[Obviously this picture of Spencer and Heidi Pratt is staged and we really shouldn't indulge them, but oh well. Appropriately, it's from Splash]

The final season of The Hills, MTV's reality television experiment gone awry, doesn't start until April 27th and we're already sick of hearing about this crew. Once the show wraps, can we wipe it from our collective memory forever?

• Mischa Barton didn't do so hot while filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU earlier this week. She reportedly forgot her lines repeatedly and some people suspect it's because the troubled actress has been partying a bit too hard recently. Then again, after playing a strung-out hooker on L&O, her career has nowhere to go but up, right? [NYDN]
• Publishing heiress Lydia Hearst has posed for Playboy and had a guest appearance on Gossip Girl. What's next? She's leaving NYC for Los Angeles to launch an acting career, naturally. Unfortunately, she's taking her boyfriend, spiky-haired pop rocker Ryan Cabrera, along for the ride, so she may not be getting off to the best start. [P6]
• Speaking of people who have built a career based on their willingness to take off their clothes, remember Amy Fisher? She'll be getting naked at a restaurant on Long Island this week and is setting aside a portion of the proceeds to help victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Your turn, Buttafuoco. [P6]
• John Edwards has finally come clean and admitted that he's the father of Rielle Hunter's two-year-old daughter. Better late than never? [People]

• Remember the dust-up a couple of weeks ago when it was reported that Beyoncé had performed for the son of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi in St. Bart's on New Year's Eve? Photos of the concert have now surfaced, although the worst thing about them may be how Beyoncé looks like she's the headliner at a tacky club in New Jersey. [DM]
• Is Bethenny Frankel trying to pull a Star Jones? It seems Frankel has been approaching vendors and asking them to "sponsor" her wedding: She'd get their services gratis and, in exchange, they'd get a mention on her upcoming reality show, Bethenny's Getting Married. The only problem with Bethenny's grand scheme? She hasn't had much luck finding companies interested in taking part. [NYDN]
• Here's a great idea: David Letterman has reportedly invited Conan O'Brien to appear as a guest on his show. Cross your fingers! [PopEater]
• Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have not broken up, in case you were concerned. According to friends, he'd committed to working on a film in Wyoming, which is is why he didn't climb Mt. Kilimanjaro alongside Biel. It's not because he didn't want to, say, spend a week living with the love of his life in a tent. He would have totally done it if he could have. Really. [P6]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie donated $1 million yesterday to Doctors Without Borders to fund emergency medical operations in Haiti. As for whether Tiger Woods really paid to send a plane full of medical supplies to the devastated nation, that's a (pretty unlikely) story that Russell Simmons has been circulating, though Tiger's reps have yet to confirm it. But it wouldn't be the worst way to begin rebuilding his image, come to think of it. [Us, TMZ]

• Is disgraced publicist Ali Wise the latest addition to the cast of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show? Possibly! Wise apparently wants people to know "she's still out on the scene and doing fine" and taped an appearance at the opening of pal Stacey Bendet's new store last week. And she's expected to turn up in other episodes of the show. Let's just hope that Wise—who allegedly stalked women her ex dated—and the Tinz don't clash over any German princes or former American Idol contestants, or things could get ugly. [NYDN]
• In case you were worried that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were going through a rough patch, you can stop stressing. They celebrated her birthday at a club in the meatpacking district over the weekend and reportedly "looked very much in love all night." [P6]
• Penelope Cruise still hasn't confirmed whether or not she's engaged to Javier Bardem, but she's been shopping for a wedding dress recently, at least according to In Touch magazine's "sources." [In Touch via NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn's super-short hair is her signature, but it has its downsides, too, it seems. A woman propositioned the Brit model at a party the other night. Deyn "politely turned her down." [P6]

• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]

• Rihanna has a new album to promote, which explains why she's suddenly breaking her silence about the personal troubles she's faced over the past year. She addresses the Chris Brown incident in an interview in the current issue of Glamour. And she'll discuss it again on Thursday when she sits down to an interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America. [People, Sun, Glamour]
• Related: Rihanna attended Mariah Carey's Halloween party the other night, but the two divas refused to exchange a word. [P6]
• Kate Hudson says she quit drinking to get ready for a film role (and not because she's pregnant). She also says the diamond ring she's been wearing is not because she's engaged to A-Rod. (She says she isn't.) [P6]

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]

• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail. [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]

• DJ AM's overdose on Friday appears to have been accidental, according to law enforcement sources who spoke with TMZ. It seems the celeb DJ, who claimed he'd been sober for 11 years, only started using drugs again after he was prescribed anti-anxiety and pain meds following his plane crash last year. [TMZ, NYDN]
• Those rumors that Chelsea Clinton plans to marry boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky in Martha's Vineyard this summer are heating up again. A large tent and stage have been set up in the area, although no one's sure if it's for the Clinton wedding. [P6]
• Joan Rivers says Libyan leader Moammar Khadafy was thinking about renting her Fifth Avenue apartment for $200K a week, but recently changed his mind. The upshot? Rivers won't have to worry about the dictator "roasting cows in her living room." [P6]

• Are Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly "secretly engaged" and planning to get married this fall? That's what an "insider" is now telling Page Six, for what it's worth. [P6]
• Parker Posey has bowed out of an off-Broadway play, but sushi doesn't appear to be the culprit: Parker has been diagnosed with lime disease, according to people involved with the show. [NYP]
• Redmond O'Neal, the troubled son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, plans to star in his own reality show once he's released from prison. He says he's only doing it to "honor his mother," but then again you probably knew that. [NYDN]
• The police released video footage yesterday of the robbers breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house last weekend. If you spot anyone familiar, feel free to call the cops. Or congratulate them. Or whatever. [NYP]

