NBA coach considered middle class, anyway?)

In fairness to the daycare center, they only got freaked out when Andrew Sullivan couldn't provide a good reason for his visit.

Also, Yahoo enjoys renewed gullibility for bullshit manufactured hipster faux-trends.

Rejected possibilities for the Post's brilliant use of the front-page speech bubble:

Who the... what the... how the... huh?! The real test of whether Democrats can take back Congress will come when there are actually elections for Congress, in November?! Christ, really? See, with members-only wisdom like that, no wonder TimesSelect is a success.

Sigh. Wouldn't it be nice if the national Republicans were as incompetent as the New York party? Or, rather, wouldn't it be nice if the national Republicans had been this incompetent before they were elected?

It's times like these we thank God we were born in a country with the First Amendment.

If only Murrow had lived to see the day.

Penelope Cruz, Matthew McConaughey Split [AP/NYT]
Related: Breaking Times Styles News: Bruce Pask Still Hasn't Shaved [Media Mob/NYO
Earlier: Stop the Presses: Thursday Styles Lies About 'Spin' Beards!

Who's calling for an end to genital cutting? We don't know. Third base! (Yuk yuk yuk.)

It occurs to us: Perhaps rocket scientists aren't as smart as they're cracked up to be?

Oh, of his gray distinction. Sometimes you're reminded why it's important to read your Google News Alerts very, very carefully.

Next week, the paper can't believe what they charge to rent a car around here.

The emails trickling in suggest there's a feeling that we ought to say something about the guilty verdicts just handed down against Enron's Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay and Jeff Skilling. So, um: Yay?

Oh how we've missed you, ridiculous and exploitative "Watch Now" teasers. It's so nice to have you back.

Quarantined from society in upstate New York, former Page Six-er Jared Paul Stern has taken up obsessive emailing, knitting, and, of course, blogging (so maybe we had something to do with that one). If you can ignore the usual Stern propaganda, he does take a discerning eye to the Times and notices that the Gray Lady sure does love to delicately dance:

• 16 on Death Row, Tupac
• Don't Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult
• 18 and Life, Skid Row
• Folsom Prison Blues, Johnny Cash
• Going Down to Die, Danzig
• Stranded on Death Row, Dr. Dre