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• Mischa Barton didn't do so hot while filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU earlier this week. She reportedly forgot her lines repeatedly and some people suspect it's because the troubled actress has been partying a bit too hard recently. Then again, after playing a strung-out hooker on L&O, her career has nowhere to go but up, right? [NYDN]
• Publishing heiress Lydia Hearst has posed for Playboy and had a guest appearance on Gossip Girl. What's next? She's leaving NYC for Los Angeles to launch an acting career, naturally. Unfortunately, she's taking her boyfriend, spiky-haired pop rocker Ryan Cabrera, along for the ride, so she may not be getting off to the best start. [P6]
• Speaking of people who have built a career based on their willingness to take off their clothes, remember Amy Fisher? She'll be getting naked at a restaurant on Long Island this week and is setting aside a portion of the proceeds to help victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Your turn, Buttafuoco. [P6]
• John Edwards has finally come clean and admitted that he's the father of Rielle Hunter's two-year-old daughter. Better late than never? [People]

• Tiger Woods may be holed up in sex rehab in Mississippi, but that doesn't mean he's been humbled. According to the National Enquirer, he's been excused from group counseling and has a maid to clean his room, and he spent $100,000 renovating the cabin that he's been staying in. Elin Nordegren is supposedly scheduled to spend a week with him there as part of something called "disclosure day," which is when he reveal every bit of his cheating ways. Let's hope Elin brings comfortable clothing, because that could take some time. [NYP]
• Good news! It turns out Nic Cage only owes the IRS $14 million. [P6]
• Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller were due in court tomorrow, but a judge has postponed the hearing since Mueller is in the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia. The judge also suspended the couple's restraining order, so Sheen could visit his beloved bride—the one he threatened to kill a few weeks ago—and give her moral support. [NYDN, People]
• Sheen isn't the only actor on Two and a Half Men with relationship issues. His co-star, Jon Cryer, called the FBI last week to report that his ex-wife had contacted a hit man to kill him. The FBI is on it, don't you worry. [TMZ]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs is throwing an over-the-top birthday party for his 16-year-old son Justin this weekend, and it'll all be filmed for MTV's My Super Sweet 16. [P6]
• The White House state dinner crashers, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, appeared before members of the White House Subcommittee on Homeland Security yesterday. But the couple invoked the Fifth and declined to answer any questions, and members of the subcommittee weren't too happy about that. [NYP]
• A judge dismissed the misdemeanor charge against Michael Lohan's ex, Erin Muller, for allegedly kicking Michael in the head on November 14th. The accusations that Lohan abused Muller and kicked her in the crotch? Those are still in play. [TMZ]
• Another possible indication that Michael Lohan is the devil: He supposedly adopted a dog for his girlfriend, ex-tabloid reporter Kate Major, over the holidays, but when the dog started chewing up things around the house, they took the animal to the vet and abandoned him there. [TMZ]
• Is Britney Spears having a hard time readjusting to life at home after going on tour? Is she walking around speaking in funny accents? Is she staying at a hotel, even though her house is just up the street? So many questions, so few answers. [Sun]
• Alex Rodriguez and yet another mystery blond were spotted sunning themselves on a private yacht in Miami yesterday. Most concerning: A-Rod was seen "wearing yellow shorts and white sneakers." [NYDN]
• Heidi Montag's new album has been out for one week, and yet she's only sold 1,000 copies. That plastic surgery bonanza is paying off nicely, isn't it? [Us]
• Brad Pitt has supposedly installed a "secret cave" in his LA home. We have no idea what that means either. [NYDN]
• Jessica Simpson has ditched her trashy wardrobe and is now trying to look classy and "mature." Make a note of it. [NYDN]
• David Hasselhoff is going to star in a new docu-series on A&E in which he helps his two teen daughters break into the entertainment industry. Because if there's anyone who knows how to reach the top, it's the guy who went from starring in one of primetime's most popular dramas to judging a third-rate singing competition, right? [Us]
• Billy Baldwin is back! He's going to play Blake Lively's dad on episodes of Gossip Girl this spring. Let's hope this works out better for him than Dirty Sexy Money. [P6]
• Today is Thursday, so naturally Jon Gosselin has a new Ed Hardy shirt and a new girlfriend. [Us]
• As a child, Nicole "Snooki" Pollizzi went to church every week and she was even an altar girl. Her drunken crotch-flashing gymnastics and multiple-guido-a-night makeouts? Nothing a few Hail Marys can't fix! [NYDN]
• There's hope for everyone: Trainwreck Tara Reid happily reports she's gotten engaged to her German boyfriend. [People]