• One of Jay-Z's bodyguards was arrested in Croatia yesterday after he got into a scuffle with a local TV reporter armed with a tripod. Video of the encounter is here. [TMZ]
• Heidi Pratt is scheduled to perform at the Miss Universe Pageant this weekend; not surprisingly, she and husband Spencer Pratt haven't exactly been making things easy for organizers of the event. [P6]
• Is it over between Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper? The two didn't attend the party for Zellweger's new movie together and, well, we all know what that means, don't we? [P6]
• Rudy Giuliani wandered into Blue & Cream in East Hampton the other day because he thought the clothing boutique was an ice cream shop. [P6]

• Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps got into a car accident in Baltimore last night, but there were no serious injuries reported. [NYDN]
• The father of Khloe Kardashian's baby is her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Scott Disick. She was hoping to keep the info a secret to get people to tune into her upcoming reality show, but then her sister Kim ruined the surprise. [P6]
• Don't be surprised if you hear Mischa Barton's checked herself into the hospital again. She's been out, oh, two weeks now and the British tabloids are focusing on all the cellulite she has, poor thing. [DM]
• Heidi Pratt says she has "20-30 orgasms per day" with husband Spencer Pratt. Could this be because she experiences what she thinks is an orgasm every time she sees her name appear in tabloid or gossip outlet? Just an idea. [P6]

• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and their boyfriends, Nate Lowman and Justin Bartha, had super evening out the other night. It involved steak, making out, tickling, and "chain-smoking cigarettes until after 4am." [P6]
• Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez aren't on the friendliest terms these days. Now things have turned frosty between their respective girlfriends, Minka Kelly and Kate Hudson. [P6]
• Heidi Pratt appears in the new issue of Playboy. But you won't find any nude pics of her in the magazine. She says she won't strip down completely until after she has a few "upgrades" performed by her plastic surgeon. [Us]
• Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. So who's the father? Either she's not saying because she plans to use the news to gin up ratings for her crappy reality show, or becaue she doesn't know herself. One or the other. [E!]

• In news that will delight Jews the world over, it seems Britney Spears is thinking about converting to Judaism. She's been seen wearing a Star of David necklace and has found a rabbi to, like, teach her about stuff, so she's well on her way, clearly. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan hasn't been getting too many acting roles what with all her personal problems as of late. But she may have found a way around that: She's starting her own film/TV production company. [THR]
• Jerry Seinfeld's rep says he not facing money troubles. But he is doing commercials for "a bank in the boonies of Australia," which can't be a good sign. [P6]
• Mariska Hargitay is back on the set of Law & Order: SVU after a mishap earlier this week sent her to the hospital for 13 stitches. [NYDN]
• Publicist Ali Wise was arrested earlier this week for hacking into Nina Freudenberger's voicemail. But she may not be the only victim out there. [P6]

Scores, the strip club on East 60th Street, closed its doors at the end of 2008 after running into some financial difficulty. (Its West Side location was shuttered last May after it got caught up in a prostitution sting operation.) But it's back in business and under new management. And it's in desperate need of publicity, clearly, since it just offered Heidi Pratt a job at the club.

• First Michael Jackson dies, and now this? It seems it's over for Tinsley Mortimer and her husband, Topper, now that Tinz is in London where she's taken up with a German prince named Casimir Wittgenstein-Sayn. Why the change of heart? For starters, "Cassie" makes more money than Topper and owns a castle in Germany. Even more importantly, marrying him would finally make the Tinz a princess. And opportunities like that don't come along every day, naturally. [P6, DM]
• Bradley Cooper denied rumors the other day that he's been dating Jennifer Aniston. One possible reason for that: It looks like he's involved with Renee Zellweger instead. [P6]
• Kevin Jonas is engaged. He's one of those annoying Jonas Brothers, in case you're not up to speed on your annoying teen pop stars. [People]
• A few years ago, someone walking through the meatpacking district would have complained about the stench of rotting meat. Nowadays? They're whining that Diane von Furstenberg's store is pumping perfume into the air. [P6]

E! recently conducted an online reader poll and a resounding 94% of voters wanted to get over-exposed reality blobs banned from coverage. And the network is going to oblige for Heidi and Spencer, and nobody else.

• Here's a rather unlikely rumor but an amusing one all the same: Prince William is supposedly thinking of moving to America with his girlfriend, Kate Middleton, and the two have been spotted house-hunting in Malibu. Frankly, if they were going to move to America—and they're probably not—we see them as more of a New York couple. And NYC could use a prince roaming around, couldn't it? Let's all cross our fingers and hope for the best. [E!]
• Countess (and not-so-real housewife) LuAnn de Lesseps was spotted hanging out with young men and doing tequila shots at a club in the Hamptons last weekend. And the earth continues to rotate on its own axis, too. [P6]
• That was quick. Just a couple of weeks after Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson supposedly reunited, the couple appears to have split up again—and it's all Nicole Richie's fault, too. Or maybe they never got back together at all? Feel free to take your pick. [E!, People, AH]

After Al Roker showed the reality baubles how it's done in his neck of the woods earlier, the gurgling pair were taken to task by the Furies at The View. Whoopi said they were gonna end up on the street.