After a long, hard, bloody, awful debate that brought out the worst in our national conversation, the Democratic health care package just passed by a House vote of 220-215. An anti-abortion federal funding amendment sealed the deal. So: now what?

There's much chatter about upcoming final votes on the Health Care bill we're basically sick—ahem—of hearing about because when people talk about health care they apparently start to go slightly insane. As evidenced by this baby-assisted floor speech.

A bunch of angry white people are yelling at members of Congress right now — both for and against healthcare reform. It's a good thing the Capitol complex has tunnels underneath it so members can avoid these filthy common people.

Hey, this frankly amazing Onion video almost kinda came true! Glenn Beck suffered an appendicitis attack on-air today.

Rural Democrats refused to have the House version of the public option reimburse providers with rates tied to Medicare, because Medicare underpays rural hospitals and doctors. Guess what they did for urban hospitals, though!

Did you hear the breaking news? Nancy Pelosi's socialist health care bill is almost as long as Infinite Jest! And that means it is bad. It is a bad bill, because good bills are short.

1. His Name is No, Dr. No - Some hippie was once so enthralled by his resistance to the word "yes" that s/he sent him a giant "NO" in gratitude. He loves it so.

You have heard, probably, about how Connecticut Senator Joe "Wallace Wimple" Lieberman inserted himself into the health care debate by announcing that he'd join a Republican filibuster against Harry Reid's bill. But no one has explained why!

Joe Lieberman knows the public option is a one way ticket to hell and will fight it to the death! Well, not really, but Ken Layne can always fantasize.

Everyone is acting like the Health Care negotiations have become crazy and impossible to figure out but that is a lie. Where we are at right now is quite simple.

Look at that, a "reporter" for a "legitimate news organization" is co-hosting a "day of health care events" sponsored by a conservative advocacy group! His name is John Stossel and as of last month he works for Fox News.

We know we promised to shut up about it and demanded that everyone else do the same, but there is news today, about the health care reform! It is going to happen! Reid is inching toward a liberal public option.

It was just on Monday that we demanded that everyone shut up about Health Care reform for a while, because honestly it is in a boring and necessary stage of dull legislating. Look who reads Gawker: the President!

McKalip forwarded the "Obama as African witch doctor" email to his tea party friends months ago, and then they made him promise to stop representing them in public.

Let's make a deal: no more talking about health care reform. For a while, anyway. A couple weeks, let's say. Because no one on TV and few people in newspapers can actually explain what's going on with it.

Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) will vote for the Senate Finance Committee's health care reform bill, but only today, and there's no guarantee she'll vote for the same bill tomorrow, because how else will she keep people paying attention to her?

You thought all PricewaterhouseCoopers' did was count Oscar votes and seal envelopes, but you are wrong. They also lie, professionally, for various large and evil industries.

Keith Olbermann's hour-long, uninterrupted, endless "Special Comment" last night was actually called "The Fight Against Death." You will lose that fight, Keith. We all will.

Good news, coke heads: there's now a vaccine to cure your snow-blown woes!

Remember David McKalip, neurosurgeon and head of the anti-health care reform group "Doctors for Patient Freedom"? Probably not. But remember his hilarious "Obama as witch doctor" email forwarding misadventure? How is his pledge to stop advocating against Obamacare going?